I feel like I need to apologize for whatever smug twit thought it was clever to put that “II” in the middle of “Gladiator”. Its appearance in the title card was, however, the last bit of wit in this entire movie, and was also representative of the botched, gimmicky plot of the sequel.
First, the historical background, even though it really doesn’t matter. In the early 200s CE, Caracalla, a Gallic soldier, was emperor of Rome for about 20 years; his brother, Geta, was briefly co-ruler before he was assassinated by the Praetorian Guard. Caracalla himself was also murdered by the Praetorian Guard, and was succeeded by Macrinus, the Praetorian prefect, who only ruled for about a year before he lost a battle near Antioch and got himself executed. There. That’s more history than you need, because this movie is going to jettison everything but the names and compress everything down to a couple of days one summer in Rome. Time has no meaning.
The gladiiator in the title is a soldier who is captured in the battle which led to Rome conquering Numidia…sometime around 200 CE. Wasn’t Numidia annexed by the Emperor Augustus, somewhat before then? No matter, this isn’t history. He’s hauled off to Rome as a slave, thrown into the arena, and kills a mangy monkey (I’m not belittling the accomplishment, it really is one hideous, terrifying baboon with huge fangs and a temper, so good on him.) The emperors, a pair of drooling psychopathic halfwits that I mentally labeled as Short Ed Sheeran and Tall Ed Sheeran, were impressed, as were some rebellious senators, as was his mom. It turns out that Gladiiator is the son of the gladiator from the first movie! It’s a hereditarian miracle!
Anyway, there are some more fights in the arena, including a spectacular naval battle. Tall Ed Sheeran gets murdered, and then Short Ed Sheeran gets murdered, and then, somehow, Gladiiator gets a legion to march on Rome, which is confronted by a Roman legion. The ending gets very confusing as Gladiiator is teleporting all over the place to wherever the plot finds convenient; also, Rome seems to be very tiny, as he ends up posing by the singular Gate of Rome, with the whole city laid out behind him, which is mostly empty except for one prominent feature, the Colosseum, of course.
In a climax fitting for a Marvel superhero movie, the cunning, scheming, clever primary bad guy gets on a horse and gallops to the space between the two legions, dismounts, and gets into a one-on-one swordfight with the monkey-killing gladiiator. It made no sense. Nothing in this movie makes sense. Time and space are meaningless. Murderous ridiculous clowns can rule the world, which is at least believable now in the 21st century.
I was not entertained.
A good summary. It was a terrible film.
From what I understand the Roman gladiator world was closer to modern pro wrestling than the wanton murder we think of. It could be dangerous, but spectacle was the primary goal.
Or Homer. No, not the dad from the Simpsons. The Achilles vs Hector one. But I get hating on Marvel is trendy right now so whatevs.
For a very intersting historian’s view on the movie, see here and here.
Caracalla wasn’t a “Gallic soldier”. His father, emperor Septimius Severus, was of Numidian/Punic descend…which makes the conquest of Numidia at the beginning of this movie, even though by the date of the film it had been a Roman province for more than 200 years, especially baffling.
Presumable a GladIIator is one who uses two swords at once.
Caracalla was sole Emperor for six years. Yes, he was technically co-Augustus with his father but had no actual power during that time.
Watched the movie last night (I am a Roman archaeologist). Yes, the history was bad, but not really worse than the first movie. I found it pretty much reprising the plot of the first movie, with a few cosmetic changes.
Gladiator was fine as an action pic (though not a historical epic) — I gave it a B at the time and would maintain that grade. Gladiator 2 didn’t add or subtract much; Denzel Washington managed to partially rescue the picture. Perhaps a B- or C+.
One of the funny parts was how the movie unintentionally showed the sheer impracticality of holding mock naval battles in the Colosseum. In reality, the Romans held mock naval battles (which were a real thing) in specially-constructed artificial lakes.
At least the Conan films had no pretension of being based on history. Conan II: Revenge of Grace Jones was fun to watch.
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This film reminds me of a western film presented in Brandon’s Cult Movie Reviews that was based in the American west, had a European princess and some asian horsemen baddies.
Actually, that film looked entertaining!
During the time around Septimus Severus interesting things were happening outside Rome.
The Parthian kingdom was about to be suppleanted by the much more dangerous neo-Persian empire. Stuff happened in China and India.
The northern horsemen were always restless.
Film company executives are as devoid of imagination as they are full of greed.
…and a petty king named Gandalf lived in what is today western Sweden. The iron age is the approximate period of the Beowulf myth.