1. Ragutis says

    I always thought that the Golgafrinchans simply quarantined us, but that idea makes sense as well. Reason #42 to forbid seismic airgun surveying.

  2. Callinectes says

    Which would mean, in the event of aliens actually showing up, our role becomes the Great Old One’s jailers. The Star-Spawn of Cthulhu will not come in peace.

  3. Kaintukee Bob says

    Nah, nobody communicates with us because they understand our psychology too well.

    Humans (in general) when they see a new animal tend to have one of two thoughts: “Does it taste good” and “Can I fuck it”.

    The answers (to both) in the alien’s cases is likely, “Yes, but you might die”

    In short, we do not make good neighbors.

  4. consciousness razor says

    But if you’re going to be eaten first, Cthulhu would probably get some kind of crazy disease, which he’d want to avoid, so he wouldn’t do that, which is why the aliens wouldn’t know about him, which is why they would come here, but they might get some kind of crazy disease that they’d want to avoid, so they won’t, which is why you wouldn’t know about them….

  5. says

    In other words, this whole planet is The One Ring, and that’s why there are so many absolutely shitty people – evil eldritch magicks driving them insane!

  6. jrkrideau says

    Not that I can remember the name ( I thought it was Frymaman or whatever) but I always thought of the Monazuma response.
    “White-skinned men in big wooden boats?”

  7. Richard Smith says

    The theory that aliens want to keep the great old ones imprisoned on Earth is known as the Fermi-LaPorte hypothesis.

  8. Artor says

    Hey PZ. Knowing your newfound love for spiders, let me direct you to the world’s foremost authority on the Bolas spider, Ze Frank.

  9. John Morales says

    Nah — doesn’t work on its own terms.

    The GOOs are “someone else”, so if they’re imprisoned here, here they are.

  10. KG says

    I fear there’s all too much evidence the GOOs are now wide awake and have installed their nominees in the White House and the Kremlin.

  11. lakitha tolbert says

    4 Kaintukee Bob:

    You should add the third option of ,”Can I kill It?”
    Especially if the answer to the first two questions is No.

  12. lanir says

    It’s okay. When the Great Old Ones finally wake up and notice us here they’ll be quite disturbed (amidst all the eating and general annihilation going on) that their neighborhood went downhill while they were snoozing.