This is a song called Alone in the Universe, and it’s not what I thought it was about at first. I had to laugh.
It’s perfectly safe for work, unless you listen to the lyrics carefully.
I took the test, and it said,
You are a heady mix of the most evil Popes – Paul III, Benedict IX, Urban II and “Hitler’s Pope” Pius XII.
Oops. I knew I shouldn’t have admitted that vanilla was my favorite ice cream flavor in that last question.
That horrible little Christian parody site, Christwire, is attacking me! It’s terrible! They have publicly made this wicked accusation: “Professor Meyers and the Pharyngula peddle off tentacle anime pornography.” I am aghast. I would sue their slandering, sanctimonious little butts off, except, of course, that their claim is actually true, and I’m actually rather proud of my small role in promoting a universal interest in animal sex.
I’m therefore going to have to fire back directly by linking to them and hammering down their bandwidth. Go ahead, visit their site until you reduce it to a stammering series of 404 errors.
And right after you’ve choked them off, you can read these articles just to spite them.
The burden of bearing a massive penis
Evolution of the mammalian vagina
This is just wrong, and it’s going to mislead lots of messiahs. Nowadays, if you want to sell your body, the old robes and sandals gimmick won’t do the trick — Jesus really needs to be dressed in a tube top and hot pants.
It’s good to be told that we strike terror into the hearts of parody web sites everywhere. Let’s go stomp on their bandwidth some more.
But Ed Yong provides the proper perspective. The universe is not the same as it was before yesterday — I think Darwinius masillae may even have changed the course of several planets.
Perfect: cobble together an obscenely irrational hybrid of religion and science in the vain attempt to appease everyone at once, and what do you get? Something to annoy everyone at once.
I have to take back some of the mean things I’ve said about Intelligent Design creationism. They have finally made a significant contribution to a science…in this case, computer science. Behold the awesome power of the Intelligent Design Sort!
Intelligent Design Sort
Introduction
Intelligent design sort is a sorting algorithm based on the theory of intelligent design.
Algorithm Description
The probability of the original input list being in the exact order it’s in is 1/(n!). There is such a small likelihood of this that it’s clearly absurd to say that this happened by chance, so it must have been consciously put in that order by an intelligent Sorter. Therefore it’s safe to assume that it’s already optimally Sorted in some way that transcends our naïve mortal understanding of “ascending order”. Any attempt to change that order to conform to our own preconceptions would actually make it less sorted.
Analysis
This algorithm is constant in time, and sorts the list in-place, requiring no additional memory at all. In fact, it doesn’t even require any of that suspicious technological computer stuff. Praise the Sorter!
Feedback
Gary Rogers writes:
Making the sort constant in time denies the power of The Sorter. The Sorter exists outside of time, thus the sort is timeless. To require time to validate the sort dimishes the role of the Sorter. Thus… this particular sort is flawed, and can not be attributed to ‘The Sorter’.Heresy!
It’s a kind of universal argument, too — just replace the word “list” with “gene”, and it transforms into their usual assertion about biology.
Yeah, there’s little I like better than some sweet snarky skewered Libertarianism.
Of course, if you don’t like it, you could always go complain in the comments over there.
