A caller to the Atheist Experience gives the recipe (skip ahead to 17:20 to hear his explanation). Tracie transcribed the formula and is asking for volunteers.
The subject must do the following:
1. State, “Jesus Christ, if you’re real, come show me that you’re real.”
2. Abstain (again, for entertainment purposes, not barring you from work or necessary interactions) from internet, TV, movies, music, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, smoking, sex/masturbation/any form of sexual pleasure, for a period of 7 days.
Note: You are not required to fast, and are discouraged from doing so.
Bonus: the guy claims that seeing Jesus corrected his vision. Better than Lasik!
Warning: the guy goes on and on about his phantasmagorical hallucinations at tedious length, and doesn’t seem to understand how evidence works.
Cross-posted from the TAE blog:
Best possible response to Alex’s challenge:
CD, RRFFoD & HH, I second that! I will lend you my cloak of respectability, but you’re gonna have to cut me in on the take.
I presume he means his hallucinations of Mr Carpenterson are now more vivid — perhaps with a more entertaining kaleidoscopic background.
Jesus was a barista I met in San Jose. He made ne hot chocolate. True story.
You missed out something in the recipe. You HAVE to read the bible every day for those 7 days. Personally, reading the bible was a major reason I became an atheist.
I also got the feeling the caller was someone who has recited this “testimony” many times to gullible Christians, and gotten lots of praise for it. He got very hostile when the hosts did not shower him with praise, and were skeptical about his claims.
I thought you just had to find the right dog, and view it from the rear.
@Raucus:
I’ll need an archbishop for each nation, where should I assign you? (Note: it has to be a country where you speak the predominant language.)
say his name three times while looking in the mirror, he will emerge from the darkness to seek revenge for his death.
works just as well with either name: “Jesus” or “Candyman”
Could you get a few friends together and all evoke the Candyman, Jesus, and whatever other mirror-portal-related creatures all at the same time, so that they do a kind of Three Stooges thing in the frame of the mirror? How about if you used a tiny mirror?
@#1 CD: Brilliant! Give my share of the tithing to the ASPCA please.
I know what will fix my vision, and it has nothing to do with Jesus. Rather, it will be done by an opthamalogist. It has to do with cataract surgery. One eye has be done and it went’ from about a -5.5 diopter correction to…zero correction. I’m hoping for the same result when the other eye gets done in a couple of months.
CD, RRFFoD & HH, the North-East US will do nicely. May I wear a giant ridiculous hat? And install a bar in my cathedral? And put in several rooms upstairs were consenting worshipers can get it on? I mean, worship!? You know, nice tastefully decorated comfortable rooms with a multitude of easy-to-clean surfaces that might welcome the throngs?
@Raucous Indignation:
Done.
But of course! 300 years from now there will be a vote on official hats. During early days, I expect as much experimentation as you might find during an 168-hour orgy.
You must, of course, use some donations to cover the basic expenses required for appropriate revelatory rituals and regular rites. Make sure your diocesan housing facilities include an appropriately spacious bedroom.
I’m not greedy. I’m a beneficent god. We can start with splitting money half-and-half with the local diocese. When congregations get large enough, expenses might rise & I can look into paying certain expenses before the split.
Throngs, thongs, dongs: The Crip Dyke welcomes all.
Did anyone else notice the claim about vision correction and start humming Tim Minchin’s song about the “omnipotent ophthalmologist” from back in 2013?
@11: Best of luck with that!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me for Australia! After a decade I speak fairdinkum ‘Strine, I already barrack for the righteous team, and am ready to bring the sexy word to the cockies, gahlas, and even the bogans of this girt and sunburnt land.
@sparks, #10:
Done.
Err, that would only figuratively kill me.
Re: sparks @ #15…
Thanks. Need I say that I expect vastly better results than I would get prayer or any other form of woo? I am really very, very happy about the way cataract surgery has progressed since my father had it around 1970. He wound up wearing contacts and reading glasses. I may–probably will–need reading glasses, but nothing otherwise. Makes one wonder what the situation will be when the time comes for my kids….
Tim Minchin has an amusing take on the eyesight claim:
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mom!
(skip to 5:20 to see the actual song, but the lead-up routine is pretty good)
Yeah, that’s what happens when you give up drinking Drano for a week.
I’m happy to give that a go, i’m already halfway there. it sounds like a nice week. I need access to the internet for my work, so i’ll need the caller to pay my expenses for that week (i’ll pay them back if i see jesus). since i’m getting paid i’ll even read the bible for an hour a day.
also it will have to wait until spring when there is better cycling weather.
“Abstain any form of sexual pleasure, for a period of 7 days”
Brilliant! Pooping and urinating are also forms of sexual pleasure and who’s going to abstain from them for 7 days?
Accidentally or intentionally, you basically hit upon the main objection that Tracie raised during that call. The way this guy structured his experiment, any failure to see Jesus can be explained away: You must have experienced sexual pleasure during the week. You must have not had the right intention in your heart. You must have done something wrong along the way.
@FossilFishy:
You have proved your mastery of the Australian dialect. May you enjoy your diocesan privileges for years to come.
Why does that remind me of Donald Pleasence in ‘The Great Escape’?