Which is worse: 1) the guy peddling silly Christian theology who truly believes in that nonsense, or 2) the guy peddling silly Christian theology who doesn’t understand it or believe it? For me, it’s a toss-up; #1 isn’t lying to everyone, but is still a gullible ninny, while #2 is trying to convince everyone to buy something he doesn’t think is worth it. They’re both awful people.
Now Donald Trump has become a Bible salesman. He’s selling them for $59.99. Of course he gets a cut — he’s not doing this because he wants to save everyone, but because he wants to save himself. He’s #2.
These are special Bibles, the Lee Greenwood Version. Greenwood is the folksy singer who got rich off one song, a patriotic country-western anthem that gets the good ol’ boys tearing up and cheering, while I’m leaning over to puke under the bleachers. What makes his Bible special is that it’s in easy-to-read large print (it won’t get read much, though), and also includes copies of the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, and among those immortal words, the lyrics to Greenwood’s best-selling country song, “God Save the USA.” It’s also The God Bless The USA Bible is the ONLY Bible inspired by America’s most recognized patriotic anthem, God Bless The USA.
It’s not just divinely inspired, it’s Lee Greenwood inspired, which makes it just that much better.
They have a FAQ page for this grift, with one question that did set me back a bit.
WHAT IF MY BIBLE HAS STICKY PAGES?
This is not something I usually worry about when I buy a book, but it just tells you how wonderful and exciting this Bible must be.
(They say it’s just because of the gilded edges, but we all know what it’s really about…)
“What if my bible has sticky pages” is up there with weird sentences alongside Frank Zappa’s music title ‘Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow’.
Song of Solomon baby.
So true.
Isn’t that a contradiction in terms? The language of the KJV is notoriously archaic and anything but “easy reading”.
Stick pages? Did Trump personally deposit DNA on each Bible?
From the FAQ:
So, none of the money is going to Trump… except for the money they’re paying him for the license. No mention of how much that is.
Also, there doesn’t seem to be any information on the site about who does own this or where any potential profits are going. I did a whois check, but it just shows that the site is registered through godaddy.
re LykeX @4: Cross-post from the Infinite Thread (post #382 by CompulsoryAccount7746, Sky Captain, article link https://religionunplugged.com/news/2021/5/25/after-pushback-harpercollins-will-not-produce-god-bless-the-usa-biblenbsp):
LykeX @6
ICANN shows it owned by DomainsByProxy, LLC. So someone paid to register domains to keep the real owner secret.
One wonders about all of the portions of “the Bible” left out of the KJV; there are just a few right-wing American Catholics, for example, who will find this edition unsatisfying, as will Episcopalians (for slightly different reasons). And the Book of Mormon appears to be right out!
@6. LykeX : I like the bit where they talk about : “For your convenience, we have provided links to a Youtube video that does a wonderful job of explaining how to break your new Bible in.” As if it’s a horse or something? What the.. ?
No translations, of course, too..
I wonder if the story of the Golden calf will be illustrated aptly with a picture of the Golden Trump statute they had a CPAC some years ago now :
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/feb/27/golden-trump-statue-mexico-cpac
Which turns out to be made in Mexico..
Oh & they do know the the Americas – all of them from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego USA obvs ain’t included in the Bible right? Right?
Naturally, I wonder how many will remain with stuck pages because they were never cracked open.
^ Dangnabbit. Should be fully asleep now not just half asleep, sigh. Make that :
They do know that the Americas – all of them from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego – with the USA obvs included – ain’t in the Bible or mentioned by the XN God in any form (Mormons excepted) right?
PS. Be “ironic” (if that’s the right word? Never sure with that term..) if some of its purchasers actually read the red letters of Jesus in this latest version of the Bible and what he actually said & thereby were convinced .. NOT to vote for Trump and Repugs.
John 14;15
“If you love me, keep my commandments”
– Jesus Christ
Mark 10, Luke 12, 14, 18, Matthew 19
Sell all you have and give to the poor. The commands of Jesus Trump has no intention of following. Nor most loud, self proclaimed right winged Christians. We see right winged politicians falling all over themselves to mandate the ten commandments be displayed and taught in our schools. Because Jesus commands that these commandments be followed. The punch line to the command of Jesus to follow the ten commandments, sell all you have and give to the poor, gets left off of of all of this.
Commandment 6 is fun also. Thou shalt not kill. Now it is off to Canaan to murder all the Canaanites as per God’s command. What does the 6th commandment really mean?
Anyone ever see the movie “Paper Moon?” It has Ryan O’Neal as a Bible selling con man.
So guy number 1, who is peddling silly Christian theology because he believes it, is also a follower of George Costanza: “It’s not a lie if you believe it!”
@14: See also John Goodman in O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Since the only thing Trump “reads” is his old Playboy collection, he’s convinced every book has sticky pages.
Our old family bible was the KJV version, written using the archaic English.
That language with thee and thou and goeth and so on was archaic even when it was translated.
I always found it jarring, hard to read, and these days pretentious.
The archaic English is pointless and adds nothing to the bible.
There is no reason not to use modern English and most KJV versions I’ve seen lately are written in modern English.
This version, I don’t know whether it uses Elizabethan English or modern English and don’t care enough to look it up.
“US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance”
all of which would be condemned by early Christians as anti-God work of the Anti-Christ.
You are to obey the rulers God has placed over you (George III) not rebel against them.
Do all the Trump bibles come with sticky pages or are they random? Is it like pulling that one in a thousand signature card out of an ordinary pack of baseball cards? Or does everybody get a signed card?
The link @#7 also links to a statement of Christian opposition to the “God Bless the USA Bible”:
https://religionunplugged.com/news/2021/5/25/why-were-glad-our-publisher-isnt-backing-this-bible
Sadly, they are no doubt in a very tiny minority nowadays.
Blasphemy! You might as well put pages of classified ads in the back.
Fucking heretics. Burn the lot of ’em.
They left at least one important document out.
The lyrics to Okie from Muskogee by Merle Haggard.
I’ll put them here so you can photocopy them and put them inside the back cover of your Trump bible.
@LykeX:
You have to read carefully to see where they switched the pea under the shell. They never claimed that the money wasn’t going to Trump. They were very careful to phrase the “question” they answered in the negative as : “Is any of the money from this Bible going to the Donald J. Trump campaign for President?”
Emphasis mine.
So, no, the money is officially not going directly to the Trump presidential campaign. Now, if “CIC Ventures LLC” then sends the licensing funds to the campaign, or to Trump’s litigation expenses, or whatever, well, that’s not the business of God Bless the USA Bible.
Hm. “CIC” can stand for many things, but it occurred to me that one of the things that it can stand for is “Commander-in-Chief”. Coincidence, or very broad wink?
Its probably because they did not properly gold leaf the pages, but instead rollered a mixture of glue and pigment down the side of the book once it was bound. Ironically, using gold (colored stuff) to demonstrate what a cheap piece of crap the book is.
Proper gilt paged bibles use gold from the golden calf statue mose got so upset about.
Easy to read large print?
I’m disappointed. I would expect a Trump bible to include entire chapters in ALL CAPS!
Searching for “CIC Ventures LLC” brings up other Trump-associated grifts and scams. Remember those gold-colored sneakers?
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-gold-sneakers-1871461
Again, note the careful wording. Not by Donald Trump directly, and not by The Trump Organization or affiliates directly. But indirectly? Well, that’s not disclosed.
Maybe the money flows out as an “office rental fee” paid to the golf club?
raven @ #23 — The irony is that anyone putting Merle’s song in the GodBlessAmerica Bible publication would be completely missing the irony of Merle’s jokes. BTW I don’t think Willie gets a credit on that one tho he and Merle probably played it together often enough while token down in the studio. There’s even video somewhere of Willie and Merle playing in Willie’s studio with lots of joint passing.
https://abc7ny.com/trump-is-selling-god-bless-the-usa-bibles-for-5999-as-he-faces-mounting-legal-bills/14574232/
Or Trump just owns CIC Ventures outright.
Isn’t “white lightning” slang for moonshine liquor? Whiskey? So they don’t do all that other stuff, they just get drunk?
Thinking about the large print part. It makes it easier for people with visual disabilities to read, which in MAGAt logic, should make it dangerously woke or something.
Owlmirror @ #30 — Yep…”White lightning” and “moonshine” and “hooch” are pretty much synonyms for homemade, illegal booze. Although you can buy products now that use those names. The good ol’ boys drink that between puffing their jays these days.
Funny, I thought the Bible was supposed to be inspired by God — at least, that’s the doctrine I recall from way back when I was that kind of believer. And back in those days, I think I would have pointed out that these people are pretty close to running afoul of Revelation 22:18:
I did always loath the eagerness of way too many American Christians to conflate America with the Kingdom of God.
OT: Daniel Kahneman has died.
Heather Cox Richardson’s newsletter this morning starts with the Baltimore bridge disaster and the Biden admin’s rapid response to it. She then goes on to point out the right-wing media (a la Alex Jones) saying the accident was deliberate and terrorist. She then points out that there’s often a monetary connection between these kind of claims and the advertising around them. She then turns to Trump’s Bible and says:
Amen, sister! Amen.
In Britain “sticky fingers” is sometimes an euphemism for a dishonest person, a thief.
The president with sticky fingers sells a bible with sticky pages? Sounds consistent.
… and among those immortal words, the lyrics to Greenwood’s best-selling country song, “God Save the USA.”
From what I’ve read about this elsewhere, this line includes two errors:
• Greenwood’s big hit has the title “God Bless the USA”;
• Apparently the anthology sold here has only the lyrics to the chorus: the verses must’ve raised the copyright costs too high.
Maybe they’ll issue a second release with a one-song – or one-chorus – CD in a pocket in the binding!
@37 I’m imagining a Rolling Stones inspired Bible that uses the cover of the Sticky Fingers album for its cover. I’d buy that.
Charles Stross has pointed out what I guess is obvious:
https://wandering.shop/@cstross/112168712933455411
Owlmirror @ #39 — Interesting perspective…using the Bible to commit crime. Of course. Makes perfect sense. That would be shocking if it wasn’t some common.
I own a Bible. It is occasionally useful while working a crossword puzzle. I bought it at a used book sale, so the money (which was not much at all) went to help my local library, not a grifter.
I’d pick divine inspiration over Lee Greenwood inspiration any time.
Trump marks territory on everything.
Brony @ 43
Now you got me associating Trump with the cute foxes at the sanctuary in SaveAFox at Youtube.
Non-domesticated canids will mark their territory indoors. But they are less orange, and more fluffy.
@birgerjohansson
It’s the same with the documents.
@OwlMirror #39
Additionally, all these grifts are guaranteed to sell out as any remaining stock is bought up by one V. Putin.
They are indeed money laundering and I’ve got to wonder if any US agencies are following the money?
Reginald Selkirk @ #41 — I don’r own a Bible and haven’t in years. However, I have four or five bookmarks for various Bible websites including the Interlinear Bible, which provides access to about 24 versions of the Bible.
I’m confused; is God Bless the USA our national anthem now? Do we have to stand whenever it is played or risk the wrath of dozens of keyboard warriors?
Tedw @ 48
Not only stand. Once Trump is re-elected he is bringing back the Bellamy salute.
Unless the books are in the original hebrew and aramaic, I am not paying money for a paper bible.
And they should contain an alarm that goes off when some fucking moron is displaying them upside down.
And written in Trumpglish.
JESUS SAID, “A BIG, STRONG MAN CAME UP TO ME WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES, AND SAID, SIR, CURE MY LEPROSY. IT’S BIG LEAGUE LEPROSY. SAD!”
Poor Francis Scott Key—no one pays any attention to his anthem anymore.
@52 —
Not to mention that thing about the bridge.
@birgerjohansson #50:
Snopes: “photographs from Getty Images and The Associated Press show that Trump was holding this Bible the right way up”
@54
They must have put a picture on the teleprompter of which way was “up” just before taking the video. Though, how they got him to pay attention to it long enough to get that right, instead of wandering off into an incoherent rant is uncertain. Maybe they did it like he was a small child and put it next to a picture of Putin with is shirt off, a big bag of money, or a nude photo of someone he, “Would never date. She is not my type.”?
Shady backstory of the bibles.
“Trump stunt blows up in his face as origins revealed”
.https://youtube.com/watch?v=qZp0zjobSK8
Gilded edges you say?
Matthew 23:27
Silentbob @ 57
A quote suiting the Trump followers and MAGA cultists:
“So little pains do the vulgar take in the investigation of truth, accepting readily the first story that comes to hand.”
Thukydides.
An idea for anyone creating a Bible like the trump Bible: When I started my second job back in the early 1980’s, my new manager asked me to create a particular diagram for a particular existing production computer program. When I asked who would use the diagram and how, the answer was unsatisfying. I created the diagram, but in the middle of page 7 of 12 I inserted a bogus component offering $25 cash to anyone who asked me for it, and referred to that component.
After a year, a reminder I’d set popped up, so I requested [the only copy of] the diagram saying that I’d realized that I’d made a serious mistake. I discarded the diagram and never heard a thing about it again.
Sigh …
Over the past several years I have been wading slowly through the KJV (I’ve now reached Paul’s epistles – should finish in the next few months). Motivations for this were mixed – partly so I could tell Christianists* that I’ve read it, partly for historical interest (among versions I could read, the KJV has undoubtedly been the most influential culturally and politically), and partly, once started, that I dislike giving up on something I’ve decided to do. You know how frequently it is claimed that it is a great work of literature, whatever your beliefs? It’s a lie. Sure, it’s “full of quotations” – memes, if you like – but aside from the resonance they gain from being used elsewhere in literature, few even of these are anything special, and for the most part, it is mediocre or worse in terms of literary merit.
*I have no problem with Christians, as long as they don’t proselytise; those who do are Christianists.
@60 Yeah, I have heard it commented that Psalms has some decent poetry in it, but the rest is an absolute mess. But, sadly, kind of like in the other thread from PZ about books, even terrible writing will sell.
KG @60: Literary merit is in the eye of the beholder. I love the language of the KJV, and of Shakespeare, even though there are lots of ‘boring bits’ in both.
Keats obviously thought highly of Chapman’s translations of the Iliad and Odyssey (roughly contemporaneous with KJV and WS); “Silent, upon a peak in Darien” and all that. I find them unreadable.