I’m getting my booster this morning, and apparently I have much to look forward to


I thought I’d just be getting further protection against a nasty virus, but no…I’m about to become an explorer in the further regions of experience.

Yes, yes, yes! I will gladly become a host to the next stage of our evolution. Fill me up with those sweet exotic alien eggs — I hear the high is incredible.

Whoa, 2.3mm? How big is the needle they are going to use? They might want to inject that IP rather than IM. Or maybe it’s written by some stupid American who has no concept of what millimeters are. Likewise, they seem obsessed with graphene oxide, unaware of how little of this material (it’s used as a carrier for biomolecules and an adjuvant) is actually present in the vaccine. It’s certainly not enough to feed my growing population of macro-sized aluminum-based tripod aliens. Where am I going to get enough graphene oxide to fuel my transformation?

If you’re worried that you might miss out on the alien occupation, don’t. I get my shot at 10:45, and then I plan to wander the streets, infecting random passers-by, strutting about with my new tripod gait — it’ll be a relief, bipedalism is such a downer when one of your legs is crippled up — and touching the community with my shiny new metallic ovipositor.

Come, meld with us, become one with the aliens, and welcome our new millimeters long overlords.

Comments

  1. Akira MacKenzie says

    I can’t even laugh at this nonsense anymore. It’s not funny. It’s depressing and scary that these slime have ANY influence on society and THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO TO SILENCE AND PUNISH THEM!

    It’s already 8:30 AM and I want to be drunk.

  2. weylguy says

    These conspiracy theories are so ridiculous that it makes one wonder why their creators can’t come up with something at least a tad more plausible. But I suppose they’ve realized that their believers will fall for anything, so why not shoot for the moon.

    Could it be that decades of environmental contamination and binge eating of heavily processed foods have collectively damaged American minds? Could I be wrong that 20 to 30 percent of Americans aren’t just crazy, they’ve been permanently mentally and genetically damaged? I was struck by the apparent correctness of the movies Wag the Dog (1996) and Idiocracy (2006), but today we have conservative idiots wagging the elephant.

  3. raven says

    Fact Check-COVID-19 vaccines do not contain graphene oxide https://www.reuters.com › article › fact-check-covid-19…

    Jul 23, 2021 — He said the vial was purported to contain a dose of the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine but said it had come to him by a messenger service and …

    Sorry to disappoint PZ, but the Covid-19 virus vaccines do not contain graphene oxide.

    The whole rest of that fairy tale about tripodal aliens falls apart because of this fact.
    Well that plus every single sentence is imaginary and wrong.

    Besides which this would never work. The multi-tentacled hydra creatures in the vaccines would simply eat any aliens that got in there.

  4. raven says

    OT but related.
    Be nice to your vaccine providers. In some places, they get harassed a lot, verbally abused a lot, and sometimes physically attacked these days.
    The oogedy boogedy xians are being forced by mandates to get vaccinated to keep their jobs, and they take out their hate and fear on the person administering the shot.

    The latest trends in the pandemic are fundie xians/right wingnuts attacking health care workers. It’s happening everywhere and these attacks can be serious. One health care worker was stabbed outside the hospital, two vaccine providers were hit by a car, and a pharmacist administering vaccines was shot and killed.

    The other trend are more antivaxxers dying at home. Some of these are buying into the lies that hospitals are deliberately killing Covid-19 patients and avoiding them. With predictable results.

    Health care workers cite harassment as cause for burnout
    by Allison Mechanic, KATU StaffWednesday, November 17th 2021

    “In the early months of the pandemic we heard people at night banging pots and pans on their front porches to thank essential workers, including health care workers. Now, due to factors that I have trouble wrapping my head around, we have physicians that have been spit on or yelled at for just asking a patient about their COVID-19 vaccines,” said Dresser.
    “We have had a physician who had their tires slashed and on multiple occasions workers are getting harassed on their walk to the hospital to care for community members. This leads to more burnout, more anxiety and a real need for us all to address this and make sure we support this fragile workforce.”

  5. drickard says

    Dammit! I got a booster ca. 3 weeks ago and all I got was a day of the blahs and resistance to the disease…

  6. whheydt says

    I got my booster last Friday, along with the annual flu shot. No reaction at all, to either of them.

  7. weylguy says

    Myers’ comment about Americans’ ignorance regarding size is more evidence of our stupidity and credulity. Most people don’t know the difference between a millimeter and a nanometer, much less a solar system and a galaxy. That’s also why they think that wealthy morons paying to fly up a hundred miles via SpaceX is “space travel.”

    As many have said, ignorance is fixable, but stupidity is forever. Beware the 2022 and 2024 elections.

  8. says

    If Rule #34 is “If it exists there is a porn of it”, then Rule #35 must be that “if there’s a conspiracy theory, then someone is dumb enough to believe it”.

  9. says

    @#8, Ray Ceeya:

    Sure. And Rule #36 is “no matter how cruel or evil or blatantly self-defeating an idea is, there is a right-winger who seriously wants to implement it as policy”, with Rule #37 being “and there is a self-proclaimed centrist who will help them”, and Rule #38 following up with “and, given the chance, the Democratic Party will actively back the centrist from Rule #37 over anybody else”.

  10. davidc1 says

    You can mock all you like Doc .but if them alien critters had eight legs instead of three ,you would be abeating
    down the doors of the medical facility .
    @2 Nope ,I posted a few weeks ago about America being cursed by a native witch Doctor ,it’s the only possible explanation .

  11. dorght says

    Well damn wish I had known this before I got my booster today.
    Not that I wouldn’t have got it, I would have just found it way more entertaining. Will the xenomorph burst from my belly in a couple weeks, or just extrude tendrils into my nervous system to take control? I think I’m feeling the tingling already.

  12. ajbjasus says

    Pfizer booster yesterday.

    Sore arm, bit of joint pain and inflammation over night, a Solopadeine or 2 and taking it easy today, and job done.

  13. jrkrideau says

    Could it be that decades of environmental contamination and binge eating of heavily processed foods have collectively damaged American minds?

    Probably not. People in the USA have been conspiracy- prone, basically since the founding of the Republic. Back in, IIRC, 1850’s the Jesuits were plotting to take over the country for the Austrio-Hungarian Emperor. A bit before that parts of New England were panicked by the threat of the Illumnati. “Remember The Maine” and God bless Sen Joe McCarthy and so on.

    These new conspiracy theories are simply carrying on a long tradition.

  14. starsend42b says

    Ugh! Is there NOTHING these people won’t believe? I agree with Akira MacKenzie, I can’t laugh anymore. I work in Forensics. I have two co-workers who are trying to finagle a religious exemption for the vaccine. I KNOW at least one of these two people is just trying to get out of getting the vaccine for purely political reasons, and the other I had previously credited with being more intelligent than she apparently is. I have to work with these people, share office space with them. I am so angry with them for endangering themselves, their families, their co-workers, friends, strangers….I have one co-worker who has said he is relying on the rest of us to get the vaccine, but he won’t. I have another, who I thought was reasonably intelligent, having concerns about the vaccine changing his DNA. We have older people working in our office, we have people who are recovering from cancer surgery, and many others with various health issues. Those who haven’t gotten the vaccine are ALL Republicans. Every. Last. Stupid. One. Of. Them. How am I supposed to go back to in person office life and have ANY respect for these people?!?! I am LIVID.

  15. landdownunder says

    If you think that is whacky, go the that beforeitnews website. With the level of loon-acy there I become pessimistic that we will ever be able to solve global warming or any other significant problem for that matter. Depressing

  16. unclefrogy says

    @13
    yes I understand that but that does no reassure me , nor fill me with any confidence that we will escape any of the problems facing us without enduring very many of the negative effects.
    it is a hard road and a long one ahead and we seem to be trying to take short cuts, which have never been anything but longer and more difficult then just facing them head on and acting according. that is how it has always worked out for me personally

  17. says

    as a polish scientist with 1 of the papers published containing graphene oxide research (funny how this world is small) I must say I didn’t heard anything about that here….
    and our goebbels-like state run TV would definitely talk about such groundbreaking research

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