Mary’s Monday Metazoan: O Beautiful Salad

As long as we’re thinking about gorillas, what do gorillas think about?

(via NatGeo)

(Also on Sb)


  1. Blondin says

    Or maybe, “It’s so great to have these opposable thumbs which enable me to dexterously hold and manipulate objects. Still.. tentacles would be SO cool!”

  2. Scientismist says

    If only reason and logos had incarnated as a baby gorilla instead of a human, I could look at this leaf and see beauty. As it is, it is ugly, ugly, ugly.
    (..And Love turned into a beer bottle and got in a fight down in the Castro, while Logic manifested as a duck and quacked Desire).

  3. Brownian says

    “So, yeah, it curves kinda like this. Enese doesn’t seem to mind; she tells me she’s happy and satisfied, but I look at the other guys’ ones when we’re in the clearing, and theirs are nice and straight and I feel a little embarrassed sometimes.”

  4. mdvalero says

    I was at the Philly zoo last Sunday and saw a female gorilla holding her left breast and licking her nipple. Then she threw up a somewhat solid, grassy chunk into her hand. Then she ate what she’d thrown up. I don’t know what she was thinking, either.

  5. says

    Like Dembski thinking “Thank God I’m not related to a damned gorilla,” the gorilla’s likely thinking “Thank God I’m not related to Dembski.” Both ignoring the evidence that they are related.

    One at least has an excuse.

    Glen Davidson

  6. Brownian says

    I don’t know what she was thinking, either.

    In my experience, when wondering what someone from another culture is thinking/wondering about, you’re much more likely to be right if you assume mundane than esoteric. The best insults among the Ju/’hoansi or !Kung, for instance, involve trashing others’ genitals and sexual behaviour: “Your penis is huge” [not a compliment, apparently] “Your labia are long, dark, and ugly!” “Screw sand!” “Ejaculate on yourself!”

    Further, more cultures invoke sexual and scatological topics in their profanities than invoke philosophers or existential topics. So, if this gorilla is thinking at all about anything at this moment, my money’s on the rash on his ass rather than the meaning of life.

  7. carlie says

    “Damn, look at the stomatal density on this thing! And so many of those stupid hairless apes think there’s no global warming going on…”

  8. AlanMac says

    “…well ya, it’s Nymphaeaceae, but that doesn’t exactly nail it down now does it, genius… thinkthinkthink… it’s almost your turn…Damn, I hate these ‘What Is That You Are Eating’ pop quiz’s!”

  9. DLC says

    “Pollution, war, famine, pestilence, plague and death, and those hairless dumbasses think they’re the top of the food chain. “

  10. philhoenig says

    “If I keep looking pensively at this leaf, that guy over there’s going to
    take my picture and I’m gonna be famous.”