He’s half right, you know

Mary and I saw Barbie last night. Ben Shapiro is partly right — it is the most woke movie I’ve ever seen. Although…we watched the whole thing, eagerly awaiting the gay orgy scene and the raging trans character stealing all the scenes, and were so disappointed. The closest we got to an orgy was two Kens kissing Ken on the cheek, and I guess we have to trust that there was a trans person there, but she was just playing Barbie like all the other Barbies.

It was loaded full of the Feminizms, though. And the Kens were patriarchal assholes, kinda incel-like, but the movie was also sympathetic to them and tried provide solutions to their problems. There was all this talk of autonomy and independence and freedom and positivity and kindness, though, and I can see why Shapiro would think it was garbage — he doesn’t like any of that stuff. There’s even a Shapiro joke, with one Barbie saying that she’s comfortable with both logic and emotion at the same time.

There were also some good jokes about the Snyderverse, and the last line of the movie is a killer. I felt sorry for Alan, Ken’s Buddy, and poor permanently pregnant Midge.

Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie were perfectly cast. (You should google their names right now: Google will give you a pink fireworks show.) Both were energetic and entertaining.


I know everyone is talking about the contrast between Barbie and Oppenheimer, but unfortunately the latter movie isn’t scheduled for a showing at my local theater. Once they get done showing that lying waste of time, Sound of Freedom, next week, maybe I’ll get to see it.

Oh, and here’s a more thorough review, if you want that.


  1. Reginald Selkirk says

    … and poor permanently pregnant Midge.

    Which one of the Duggars is she?

  2. says

    Is “Sound of Freedom” sold out where you are? Is anyone actually in the theater watching it? I’ve seen videos of that piece of crap playing to EMPTY theaters, even though the showing was “sold out.”

  3. birgerjohansson says

    As The Eschaton has access to all time and space, if you ask it nicely it might switch out the other two films so Oppenheimer comes first.

    Or maybe switch out Sound of Freedom with one of the funny-bad films. Bells of Innocence? Buckets of Blood? I am making the assumption you already have watched Plan Nine and other classics.

  4. raven says

    I’ve seen videos of that piece of crap playing to EMPTY theaters, even though the showing was “sold out.”

    Apparently the fundie xians are buying a lot of tickets to give away for free.
    And, then no one wants the free tickets.

  5. wobbly says

    Actually had some people walking out of Oppenheimer celebrating the dropping of the bombs and how it meant the USA “wins”, complete with fist-bumping.

    To me it begged the question of why commit yourself to nearly three hours of moral introspection if you were so predisposed to missing the point by several miles, but, here we are.

  6. kome says

    Gotta love the insecurity of Ben saying that his producers dragged him to see the movie.

  7. nomaduk says

    If you want a textbook example of astroturfing, take a look at the ‘user reviews’ of Sound of Freedom on IMdB. Hundreds (literally) of vapid 10/10s.

  8. birgerjohansson says

    Astroturfing movie reviews- like that awful Scientology film?

    Wobbly @ 5
    So today’s people (in the case of the film audience) have a better moral compass than people in 1945. That is good news.

  9. wobbly says

    birgerjohansson @ 9
    To be fair they were just a few people that I witnessed out of a packed theater, but it was still baffling to see any individuals walking out of that film basically relishing in jingoisim.

  10. robro says

    …eagerly awaiting the gay orgy scene and the raging trans character stealing all the scenes.

    That will come in an unofficial sequel, but that movie probably won’t be playing in Morris.

    OT: Speaking of the horrors of culture wars…I live in Northern California. I just passed an SUV the two bumper stickers for Robert F(ucker) Kennedy, Jr. Ooh, ick, ick, ick.

  11. birgerjohansson says

    Also, the fans of Robert the Fucker will soon move on, just as the fans of Fucker Carlson are doing.
    Useful far-right kooks are a dime a dozen, and quite interchangeable.

  12. lumipuna says

    Meanwhile in Japan: Hayao Miyazaki’s lastest film just opened, almost without marketing, and is selling like hotcakes. Probably coming to a theater near you late next year, or thereabouts.


    With regard to the “contrast” between Barbie and Oppenheimer, my mind already went to the 1988 double release of My neighbor Totoro and Grave of the Fireflies.

    Someone should produce spoof posters for “My neighbor Barbara” and “Grave of the Hibakusha”


  13. davebot says

    I for one am looking forward to the brilliant insights failed screenwriter and talentless hack, Ben Shaprio will bring to a review of the Barbie movie.

  14. weylguy says

    Barbie – conspicuous consumption, escapism, materialism, consumerist bullshit. Glad you enjoyed the movie, Dr.Myers (didn’t realize you were 10 years old). Nezt up: the Gilligan’s Island Movie, with AI- enhanced Harrison Ford as the Professor.

  15. John Morales says

    Barbie – conspicuous consumption, escapism, materialism, consumerist bullshit.

    Ah, so you too have seen the movie, weylguy.

    (Presumably, you did not enjoy it)

  16. birgerjohansson says

    If we are going to turn negative, … Phoenix is now so hot that people who fall on the pavement risk third-degree burns if they don’t get up immediately. Concrete and asphalt gets literally hot as a stove.
    And 30,000 people are being evacuated from Rhodes because of wildfires.
    But ‘don’t look up”.

  17. John Morales says


    Concrete and asphalt gets literally hot as a stove.

    Not literally, unless the stove is off.

    “Equivalent to 150 degrees Celsius, 375 is the standard setting for medium heat. This temperature is marked by the number “5” on the stovetop.”

  18. StevoR says


    Barbie and Oppenheimer hit cinemas around the world this weekend after months of hype. With arguably two of the most anticipated movies over the year being released on the same day, it was a big weekend for movie fans. The silver screen showdown was dubbed “Barbenheimer”. … (snip)..While the movies are being pitted against each other, this rivalry serves to boost both Barbie and Oppenheimer. “Barbenheimer is a marketing gift borne out of social media,” analytics firm Comscore’s Paul Dergarabedian told the Associated Press. “You’re certainly aware of both movies in a more profound and compelling way than I think might have otherwise happened had they been released on different weekends.”

    Source : https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-07-23/barbie-movie-oppenheimer-barbenheimer-box-office-opening-weekend/102635474

    Starnge bedfellows, uh, allies here I guess!

  19. birgerjohansson says

    John Morales @ 22
    I stand corrected. I used the phrase “hot as a stove” as I do not get the Fahrenheit thing, being an uncultured northener 😊

    Still- Imagine a senior citizen stunbling, falling and not being able to get up quickly from a surface much hotter than boiling water. Aaaaargggh! 😩

  20. birgerjohansson says

    Returning to Barbie- no, not Claus Barbie, he was a murdering nazi bastard that is roasting in hell.
    If Barbie of the film was a little like Summer Glau in ‘Sarah Connor Chronicles ‘ I would certainly watch it.

  21. raven says

    @24 birger.

    The actual temperature of the pavement in Phoenix was reported in the article to be 170-180 degrees F. Water boils at 212 F.
    It’s still hot enough to cause third degree burns in those who fall and can’t or don’t get up quickly.
    That would include old people and those with medical emergency events such as heat exhaustion.
    I can recall at least one case of someone dying this way in Phoenix.

    I imagine it is also really hard on the paws of pet dogs and cats since they don’t wear shoes.

  22. StevoR says

    @ ^ raven : Dogs and other pets stay indoors in Summer (& on excessively hot days) here. There’s the 10 second test we use here – if I can’t hold my hand on the ground – pavement where dogs will be walking – for ten seconds without it being uncomfortably hot then they stay inside in the cool until I can. Dogs get a lot of late night or at least early morning / late evening walks on the hotter days when its cooled down or cooling down enough to not hurt their paws or make them suffer. Coz yeah.

  23. raven says

    This is OT but this thread is already derailed anyway and it is at least relevant.
    According to this study, the human body ends up stressed at 104 degrees F which is 40 C.

    You can survive higher temperatures but above 104 F. that is about all you are doing.
    In Phoenix when it gets up to 118 F. (48 C.) most people are just going from air conditioned house to air conditioned car to air conditioned work or mall.

    “The heat is already being blamed for at least 18 confirmed deaths in the Phoenix metro area, with 69 other deaths suspected to be heat-related as of July 15. ” I’m surprised it isn’t a lot higher.

    The other problem here is obvious.
    You think it is hot now?
    Wait until 2050 or 2070.
    Without air conditioning, some parts of the earth might just be uninhabitable.
    It isn’t all just about us either. Our animal foodstocks and crop plants are also adapted to the same climate conditions as us because we depend on them for our survival.

    Researchers reveal the precise temperature where the human body starts struggling to cool down

    Laurelle Stelle Fri, July 21, 2023 Yahoo news
    Researchers have known for years that there’s an upper limit on how much heat the human body can take. However, that limit might be lower than you expect.

    A recent study revealed that the human body starts struggling to cope when the temperature hits 104 degrees Fahrenheit, Insider reported.

    What happened?
    The new study was conducted by researchers at the University of Roehampton in England, building on a previous study from 2021. The researchers exposed subjects to different combinations of humidity and temperatures from 82 to 122 degrees Fahrenheit while measuring their core temperature, heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure.

    What they found was that the participants’ bodies started struggling at 104 degrees. There was a sudden spike in the researchers’ measurements that suggested that the human body has a much harder time cooling off when the temperature is that high. The effect was especially noticeable when paired with high humidity.

    Why is this finding about high temperatures important?
    When the human body is exposed to more heat and humidity than it can handle, it experiences heat stress — meaning the heat has an impact on the person’s health. They may experience dehydration, heat exhaustion, or heat stroke, and underlying health problems can become worse.

    Unfortunately, more and more people worldwide are being exposed to conditions that can cause heat stress as our planet continues to overheat.

    Thanks to heat-trapping pollution in the atmosphere, the world is heating up to record-breaking temperatures. The heat is especially impactful in urban areas, which tend to trap heat, and humid parts of the world, but it can affect anyone anywhere.

  24. says

    It seems to me that a lot of confusion could be avoided if the United States would just get over itself and do away with Freedom degrees and join the civilized world in using metric.

  25. christoph says

    @ weylguy, # 17: Hey-when you can build a working automobile out of coconuts and palm trees, THEN you can criticize Gilligan’s Island.

  26. cheerfulcharlie says

    Barbie is obviously a wicked phantasy satire with sharp little teeth. Obviously, it is meant to troll the wingnuts. Which it does very well judging by the loud squeals of the far right MAGAts. Surreal humor the these humoeless dumbkopfs don’t get the joke. Now we have the Pink Barbie cultists vs the Orange Trump cultists. Someplace, john Waters is smiling.

  27. birgerjohansson says

    Anything that trolls the wingnuts is OK with me. If Barbie also trolls the Vatican and the conservative muslims it would be fantastic.

  28. Eric says

    I wonder how many poses Capo Shapiro tried to get the “Angry, Aggrieved Conservative” look just right? It must be exhausting to be constantly angry about a movie about a doll.

  29. cheerfulcharlie says

    Ben Shapiro setting fire to three Barbie dolls? A grown man did that? Now to get that little clip and dub in audio, Barbie shrieks of agony and terror and post it to Youtube.

  30. lotharloo says

    The Barbie movie, like 99.9999% of what Hollywood does, is probably talentless cash grab but I guess it’s good news that feminism and being anti “men’s right movement” are mainstream enough that it persuaded the rich fuckers behind these studios to milk them for money.

  31. lotharloo says

    Also, the first few lines of that review screams “I’M FUCKING WHIIIIITEEE” louder than anything I’ve read in text.

  32. says

    “The Barbie movie, like 99.9999% of what Hollywood does, is probably talentless cash grab…”

    Or, and I’m just spitballin’ here, even if you don’t watch this movie you can watch other films with or by the director and stars and realize that none of them are talentless. That wouldn’t suit your agenda though. But you do you, lotharloo.

  33. says

    birger @33: Not really sure a spate of Barbie riots or Barbie pogroms, in either Spain, Italy or the Muslim world, would be all that good a thing for anyone.

  34. MichaelE says

    Raven #29;

    If temperatures are rising above that level on a regular basis, and here in Europe the weather guys are talking about how the heatwave in southern Europe is a warning of things to come, how long until such areas like Arizona then become effectively uninhabitable?