Maybe they mistook him for Thor

Luke Alvin Oeltjenbruns, a Minnesota man, got very upset when a Menards employee told him he had to wear a mask in the store, so Luke Alvin Oeltjenbruns smacked him with a piece of lumber and then fled the store.

He was not shot.

A policeman stopped Luke Alvin Oeltjenbruns and was talking, not shooting him, through the driver’s side window, so Luke Alvin Oeltjenbruns grabbed his arm, rolled up the window, and dragged him down the road.

He was not shot.

Luke Alvin Oeltjenbruns then took a hammer and hit the policeman in the head.

He was not shot.

The police eventually stopped Luke Alvin Oeltjenbruns and dragged his sorry ass off to jail. He wasn’t even tased!

I would like to commend the Hutchinson police department for their proper forbearance in the face of extreme provocation. That’s how it should always be done, even for people who don’t act like they’re the god of thunder. Yes, he’s white.

I wonder what would have happened if he’d looked like Heimdall?


  1. birgerjohansson says

    That is a nice gammon-like nuance of skin color. Are you sure he isn’t British? I even know some Swedish “gentlemen” who mimic him in appearence and conduct.

  2. kome says

    Doesn’t even need to look like Heimdall. Looking like an unarmed 13-year-old brown kid is sufficient, it seems. If you don’t look white, you’re not getting treated with a drop of respect or consideration by law enforcement.

  3. jrkrideau says

    Apparently Hutchinson, Minnesota has a population of ~14,000. It could be the police know him and he is the Chief’s cousin.