I haven’t ever fantasized about this

Good morning! I know you all love to wake up to stories about exotic sexual fetishes, so here you go.

The idea is to replicate the act of being impregnated with eggs. Usually from an alien or insect. If you’ve seen the Aliens movies, you’ll get the picture. Many people find this sort of thing very arousing. The toys are simply phallic-shaped hollow tubes that can be used to insert gelatin eggs into oneself. There is a funnel-shaped hole in the bottom to receive the eggs, which are inserted one by one, forcing them up the tube and out the top.

There’s a video so you can see how it works.

OK, being injected with parasites isn’t one of my turn-ons, but hey, if that’s your thing, now you know where to go.

However, I’m concerned by the maker’s cavalier attitude towards infection.

We are not doctors, and we’re not about to comment on what is safe or unsafe to do to one’s body as it varies from person to person. I can say that I have used them many times without hurting myself, but frankly it is up to the person using it to know their own limits. For instance, if you are allergic to gelatin. If made properly, the eggs are firm, but rubbery, similar to the consistency of gummy bears. They dissolve with body heat rather quickly.

I have made gelatin plates many, many times, and while they’re nice and cushiony for embryos, they are also pure protein and a delicious medium for growing bacteria and fungi. Mmmm, carbon and nitrogen in an easily digestible form. Talk to a microbiologist — there ought to be serious concerns about the sterility of that lovely growth medium you’re stuffing up your whereevers.


  1. jrkrideau says

    Silly me. I thought having some insect inject eggs into one’s body often resulted in really nasty diseases, disfiguration, mutilation, and other exciting things.

    I think I’l give this one a miss.

  2. Artor says

    Clearly, this should be used with Gwyneth Paltrow’s jade eggs instead. Along with a paralytic in the lubricant so you get the full effect of being impregnated with a parasite’s offspring.
    ZOMG, it all makes sense suddenly! Gwyneth Paltrow is a cleverly disguised parasitic wasp!

  3. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    To quote the late great Smoggy Batzrubble: “Oh, Lord, why do we have fetishes and why are mine so messy?”

    I miss Smoggy

  4. leerudolph says

    Artor, I assume Jen Gunter will be on this case shortly (if she’s not already).

  5. Pierce R. Butler says

    Never mind our esteemed host’s alleged non-fantasies – what does the BIBLE say?

  6. DonDueed says

    If this is the new improved splorch, what was wrong with the old splorch? (Asking for a friend.)

  7. lumipuna says

    I already thought the jade eggs were a) damn pretty looking b) potentially great for egglaying/egg insertion play, but only if they were actually made of body-safe glass rather than jade.

  8. komarov says

    I’m mildly disappointed that the follow-up videos are age restricted, and mildly disturbed that some follow-up suggestions are about the “lifestyle” of rich people. Point in case, their “amazing” homes, featuring Elon Musk in the teaser image. I’m not entirely convinced this is an error on the part of the underlying algorithm, either.

  9. vucodlak says

    Now I’m a little curious to see what sort of rigs (soft) vore enthusiasts have cooked up. It wouldn’t be impossible to rig up a giant mouth, esophagus, and stomach to swallow one whole, but I’m not sure anyone has actually done it (convincingly).

    Might even be kind of a fun ride, except for the end.

  10. Curious Digressions says

    That’s how you get ants. Do you want ants in your [redacted]?

  11. vucodlak says

    @ Curious Digressions, #16

    That’s a different fetish, although I suspect there’s some overlap. So the answer to that question is “quite possibly.”

  12. says

    Isn’t there some law that states “Any kink you can imagine, no matter how bizarre, as soon as you think of it, you’ll be able to find 5 websites devoted to it?

  13. Gregory Greenwood says

    And this is why the Xenomorphs had to apply for restraining orders against humanity…

  14. Tethys says

    My first thoughts were also gelatin –> bacterial culture —> nope. I also have a great fondness for Ichneumon wasps, but being a paralyzed, yet very much alive host and food combination for alien larvae sounds pretty much the opposite of sexy fun times. YMMV.