Wow, I guess that last election was more devastating than I thought

I thought the 2022 elections were rather good news, not great, but the Democrats did a little better than expected, and there’s some faint hope that our “liberal” party was going to wake up to the importance of talking about the issues that matter. We didn’t dig ourselves into a deeper hole, and maybe, if we keep working at it, we can someday reverse the descent that began in the 1980s.

Alas, poor Michael Voris. He has taken the outcome hard. Now he declares that the four pillars of his worldview — America, the Military, Notre Dame, and the Church — have been shattered. His hate group, the Church Militant will persevere, but he’s fighting a rear-guard action while playing Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” as we slide down the slippery (lubricated with gay lube and the blood of babies) slope to Hell, all because the Republicans failed to take the senate this time.

[cue Sad Trombone and teeny-tiny violin]

Look on the bright side, Michael. He announced a while back that he’d lived the wild life in his thirties, and made a public confession.

Whatever the matter, I will now reveal that for most of my years in my thirties, confused about my own sexuality, I lived a life of live-in relationships with homosexual men. From the outside, I lived the lifestyle and contributed to scandal in addition to the sexual sins. On the inside, I was deeply conflicted about all of it. In a large portion of my twenties, I also had frequent sexual liaisons with both adult men and adult women.

He consecrated specifically my chastity to Our Blessed Mother. Well, there’s no point to that anymore, America is dead, the military is full of liberals, Notre Dame has become theologically insane, and the church is corrupt, so get out there and party like a mad man!


  1. says

    Because he couldn’t handle being gay he’s going to try to make all sorts of people unhappy. I suspect this will include someone he gets romantically involved with, then treats horribly because they made him “sin.”

  2. cartomancer says

    It always irks me when homophobic bigots and arseholes end up having more of a gay sex life than I do. By which I mean have a sex life at all. One more point of evidence against the theory that there is a god who loves us and wants us to be happy.

  3. whywhywhy says

    How many people comprise the Church Militant?
    I always envisioned it as at most 5 folks setup in a basement located in one of the Detroit suburbs.

    Having grown up in Michigan and having gone to 12 year so Catholic school, I can attest that it is not hard to find a bunch of religious loonies. Which makes the election results in Michigan from this past week all the more impressive : )

  4. whywhywhy says

    I just watched the video. Two quick comments
    1. Michael Voris, S.T.D.: first thought was sexually transmitted disease.
    2. Watching clips of Fox News describing candidate and then President Biden make me like Biden more and made me wish Biden was actually the person they were describing. This video makes me feel much better about the recent election.

  5. says

    Well, this poor sod’s slide is gonna be even more painful because blood is a lousy lubricant.

    He “consecrated specifically my chastity to Our Blessed Mother.”

    That’s like giving your mom flowers that you’d already given to someone else. Not sure Our Blessed Mother is gonna be impressed by that.

  6. birgerjohansson says

    Having grown up with the very mild Swedish State Church in a very secular society both catholicism and evangelical Christianity look …odd, almost creepy to me.
    One is about guilt, and about wafers literally being meat from a human being who died 2000 years ago. Also, even more guilt (self-flagellation still practised by sects).
    The other is about evil spirits literally messing with your mind, and/or glossolalia with people spouting random noise. Dancing with rattlesnakes being optional.
    Animists seem much more straightforward (and trickster deities like Coyote are cool).

  7. Tethys says

    Funny, I’m a couple years younger than this dude with a cow pat on his head, yet I don’t remember 1976 as anything but nationalistic hype and nonsense, although the fireworks were quite spectacular. The commemorative Wheaties boxes, syrup bottles, and hideous patriotic ‘fashion’ of flag clothing didn’t erase the napalm, national shame, or Nixon.

    I don’t remember a ballot initiative where we voted to ban patriotism, the military, church, Notre Dame, and America itself. (Also banned, sports ball and national anthems at sports ball games.. the dastardly villains)
    Seems democratic to me, but what do I know?
    Obviously voting is what destroyed all those things, and now I don’t exist. Whoops!!

  8. says

    I will now reveal that for most of my years in my thirties, confused about my own sexuality, I lived a life of live-in relationships with homosexual men.

    How does this indicate he was confused? It seems he knew exactly what he wanted. And it looks like Voris continues to be cocksure.

  9. gijoel says

    @11 Tethys This is a guy who said America should be ruled by a Catholic monarch. So I’m guessing he’s not a big fan of democracy to begin with.