I’ve been avoiding stores for a while now, because they’re all playing the same tired, horrible Christmas carols all the time — I was trying to buy almond milk and eggs the other day and had to flee because Mariah Carey started singing. I’m wishing I could turn that about and carry around a boombox playing this mash up of the carol of the bells and the imperial march when I enter a business.
It goes on for an hour! The one drawback to my plan for revenge is that I’d get sick of this carol 5 minutes after I started.
It would take a full 5 minutes to get sick of it, PZ? That’s some stamina. I got sick of carols permanently about 40 years ago. I did go to a performance by a chorus which sang a couple of carols at the beginning, but they mostly did other things like a song about “Nobody likes a fruitcake.” That’s the Xmas spirit.
That is absolutely wonderful PZ. It gave me the best laugh I’ve had in weeks.
But I would also like to recommend my favorite carol, which is (of course) The Christmas Song by Tom Lehrer. That’s my kind of Christmas spirit.
Any song repeated enough would get tiresome, but it would take a lot for me to tire of The Cherry Tree Carol. Never mind the theology, its a beautiful song.
I could listen to Jingle Bell Rock and the instrumental version of Sleigh Ride maybe twice and I’m good for the year . I remember I got so tired of hearing holiday songs one year that I started singing the Uncle F***er song. The teenager I was standing next to thought it was hilarious especially since she knew I was a grandmother. 😁 The one song that will make me leave a store is The Bing Crosby David Bowie version of Little Drummer Boy🤦🏾♀️
That is an excellent mash-up of the two. Excellent to wash dishes and clean house to! Thank you!
Here’s one I can get behind:
I’m especially sick of the totally substance-free carols like “Holly Jolly Christmas,” “Here Comes Santa Claus,” “It’s the Most Wunnerful Time of the Year” (hello? It’s WINTER, dumbass!), “Let it Snow,” and all the rest of that shlock that says absolutely nothing but “be merry ‘cuz you’re supposed to!”
At least the overtly Christian carols actually sing about Jesus — that’s more substance and sincerity than the standard commercial shlock. I remember one really sappy song about an angel watching over a sleeping US soldier somewhere in Iraq; it was dreadful to listen to, but at least it admitted there were people somewhere who weren’t able to fully enjoy the “Christmas spirit.”
And here’s what I consider a very good remedy for all the shopping-mall carols: the Medieval, Renaissance and Baroque Christmas CDs (Nonesuch). The Medieval Babes also did some good stuff, though I’m not really sure how much of their “Christmas CD” songs are really Christmas-y.
And here’s another problem I have with this “Holiday Season,” more than previous ones: all the damn Xmas hype started in September, which means I’ve been sick of hearing about Christmas since
SamhainHalloween. I remember the good ol’ days when Christmas hype didn’t start till after Thanksgiving.THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS CANNOT END UNTIL CHRISTMAS ENDS ITS ILLEGAL OCCUPATION OF NOVEMBER! (Or at the very least, it should pull out of October and September?)