Racist statues explained

I understand why people commission racist statues — they’re racists. But who is making them? This little video explains what’s going on. Racist statues incorporate planned obsolescence and aren’t built for the ages! They’re like computers that way.

Maybe we should start tearing down all statues, to give sculptors something to do.


  1. wajim says

    Crap, what’s this guy’s address? ‘Cause my recently deceased racist mother was cremated and dumped into the Clearwater River in Idaho and I’ve got nothing to piss on. Wait, um, was that too harsh? Ah, no.

  2. flange says

    I like this guy.
    Most famous figures’ personae range from good to execrable.
    Given the capriciousness of history, building a monument to any famous person is asking to have it torn down eventually. There’s nothing more satisfying or funny than watching the destruction of an inanimate stand-in for someone you hate.

  3. prfesser says

    I don’t know, folks; I think we need more racist statues and/or commemorative plaques. New ones, for today’s racists. Lots of ’em. Tear up a mile or so of sidewalk near 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, replace with granite posted as “The Official United States Walk of Racist Shame” (think “Hollywood Walk of Fame”).
    On each semiannual election day ballot would be a section for “20xx Racist Vote.” The voter writes in his/her favorite choice for that years’ racist. The winner gets his/her name, image, and claim-to-fame engraved on a plaque at the base of a bust of the winner, at eye level for easy viewing, set beside the Walk of Racist Shame. First runner up: name, face, (appropriate background image needed; back half of a horse, perhaps?) on a granite slab, suitable for walking on.

    This year’s winner would undoubtedly be President Chief Cheetohead Tweety. First runner-up might be a difficult choice, but I’d vote for Mr. Old-Age Mutant Racist Turtlehead.

    A winner who is a public “servant” has the costs of construction, installation, and annual maintenance deducted from his/her salary/ pension.

    Spitting on the sidewalk or bust is encouraged.