shhhh…secret mission

It was a plain white insulated box, tightly sealed, no hint of its contents. We drove north a hundred miles to our clandestine destination, there to make the exchange.

We met the North Dakotan operatives at a nondescript Dairy Queen in downtown Crookston. I quietly slid the box across the table. I accepted a bowl of ice cream. Mission accomplished.

We told no one the contents of the box. It was whisked away to undergo detailed analysis by scientists at the University of North Dakota. I won’t reveal what it is, even under torture. There’s no way you can make me tell. Try your worst!


  1. says

    Perhaps you’re wondering how big the box is. It is slightly too small to contain a human head, unless the head were first chopped up and macerated.

  2. Bruce says

    Apparently Trump has never heard of the “Blizzard” dessert that Dairy Queen introduced in 1985. So his people can’t tell if it could have been that stuff.
    I’m more curious about what kind of ice cream you got in return?

  3. Oggie: Mathom says

    What does he have in his boxes, my precious. He mussst tell us, my precious.

  4. Reginald Selkirk says

    The daily special at the Crookston DQ is

    Sloppy joe, or polish, or BBQ pork, bag of chips, and a medium shake

    every single day.
    I would have gone for the Dilly Bar in either butterscotch or cherry.

    Why would one deliver spiders at -20 C? Perhaps it was DNA samples for sequencing.

  5. Oggie: Mathom says

    If PZ had waited for winter, he wouldn’t have needed the insulated box.

  6. wzrd1 says

    @14, dry ice is around -78 C, so possibly, given one doesn’t place it in direct contact with samples.
    Were I to make a guess, I’d guess macerated spiders for microbiome culturing, specifically their gut flora and fauna.
    Soon enough, we’ll know more about the microbiome of spider’s guts than we do about our own, which is also a current area of active research. Ironic, as such was postulated as being a medical product in science fiction back in the ’60’s and ’70’s.

    Oh, OT, but entertaining… Trump made a bunch of campaign promises, one being flying cars.
    As if they’d do any better in the air, given how many can’t drive worth a damn here on the ground…

  7. René says

    That box seems big enough to contain all gods humanity has ever believed in. So, I’d say its contents is ZILCH.

  8. moonslicer says

    If it’s slightly too small to contain a human head, then it’s still big enough to contain a human brain, esp. the type of human brain I’m considering, one belonging to a moronic, bigoted right-winger, which is being taken a way for analysis to figure out how it works or why it doesn’t work, however you want to view the question.

  9. seversky says

    If this were an episode of Fargo it could be something arachnoid. Did the contact look anything like William H Macy, perchance?

  10. hemidactylus says

    @22- seversky
    If he looked like Macy and hailed from Chicago he could be Chief of Emergency Medicine/Surgery Morgenstern or the notorious Gallagher. If the former maybe the box contained Dr Carter’s replacement kidney. If the latter who knows what scheme Frank is up to now with the box contents. PZ might want to call The Alibi Room and ask for Kev. Maybe it was a liver transplant again.

  11. seversky says

    Consider yourself lucky that the secret is out. Otherwise we might have had to resort to – “the comfy chair!”