First thing when I landed at SeaTac: it started raining, as I’d hoped.
Second thing at the airport: we were taking a shuttle bus, and this guy started talking at his friend. I learned many things.
It’s obvious that cell phones cause cancer. They radiate energy. Energy causes cancer. QED.
The only reason we don’t have proof is that all us old guys use them sparingly. Just wait: a few more years, and all those kids going around with phones glued to their head will be getting brain cancer! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
The best part: he got sort of quantitative. At low energies, they don’t cause cancer, but as the power goes up, the cancer-causing effects go up exponentially. Therefore, don’t use your cell phone when you got 4 or 5 bars! That’s when they’re most dangerous!
I’m imagining this guy wandering through life, using his cell phone to avoid places with “high energy radiofrequencies”, and refusing to take calls unless he’s got a perfect medium strength signal.
There is woo in Seattle, I can testify.