They found a way to end atheism!


Today is the day of the Global Prayer to End Atheism, so I checked their website this morning to prepare. You know, I wanted some warning before I wink out of existence, or my brain is erased, or whatever.

I discovered that their prayer page has ceased to exist and is no longer available.

There is the possibility that their prayer had the reverse effect, and God reached out and smote them all for their temerity, which would be nice, and if true, would actually persuade me that some kind of deity existed (or, possibly, Mark Zuckerberg, who is more of a malignant evil).

The most likely explanation, though, is that their strategy to end atheism is to firmly close their eyes and stop up their ears and sing “la la la la la” until we go away, which has always been their go-to method.

Comments

  1. raven says

    There is the possibility that their prayer had the reverse effect, …

    It’s more likely that a Wiccan took their web page down with a magic spell.

    Or a few Pagans decided they didn’t want yet again, another xian ruining their day.

  2. birgerjohansson says

    Raven @ 2
    They gathered all their chi in one finger, pointed it at the evangelists and vaporized them in a single blast.

  3. snarkrates says

    So, would these guys be considered false profits now?

    Asking for a friend who has a metric fuckton of rocks he pulled out of he garden this season.

  4. Akira MacKenzie says

    I discovered that their prayer page has ceased to exist and is no longer available.

    Maybe someone at FB figured out that calling for the supernatural elimination of a group of people probably violated their terms of service.

  5. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin has been keeping on eye on her cheese (mostly) plus also DARN (Deep Atheist Radiating Network) and PEWW (Planetary Emergency Woo Woo) monitoring networks. Sofar, the only thing out-of-normal is she’s not eating the cheese as rapidly as usual. There’s no change in either A-rays or E-rays (Atheist- and Eejit-, respectively), albeit the excessively dim spots in the latter which are teh alleged-“Seantor” Rand Paul, and teh alleged-“Governors” DeSanity (both the Florida and Texas models), tends to distrupt the signal, rather like a black hole. (A-rays, of course, are always at absolute nil, since there is no such thing (A-rays, that is) — it’s a useful control.)

  6. Reginald Selkirk says

    The most likely explanation, though, is that their strategy to end atheism is to firmly close their eyes and stop up their ears and sing “la la la la la” until we go away, which has always been their go-to method.

    Well, since the burning at the stake thing was outlawed.

  7. birgerjohansson says

    Akira MacKenzie @ 6

    Jehova stands no chance against Perfect Cell. Both are destructive but Cell never cheats.
    I would put Jehowa at the same level as Freeza, the sadistic space emperor.

  8. birgerjohansson says

    blf @ 7
    Neutron stars sometimes collapse below the Rand Paul radius, leaving a hole into nothingness.
    Such events release a pulse of neutrinos, who quite aptly are irrelevant to everything.

  9. Mario Romero says

    When I logged on that page a week ago, I noticed that the comment section was bursting of atheists laughing and mocking the idea. (I contributed a bit, to my dismay) so, most probably they decided to erase it and work on some other stuff, like bulling teh gays or something…

  10. snarkrates says

    @10 “Such events release a pulse of neutrinos, who quite aptly are irrelevant to everything.”
    OK, I know you are kidding, but if you were in the vicinity of a star collapsing into a neutron star, the thing that would likely kill you would be the neutrinos! They manage to escape the star’s surface first, and there are enough of them that they would kill you.

  11. davidc1 says

    Found this on their faceache page .

    Say No To AtheismGlobal prayer to end atheism
    tSpoans1thoSred ·
    Please stop messaging me saying the prayer didn’t work. It hasn’t even happened yet.
    Here’s a tip: learn to read the time of an event before running your mouth

    It would take someone with a heart of stone not to mock these fools .

  12. ORigel says

    Captain Cassidy of Roll to Disbelieve thinks the site the Global Prayer to End Atheism came from is a Poe website.

  13. blf says

    A few screenshots suggest teh woo-wooing begins at 1pm CDT, which would be 1800 UTC, or about ten minutes from now as I type. I’ve opened a bag of crisps…

    The mildly deranged penguin says all quiet on DARN and PEWW (see @7), and there’s no cheese dip for my crisps.

  14. blf says

    @18, It’s been underway for around 45 minutes now as I type. Still nothing on DARN and PEWW, and many crisps (see @17) are gone…

  15. robro says

    And in more apocalyptic news, tomorrow is the day! According to the Pillow Man, the “former guy” will be reinstated tomorrow.

  16. blf says

    @20, Yeah, his current cyber symposium bouncy castle fun fair in S.Dakota was attacking by invisible anti-fa who stole all those terrabytes of data, also attacked him (according to him), and his $5 million reward for proving his data was wrong has also vanished, just as his own faux-expert denied the data was genuine. That alleged-expert, known as “Spyder”, was previously Sidney Powell’s military intelligence expert claiming the election was stolen, yet who never passed any of the Army’s requisite courses. The source of the data is a notorious con artist who previously sold, for $20 million, alleged-technology decoding secret al-Qaeda messages in Al  Jazeera broadcasts. That technology (and claim) was as bogus as Lindell’s data.

    (I am not making any of this up !)

  17. says

    Now, now. As I write this, they still have about 13½ hours to go before August 12th is officially over everywhere on the planet. Who knows? Maybe when it’s 11:59:59 PM on Baker Island, we’ll all vanish. Or maybe it takes effect after a whole 24 hours of prayer, in which case there’s still about an hour and a half to go before UTC reaches the tipping point. Either way, celebrations and mockery are technically premature.

  18. birgerjohansson says

    OT A roundabout blow to a religious patriatchy that sees the wife and children as the extentions of the father/husband :
    Britney Spears is finally free of her father.

    And the publicity has started a healthy debate about the protection of people who for some reason have a legal guardian or whatever it is called in Merica.

  19. bcw bcw says

    They probably got into a doctrinal argument about the wording of the prayer and split into five different warring groups trying to wipe out the other infidels with the blasphemous prayers.

  20. bcw bcw says

    Also, the great countdown begins!
    Tomorrow the 13th is the day Biden is forced to resign and DONALD TRUMP IS RESTORED TO THE PRESIDENCY,

    at least according to Mike Lindell and QAnon.

  21. kestrel says

    Wasn’t there some sort of move against this, where all the atheists would present a middle finger to rid the world of christianity? Seems I read that somewhere or other.

    @#20 and #27: Yes, because Mike Lindell has never been wrong before! (And yet somehow nothing he says ever seems to amount to much.) @#21, Amazing. I suppose it is job security for comedians.

  22. birgerjohansson says

    In Brazil the evangelical gospel singer and priest turned politician Flordelis de Souza has lost her seat in the Brazilian parliament because of suspicion she ordered the shooting* of her husband.
    It looks the was not content with praying he would die.
    * 30 bullets, no less. Between her and Bolsonaro, Brazilian conservatives really take things to eleven.

  23. StonedRanger says

    Well crap, and I thought Id finally found a way to beat this triple digit heat. But wouldnt you know it, the dadburn christers did not come through again. Like I needed more proof prayer doesnt work. One more day of this heat is about enough.

  24. blf says

    In the (now, as I type) over 25 hours since the start, neither the DARN nor PEWW monitoring networks have registered anything. The mildly deranged penguin has gone though a lot of cheese, and I still have some crisps left, and the closest bar has a live band playing music I rather suspect the prayeristas would not approve of…

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