Bill Donohue just keeps on giving

There’s one thing that could make this video funnier.

It would be Bill Donohue waxing apoplectic over that video.

Hallelujah! My prayers are answered!

Comedian Sarah Silverman appeared on Bill Maher’s HBO show on October 9 attacking the Vatican. She began her monologue bemoaning the plight of world hunger, and then found a solution: “What is the Vatican worth, like 500 billion dollars? This is great, sell the Vatican, take a big chunk of the money, build a gorgeous condominium for you and all your friends to live in…and with the money left over, feed the whole f—ing world.”

Speaking of the pope, Silverman continued, “You preach to live humbly, and I totally agree. So, now maybe it’s time for you to move out of your house that is a city. On an ego level alone, you will be the biggest hero in the history of ever. And by the way, any involvement in the Holocaust, bygones….”

Silverman closed by saying, “If you sell the Vatican, and you take that money, and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get crazy p—y. All the p—y.”

Catholic League president Bill Donohue responds as follows:

Silverman’s assault on Catholicism is just another example of HBO’s corporate irresponsibility. Time and again, if it’s not Bill Maher thrashing the Catholic Church, it’s one of his guests. There is obviously something pathological going on there: Silverman’s filthy diatribe would never be allowed if the chosen target were the Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem and the state of Israel.

Here’s a reality check for Silverman: the Catholic Church operates more hospitals and feeds more of the poor than any private institution in the world. It also saved more Jews during the Holocaust than any other institution in the world.

Factcheck time, Bill!

In America, as of 1999, 13% of all hospitals were religious (totaling 18% of all hospital beds); that’s 604 out of 4,573 hospitals. [6] Despite the presence of organized religion in America, the Church has managed to scrape together only a few hospitals. Of these 604 hospitals many are a product of mergers with public, non-sectarian hospitals. Not all of these 604 hospitals are Catholic; many are Baptist, Methodist, Shriner (Masonic), Jewish, etc.

Despite the religious label, these so-called religious hospitals are more public than public hospitals. Religious hospitals get 36% of all their revenue from Medicare; public hospitals get only 27%. In addition to that 36% of public funding they get 12% of their funding from Medicaid. Of the remaining 44% of funding, 31% comes from county appropriations, 30% comes from investments, and only 5% comes from charitable contributions (not necessarily religious). The percentage of Church funding for Church-run hospitals comes to a grand total of 0.0015 percent.

Oh, and Catholics and the Holocaust? It was complicated. The Vatican dragged its feet for years; they could have done so much more.

Taking bad acting to new troughs

Bet you didn’t know I’m the guy who talked the deity into using the horrifically inefficient and cruel process of evolution to create life on earth, didja?

The trick to maneuvering him into doing anything? Appeal to his vanity. The guy is definitely omninarcissistic.

(Psst. Notice that the deity’s science advisor is wearing an “A” pin, and one of Lynn Fellman’s sciency ties. Bad acting is no barrier to sneaky product placement!)

Oh, and don’t forget to subscribe and donate. How else will they ever be able to stop scraping the bottom of the barrel for guest appearances?

It’s Saturday night, and I know what you nerds are doing

For some reason, this geeky little saga tickled me.

David: Taunt dude! You’re supposed to be the tank!

Zach: Just back up, you’re drawing agro.

David: I can’t, I’m-

Cheryl: *opening the door* David…?

David: Oh sh*t!

Cheryl: Discarded pizza rolls, empty Mountain Dew bottles…What’s going on here?

David: We were…I was…fixing Zach’s computer!

Cheryl: Liar! *starts bawling* You’re having a LAN party aren’t you!?

David: You weren’t supposed to see this! You aren’t supposed to be home for another three hours!

Zach: I should leave.

David: No, you know what? I’m done hiding.

Cheryl: *crying* You told me you were watching football.

David: Zach and I are in love! With Warcraft.

Cheryl: What’s next, David? Painting Warhammer figures? Magic The Gathering? You’re a child.

Zach: Magic is a complex game of strategy! It’s not for kids!

Cheryl: You stay out of this! You…you…virgin loser!

David: That’s no way to talk to Lucan The Holy!

*Cheryl is taken aback*

David: Listen, Cheryl. We may be working class nobodies in the real world. But here, we’re level 80 Paladins, defending the Alliance from the forces of evil. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but we take a lot of pride in it.

*David puts his arm around Zach. Cheryl stares for a few seconds.*

Cheryl: We are never having sex again.

Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. I was also sent this revealing listing of WoW players: where did they get that interesting name, I wonder? It’s all good, at least Horde predominates, but I am troubled by the squeaky little gnome named Pharyngula.