Read and weep. Answers in Genesis has a voluminous line of crap books, and a significant chunk of it consists of propaganda for kids. Joe Csonka reviews Dinosaurs of Eden, by Ken Ham, with scans of the contents.
You knew that, according to AiG mythology, dinosaurs lived with Adam and Eve, and were vegetarians, right?
There’s more at the link. There’s threat of more to come. Let the groaning commence.
ugh. Dinosaur Train (on PBS) is more scientifically accurate, and those dinosaurs talk.
The Stupid…the Stupid…
Oh DOG, the STUPID!!! It HUUURRRTS!!!
What the hell…
Oho! So it was dinosaurs what ate the apple, then they go blame it on the woman. Assholes.
Deinochyous was feathered. -100 points.
Ok, dinosaurs co-existing with people I can deal with, but dinosaurs co-existing with monocots and dicots??? That cannot stand!
WERE YOU THERE, KEN HAM?
Just goes to show you, if these godbotters couldn’t indoctrinate innocent and trusting children, the religion would die quickly. It really says something when religion can best be propagated by lying to children. And that something is “religion is false”.
Brownian: Please collect your sniny new Internet the next time you visit TET.
So, deinonychus’ claw was originally for coring apples? Who knew!
Don’t worry, the leaders of the mainstream religions will do the right thing. They are interested only in the truth, and will definitely inform the flock that Ken Ham is selling a lie.
I’m sorry, but this has got to be a Poe. I LOLed about 2s after looking at Camp Deinonychus eating oranges, and I’m sure it took at least 3s to LOL at Raptor Jesus…
They did. Humans, no.
So, they’re busy lying about what a carnivore is vs. an herbivore. Why not? I suppose humans are “natural vegetarians,” too–nothing wrong with vegetarianism, but it’s today’s knowledge that can make it a decent diet.
Glen Davidson
David Marjanović is going to laugh at this. Then cry.
The hands of Deinonychus are so wrong I don’t even know where to start, and forget the musculature on the entire animal. The head is way too broad, and and and…
…and Ceratosaurus had claws on at most 3 fingers per hand. The rest looks like a fairly good plagiate.
Of course it can – but not for Ceratosaurus, and I’m not sure if there were already monocots in the time of Deinonychus.
They seem to have omitted the crab lice.
Were they vegetarian too, I wonder?
Enquiring minds need to know.
I can’t help but wonder who was their custodian on the ark, too.
David B
Hell, the Flintstones were a more accurate depiction of dinosaurs and they had brontoburgers!
The leaders of the mainstream religions don’t know Ken Ham fucking exists.
:-)
Neither.
HULK DO ROCKET SURGERY
I can’t stop laughing at this.
@Brownian #7
Oh, I am very sure he was THERE – with the assistance of some very strong hallucinogenic drugs.
They realize that Tisntaosaurus was from East Asia, they even put it in the description. why did they draw it in Egypt?
*groan!*
*barf!*
Okay, really, if you’re going to make a children’s book, the damned thing better look aesthetically pleasing, no matter how shitty the rest of it is. Why would you make the illustrations look like something that was shat out of the 1970s?
Everything was vegetarian, possibly raw-food vegan, before the flood.
@A.R. #21
All things considered, do you really think that HamBone really gives a flying fuck about factual accuracy?
A recent troll, going by the moniker of sixdays (Gee! What could that mean?) would approve. Because in the US, the local board has every right to use this book.
fireweaver: Of course not, but wouldn’t it be nice to see a creationist publication that got some science right?
Why are Adam and Eve so white?
This is my favorite children’s book:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyone_Poops
Do the people look like tanned Europeans, or those who would become early Middle Easterners like the Canaanites? I think I smell more revisions from reality.
Even Adam and Eve are weird. They’re caucasian and Adam has short hair and Eve’s is neatly trimmed. Did they have barber shops back then?
Nerd: Remember, everything was perfect before the flood, so Adam and Eve would have been lily white.
They can has bananas! Ray & Kirk must be tickled pink.
And gorillas invented the toothbrush? Or is that an early flute? No wonder Mozart hated flute players.
Sorry, Ham, but Dinotopia has already been done.
Chigau:
“A one-hump camel makes a one-hump poop. And a two-hump camel makes a two-hump poop. Only kidding!”
Well, I’ll concede prior to eating the Apple of Knowledge, things were perfect in Eden. But the flood was required due to the evil in the world after the banishment from Eden. Just my twenty mils.
Where’s the T-Rex husking coconuts with its big-ass teeth? I remember that one from some previous Creationist dipshittery.
Nerd: oops, meant Fall, not flood!
I like how the gorilla, which is vegetarian now, had a mouthful of spiky teeth back when everything was vegetarian. Seriously, zoom in on it. There is way more pointiness than the fighting fangs of current adult males.
I also like how the meanings of the dino names are given, when skipping that would have been less damaging to his delusion.
And I like how there is no evidence for anything at all, and how this kind of shit really hurts the credibility of Christians.
Another offering to Tpyos. I’ve made my share today.
Menyambal: Good point with the Gorilla teeth. It’s like creationists are utterly incapable of getting anything right.
Did all of those herbivores carefully check all of their food to be sure they weren’t eating insects and other wee beasties living therein?
That monkey on Adam’s back looks awfully new-worldy.
Look on the bright side: this is too ridiculous to fool any child who has ever seen the teeth of a cow, horse, sheep or other animal with a diet of leaves…
I think I get what Ken Ham is trying to say with this picture. Eve’s little pet is sick, and Eve (being the nurturing type) is giving it three big red pills. Adam who is a fun loving type yet filled with testosterone is about to give the gorilla a lesson in dominance. Adam has a tracheotomy and is going to squirt stomach contents into the gorilla’s eye. The gorilla being a savage and crude beast is warning Adam off. He is saying,”If you get your crotch any closer to me, I will do this to it.”
NO, really. That’s what’s in the picture;)
The thing is, this would be unbelievably, beautifully hilarious, if it wasn’t being pushed as the truth, to kids, thus stultifying the future generation and propagating the continuation of the damage being done to the education system.
I’m tearing my hair out thinking about the amount of remedial hours science teachers must have to spend correcting this kind of crap.
So did one of Ham’s kids draw that? You’d think that with the money they have bilked from the sheep that they could afford a better artist. I could draw that and I am a terrible artist.
Does the monkey on Adam’s back have a prehensile tail?
My heart bleeds for those poor kids – brainwashed and raised in such horribly ignorant homes. Look out, here comes the next generation!
An observation:
According to Ham and other YECs, predation arose out of the corrupting influences of “The Fall,” correct? All right, why don’t I see droves of fundigelicals forsaking the consumption of meat and becoming vegans?* In point of fact, the Bible-humpers tend to be the sorts that belittle at anyone who choses not to consume animal flesh.
*Speaking as an omnivore, this is not to be misconstrued as support for vegetarianism or veganism. I don’t take the “moral” arguments against eating flesh seriously and I won’t until I see Ingrid Newkirk and/or Peter Singer waving “MEAT IS MURDER” placards in front of a pride of hungry lions.
OK, not even then, but it would be morbidly hilarious to watch them try.
Hmm. Odd. After the opening kickoff in the bible, a couple of plays later Mr. Deity says man has dominion over all the critters. So the bit about not eating meat is just…made up and arbitrary?
OH! OH!!! I GET IT!!! I understand how to play the game now! To play the game of ‘bible’ you just pull stuff out of your ass, which may explain the aesthetics, in addition to the (un)science content, of this book.
Why is Deinonycus eating lemons?
So, Ken Ham has knowingly set out to brainwash children with books he knows are full of straightforward lies, in order to keep them ignorant and cripple their intellect.
In what respect is this person not a child abuser?
“Claws? Which claws? Oh, these claws! It’s to subdue nuts and berries. Some of these wild berries are very mean, you know.”
[paraphrasing Terry Pratchett, from memory]
That top picture is hilarious.
I mean, look at Deinonychus, with its razor sharp teeth and long dagger claws, it’s so delighted to be enjoying its meal of lemons.
What the hell were those claws supposed to be for then? Tapping out messages to each other hard surfaces? Climbing those especially tall… lemon trees?
It looks like it was drawn using Dinosaur Comics as a reference. (And that’s a Utahraptor anyway! Duh!)
Ok, that settles it. Time to write a real children’s book, with rhyme and meter and everything, to put this to shame.
Oh, wait, time to grade a huge stack of midterms. Sorry, false alarm.
Am I the only one whose first thought was that Dromaeosaurs like Deinonychus couldn’t pronate their hands like that?
Oh well. What’s a little anatomy mistake compared to the rest of this garbage?
Perhaps there’s one good thing about Ken Ham’s abuse of children. When his victims grow up they might eventually figure out Ken Ham (and the parents who allowed this brainwashing) are idiots and they will throw out the dead Jeebus.
Another one?
It’s Joe Sonka.
In HamWorld, the Ceratosaurus and the Deinonychus (and all the predatory dinosaurs) had big scary claws and razor-sharp teeth for… what purpose, exactly? Gently pulling tender juicy fruits from trees and daintily nibbling on them? This is patently ridiculous. Give me a fucking break.
Many rational people are of the opinion that Ham and other creationist ideology manufacturers like him really believe this shit. I have never believed that, although I do believe the ignorant fundie masses do believe what they are told to believe.
No, Ken Ham may believe in god and jeebus but I don’t think for a minute he believes the outlandish creationist nonsense he is peddling to both adults and young children. Ham and Co. are perpetrating fraud and deception on a massive scale, and ruining the minds of children in the process.
Whatever proceeds from ventures like the Creation Museum and donations to AiG are left over from lining the pockets of the likes of Ham are used to create garbage like this children’s book, so that the next generation gets infected with the godvirus.
Fucking zombie epidemic. Kill the brain but the body still lurches around, carrying a King James Bible, looking for more brains to kill.
@ #7 “WERE YOU THERE, KEN HAM?”
That made laugh very hard.
It’s also interesting that ‘Terrible Claw’ (memo to self, new nickname for our 20 year old incredibly crusty tabby cat) chooses to eat fruit when there are juicy, weaponless, vulnerable mammals nearby.
Arghhhh….
http://fatlip.leoweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/DSC_0004.jpg
http://fatlip.leoweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/DSC_0005.jpg
Riding dinosaurs in the desert and Arctic? I think they’re stealing their material from Star Wars.
At first I misread the one on the right as ‘Creatosaurus’ and thought they were making up their own dinosaurs now too. Well, they might as well be.
@firstapproximation #19 “Riding dinosaurs in the desert and Arctic? I think they’re stealing their material from Star Wars.”
Ha ha, indeed.
Not only are they bad at science, they’re also not engineers. That cart with Tsingtaosaurus would break with practically no effort, probably from a draft animal attempting to get it moving. There’s a reason wagon tongues were straight.
Not just any bananas either, but modern bananas, which have been genetically tweaked. That’s just chock full of anachronisms.
God made bananas. Atheists fear them.
Its probably made of Hamster-wood, like the ark.
Hamster?
Shrew?…mole?…guinea pig?…racoon?…aardvark?…
That saddled Gallimimus in ancient Egypt would have changed the world! I mean – look at it!
Stirrups!
Have you any idea the power shift that would have caused!? We’d all be talking Egyptian now, probably.
The Tsintaosaurus is my favorite. It’s from China, the cart is wrong, the harness is wrong, there’s no way to guide the animal, its tail is under the cart, and there is a`penis on its head.
Silly me. I forgot about the Hamster-wood that was as strong as steel.
Since when do gorillas eat sticks, anyway?
“Jethro, how many times do I have to tell you to keep your dang pet gorilla on your side of the fence? She done et up all of my two-by-fours again.”
A few years ago on my Stupid Dinosaur Lies website, I wrote my own book review about that dinocrap Ken Ham made up in which I regard the dinosaurs that Ham dredge up in his book and crackhouse is purely mythical in comparison with the real dinosaurs that ruled the earth millions of years ago before there were any humans on earth. Read it.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Thought it was Gopher wood?
Not to mention the horse collar on the Tsingtaosaurus that would have revolutionized farming and reduced the number of subsistence farmers, giving Egypt an economic edge as well as a military one. The Egyptians would have been unstoppable!
Mommy, what’s that monkey doing to Adam’s ear?
Now, that’s downright Ugly. With a capital Ugh!
Personally, I find it offensive, condescending and most of all, simply dishonest.
.
Religion:
Lying to children
Since who knows when.
No wonder we’re in
The mess that we’re in.
What? Now that just sounds silly!
“Japheth, gopher some wood, eh?”
Yeah. I don’t buy it.
AHEM, AHEM, AHEM!
Always assume maximum weird with the Babble.
A. R
Sometimes I wonder about your sense of humor.
chigau (√-1): Is that good or bad?
Ooh… Ooh…
Dammit.
A. R
Neither.
Just sayin’.
chigau (√-1): I’ve been told that I have a bizarre sense of humor before. :)
In case anyone wonders what a real Ceratosaurus may have looked like: Linky.
;)
Adam and Eve are white because Cain had’t killed Abel yet. Don’t you know what the “Mark of Cain” is? Jeez.
And, of course, the Deinonychus is eating fruit because there was no death until after THE FALL. That “terrible claw” must have really helped Deinonychus get at the fruit, just like they show. And those dentures Ceratosaurus sports would be especially helpful crushing those tough palm leaves.
As there was no death you couldn’t kill the plants to eat them, but it was OK to eat their leaves and fruit, which is sort of their babies. So see, eating babies was OK before THE FALL…it’s in the Bible, Ken Ham says so. But you atheists already knew it was OK to eat babies.
Don’t you love the modest depiction of Adam and Eve? So chaste and innocent. But, what’s this? Where are Adam’s eyes focused? hmmm. In Eve’s direction, but somewhere below her shoulders. Naughty boy. Sneakin’ a peak. Oh, well, boys will be boys.
Interesting. The monkey on Adams shoulder appears to be participating in a social grooming practice… But wait, does that mean Adam has lice? So there were parasites in the garden of Eden? Were lice itchy back then?
Oh where are ID apologists to backtrack and evade when you need them?!
The guy in furs with the pack dino is odd, but the migration arrows are insane. And what is that structure at the center of the world–a Mayan pyramid?
Classy black bra Eve is wearing.
Lice eat blood, skin, and other body ebris, all of which is definitely vege, and cannot survive away from their host.
Unless pre-Fall© lice survived by sucking on apple juice.
Oh wait, no not that …
Lice eat blood, skin, and other body ebris, all of which is definitely <> vege, and cannot survive away from their host.
Unless pre-Fall© lice survived by sucking on apple juice.
Oh wait, no not that …
oops – double posted.
So Submit Comment is not the same as Preview
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doh .. of course it would be … ty !!
OMGS!!!! They’ve insulted DEINONYCHUS… the dinosaur also know as the Roadrunner from Hell!!! He’d have those two humans ripped to shreds in under 10 seconds….
Jim A Pearson
USS Deinonychus
Cretaceous II Class Freetrader
Deinonychus Intergalactic Freetraders / Dragons Bones Shipyards
Alberta Canada, eh?
After a long night on the mushrooms Ken finishes his book.
I drew this a while ago as a joke. Behold, Marysaurus!
Shouldn’t naughty Deinonychus have been ejected from the garden for partaking of the knowledge of good and evil?
Those look like lemons to me. From the tree of the knowledge of sweet and sour?
If Adam and Eve were dark-haired, where do blond people come fro… ah, right from where people of color come from too, I guess.
Never mind, answered my own question.
Augh… no. Just no.
This type of shit is exactly what destroyed my love of dinosaurs and paleontology when I was a kid. This… complete unmitigated gall. This is vile, evil, and just wrong. I fucking hate Ken Ham.
According to the Book of Ham dinosaurs not only co-existed with humans but were domesticated.
Jesus Babiroussa Christ!!! Not only do they get everything fractally wrong, but they messed up the artwork as well. Seriously, those drawings are hideous.
I think Ken Ham should be congratulated on so succinctly demonstrating the utter ridiculousness of his arguments. There is no better way IMO that showing a creature clearly evolved to kill and eat meat than showing it eating a bunch of fruit from a tree.
Are there any illustrations of T-Rex peeling a banana?
Oh, c’mon. Does it always have to be all about sex around here? Can’t we have one thread that doesn’t descend into . . . .
Oh.
Nevermind.
How come there is no concern about the death of the potential trees in the seed of the fruit? (See, it really does end up being about sex.)
No death, but they have furs? Huh?
What is it with you people and sex? It’s a lying Christian children’s book and y’all make it all about sex. Get your minds out of the gutter!
And get offa my lawn!
jojo: Of course not. Remember, bananas were created to be used by primates.
What the hell is it with you people and sex? Must it always be about sex?
And I think that the Primates in the church can use altar boys and don’t have to use the bananas.
[Adds Ogvorbis to list of people who owe him various computer parts]
Did some countries fall further than others? Because where Ken Ham is from, even spiders will kill you.
Moggie: The creationists prefer to pretend that Australia doesn’t exist. You know, all of those marsupials concentrated in one place and all.
Marupials are proof of the dangers of bestiality. Let a duck, a beaver, and a weasel have sex and you get a platypus. Let a hedgehog do it with a pocketbook and you get an echidna. See, y’all really are making this all about sex.
Ogvorbis: Are you suggesting the Garrisonian theory of evolution?
No. A Christian version of why evolution is evil.
Ok, so no “buttfucking” (the central mechanism of diversification in the Garrisonian theory), just miscegenation?
The Platypus is like the thing you make out of LEGO bricks when you have only a few left in the box.
“Shit, I have a few long bricks, one of these angled windows, and a plane tail left over… I’ll make a hoverboat!”
Remember Sagan’s The Dragons of Eden and weep.
Skipping through the comments here, I don’t think anyone is getting angry enough. It has become a joke almost in the Ha Ha sense.
Would you feel that way if your own child had just attended a school outing to Ken Hams dungeon of mental abuse?
I don’t think we should accept this sort of educational abuse any more than anyone should accept a child deprived of an education or kept prisoner in a home and only fed left over’s.
Sending kids to a Nazi youth camp or Joseph Koni military training are not far off. Remove the violence from these two and you have brainwashing left.
Depriving children of an education is illegal. At least it is in most western countries. There are established education systems in all parts of the western world and now the developing world that strive to some sort of best practice. However, the USA especially, is going the other way with state sanctioned abuse. It looks more like Iran every day.
All readers of PZ’s post should be far angrier about this that the comments suggest. Yes its stupid, yes it makes Ham look like and idiot but that is to us. To kids he is a teacher, educator, and builder of awesome theme parks. To kids he is a man of knowledge and wisdom and makes the kids feel they are part of his fight for truth.
How many dictators and evil little pieces of shit throughout history started by appealing to the immature thoughts of children? Ken Ham is the creationist version of a child sexual predator. Nothing less!
But – but Ken Ham says the saddled dinosaur at the fun factory is just a cute photo opportunity – not part of the exhibits, he says – not meant to show we believe in the Flintstones.
Could it be – surely not – that Dr Dr Dr Dr (I think it’s 4 honorary PhDs now) Ken has misled us?
No – it’s those nasty evolutionists – they’ve tampered with the scientific purity of Ken’s original manuscript. That must be it, Ken would never lie to us.
@AussieMike:
Did you see my 102? I said I fucking hate the man (those terms exactly.) I think that’s sufficiently angry.
Ing: #51
Clearly it’s not a Peter Paul and Mary fan.
They ripped off Dinotopia! They fucking ripped off Dinotopia!!!
Now I’m laughing!!!
I hope the authors of Dinotopia sue. They’d win, and Ken Ham would become the fucking laughingstock of the whole fucking world. :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
It’s copied from a photo of a chimpanzee eating termites.
Yes, three epic fails in three words.
No. But I didn’t mention it because, as I said, I just don’t know where to begin.
It’s not just dromaeosaurids, it’s more like all archosaurs except sauropods (who sorta kinda cheat).
Did you count the fingers on Deinonychus? *shudder*
Oh for fuck’s sake, stirrups. :-o I’m out of words.
…Yeah. That, too.
That’s more like it.
ROTFLMAO!
No, no, no – that’s after the Fall, after the Tower of Babel even.
…while… the nettles…
“The Giant Queensland Stinging Tree – it won’t kill you, but you’ll wish it had.”
– Brian Choo describing this and notably not that
Monotremes aren’t marsupials.
…from mono-, “single”, and trema, “hole”…
shitfuck, this is about sex again!AussieMike:
I agree that anger is an appropriate response to bullshititude such as this. It is not the only appropriate response.
When my children, in public school, were subjected to government-sponsered Christianity (Today, we’re going to make Christmas ornaments. Oh, you object, well here’s some blue and white paper for you.), Wife and I, with the consent of the child, went ballistic. And won (with no lawyers involved (the school now handles holidays differently — not perfect, but they are getting there)).
My anger about the shit that Hamm pulls is, ultimately, worthless. He thrives on anger. It makes him feel persecuted (which is what every conservative Christian wants). It makes him a victim — Waaah, those mean atheists who aren’t even real ‘Merkuns are angry at me and since they don’t believe in my gods, they have nothing to stop them from killing me, Waaah!
Pointing and laughing, though, can be an appropriate response, too. Especially if he reacts. When Christians treat mocking as if it were persecution or threats, it weakens their position and helps the world to see them as the spoiled kindergartners that they are. And, at the same time, pointing and laughing (and, more to the point, explaining why we are pointing and laughing) may help to bring over to reality someone who is turned off by anger.
Anger and mocking both have a place. Both should be used. I prefer mocking, often to the point of abject absurdity, because it helps to preserve my mental and emotional health.
Anyway, I agree that anger is an appropriate response. I would just argue that does not mean mocking is not an appropriate response.
It’s her hair, falling over her shoulder. I only noticed her apparent bra because Eve looks a lot like Dave, a friend of mine. I zoomed in because it looks a little bit like Eve has an adams apple.
You can’t beat Mark Twain (excerpt from Eve’s diary):
“Another discovery. One day I noticed that William McKinley was not looking well. He is the original first lion, and has been a pet of mine from the beginning. I examined him, to see what was the matter with him, and found that a cabbage which he had not chewed, had stuck in his throat. I was unable to pull it out, so I took the broomstick and rammed it home. This relieved him. In the course of my labors I had made him spread his jaws, so that I could look in, and I noticed that there was something peculiar about his teeth. I now subjected the teeth to careful and scientific examination, and the result was a consuming surprise: the lion is not a vegetarian, he is carnivorous, a flesh-eater! Intended for one, anyway.”
David Marjanovic:
There definitely are Cretaceous monocots. There are even Cretaceous grasses.
And did you notice that gay Deinonychus has four fingers and three toes?
Anyone know how to get Raisin Bran and milk off of a computer monitor?
@56 savaga
AFAIK no known theropod had that capability. Unfortunately this bunny-handed condition is ubiquitous even in modern reconstructions, if you can believe it. It’s not a mistake exclusive to the common layman though; you’ll find that the same error is made in many museum mounts(!) and even textbooks. How preparators can assemble a theropod’s axial skeleton without err yet completely fuck up the arms is beyond me. Definitely a bother, but I’m more concerned with Ceratosaurus’ seemingly webbed ‘paws’ and Deinonychus’ deformed feet. Why does it appear to have only two digits, and why isn’t the placement of the sickle claw consistent? Didn’t expect a creationist’s depiction to include feathers of any kind, so no surprise there. Also not diggin’ the mammalian nostrils too much. Despite the illustration’s many faults, I have to give the creator credit for not making the mistake of placing the eye in the antorbital fenestra (which always yields hilarious results, see here).
Can someone please explain to me why the Tsintaosaurus has a giant erection on its head?
They ripped off Robin and my garden of eden diorama!!
http://www.ranum.com/linkedimages/garden_eden.jpg
Tsintaosauri took the expression “give head” literally.
Does anyone else think the Deinonychus looks slightly… camp?