The Giuliani crime family is doing their best to convince me that lizard people exist

I’m not saying David Icke was right, but Rudy’s son Andrew is running for governor of New York, and he too is something of a sick freak. Would you believe he’s talking about his baby daughter here?

She “made a promise to me on the first day, right? My wife was sleeping, and I’m holding her [my daughter] in my arms. And I get emotional thinking about it, but she made a promise with me. She shook my hand and I said, ‘I’m the only boyfriend till you’re 25 years old, shake hands.’

“Shook my hand. So I have changed the diapers. I have looked under the hood. She’s a woman. I’m gonna be the last guy in a long time that looks under the hood right there. But guess what? She was born a woman and she’s gonna stay a woman, it’s that simple.”

A spokesperson for Andrew Giuliani told The Daily Beast, “while Andrew does not claim to be a biologist, he can tell the difference between a male and a female.”

So he’s possessive and controlling — I hate to break the news to you, Andy ol’ boy, but in less than 16 years she’s going to be talking about boys (or maybe girls) with her friends, and pining for a prom date who isn’t her creepy old man. At some point, she’s also going to get on the internet and discover her dad was talking about peeking “under the hood” when she was 4 months old — or worse, her peers at school learn this — and you will learn about the revenge of a daughter you’ve made cringe.


  1. says

    Also “(or maybe girls)” yeah, first thing that popped into my mind. She could grow up and never want a boyfriend. She could decide she’s ace or non-binary too. She could opt to identify as a boy. She’s four months old. This sick bastard has decided to control her sexuality until she’s almost 30. This is the attitude that drives queer teens to commit suicide. The blatant disregard of nonheteronormative people makes me sick.

    In all likelihood she will be a normal cis/het girl when she hits puberty, but her dad is a controlling maniac. I hope her and her mom get away from him before he can do more damage.

  2. Matt G says

    The LAST people who should be plugging “purity culture” [gag] are the members of this family….

  3. angoratrilobite says

    That is just so disgusting. Why is it always the purity culture types that are so gross?

  4. raven says

    …but she made a promise with me. She shook my hand and I said, ‘I’m the only boyfriend till you’re 25 years old, shake hands.’

    Creepy jerk is right.
    This guy should never have reproduced because he has a very toxic personality. Like his father.

    This girl is 4 months old. She didn’t promise him anything. She isn’t even remotely capable of it.
    She is legally an adult at age 18. I’m sure by that age or even before, she is out, gone, and away from these creeps, even if it is only mentally.

  5. Akira MacKenzie says

    “while Andrew does not claim to be a biologist, he can tell the difference between a male and a female.”

    Of course, true to the current right-wing electoral playbook, they had to get in the non sequitur transphobia.

  6. =8)-DX says

    On the one hand you’d expect a father to have changed a nappy a few more times than once, on the other hand, oh noe why is he being so creepy about it, god damn it keep this dude away from children or power ew.

  7. Akira MacKenzie says

    Also, this is Purity Culture dog-whistling, pure and simple. I know upstate NY can get downright rednecky, but I didn’t think there are enough Bible-humpers in New England to justify pandering to them.

  8. PaulBC says

    Is certain “looking under the hood” is enough? I thought gender essentialists required a karyotype to be sure.

  9. says

    He looked under the hood? What is this, “My Daughter, The Car?”
    …don’t say it again, don’t say it again…
    Does he really believe “she made a promise?” And that “she’s a woman?”
    Ugh. Definitely not a biologist–he doesn’t seem to know a baby from an adult.
    Again, Ugh. Also, ish. And ewwww.

  10. Akira MacKenzie says

    I’m sorry, a “handshake?” Your daughter’s skull hasn’t even hardened yet. How can she consent to your ridiculous sexual paternalism before she’s able to understand what a hand is, much less a handshake?

  11. says

    Expecting to contract with a minor in a way that will hold up into adulthood, even in a less-Christianist/misogynistic-creep context, seems spectacularly stupid. But this?

    Preening about strong-arming an infant. The adults in the rooms-to-come won’t be so passive.

  12. raven says

    What the AF did I just read?!

    Some very creepy trash from a guy who should be under the supervision of adults. Especially Child Protective Services.

    Would anyone sane let Andrew Guiliani be around children after reading that?
    Or even adults, after reading that.

  13. unclefrogy says

    well I guess that proves the old adage “the acorn does not fall very far from the tree”

  14. wzrd1 says

    I find it fascinating that he thinks that a neonate can agree to binding contractual agreements, which is entirely counter to our entire legal case law history!
    Does he also think that she could agree to betrothal at that moment of her first day of respiration of ambient air?
    For that matter, does he think or is he even capable of independent thought?

    Whenever I see Giuliani, now either of them, I think “faccia di un bruto”. Although I am somewhat torn between bestia and bruto…