Perhaps you have been pondering the meaning of the new traditional greeting, Happy Monkey! (important usage note: it is not Merry Monkey, nor is it Happy Monkey Day. It is simply “Happy Monkey”, full stop. Trying to change the phrase means you are waging war on the Monkey, and you know how they will respond.) I haven’t. I’ve been bogged down in the end-of-semester grind for the last week, writing tests, giving tests, grading tests, and there has been little room in my brain for deep philosophical thought.
But then, just a few minutes ago, I reached an end. The exams and papers were all marked and graded, and I filled out the forms and submitted them to the registrar. And I had an epiphany. Happy Monkey is not a day, not a greeting card, not just a phrase. Happy Monkey doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Happy Monkey…perhaps…means a little bit more. And what happened then…? Well, my small Monkey grew three sizes that day!
Happy Monkey is any moment that you feel the burdens lifted, that you feel a lightening of the mood, that you feel puckish and prankish and like kicking your heels. Happy Monkey can strike any time, any day!
So Happy Monkey, everyone! And may you have many Happy Monkeys in days to come!
“Well, my small Monkey grew three sizes that day!”
I may be repaeting myself here but:
EEEEEwww :P
If this condition persists for more than four hours, consult your physician immediately.
Sounds, uh, evolutionistic.
Darwinism is taking over our rhetoric! All others are Expelled! by Darwinian elitists.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592
My monkey will never be happy until those with pet chickens get the cultural respect they deserve.
http://my.earthlink.net/article/int?guid=20081218/4949d8d0_3ca6_1552620081218-771608040
The images that may invoke should send the more pious fundamentalists off to the closet to pray over their “impure” thoughts.
Either that or they’ll complain to you while secretly thinking about what it may mean if they were honest with themselves.
Damn straight. It’s “Happy Monkey” — none of this multicultural diversity pc nonsense of “Merry Menagerie.” Our species was built on ape. Not squid. Not duck. Not frog.
I’m not afraid to say “Happy Monkey.”
So, is Happy Monkey the polar opposite of sad panda?
HAPPY MUNKEY!
(oh noes – i have perverted the true sense of the SPIRIT of HM!)
– groan up late making barbados rum punch for office party – should be messy! –
Thanks PZ for all your hard blogging the past year(s?) May your monkey experience infinite happiness..
Don’t high-hat the monkey!
[cue unctuous fifties crooner voice]
“I’ll…. be home…. for Monkey….”
PZ – as another educator who’s grades are all in “the system”, Happy Monkey to you too! :)
how very apt.
at work another group had claimed something contradictory to my team’s data and we were feeling heat for it. not only did we corroborate our results today, but the other group has reduced their claim so that their data agrees with ours.
we were right and a huge burden is lifted!!! happy monkey!
Apologies for my blasphemy earlier. I have been duly chastised and will only use the correct and proper Happy Monkey from now on. Please forgive me.
Happy Monkey to all and to all a good night.
On a very wobbly tanget has anyone else gotten the link to God is for suckers to open? I am beginning to wonder if I have fallen hook, line, and sinker for God’s awsome nothingness by some HTML-fu that creates a page that doesn’t load. Should I laugh an uncomfortable laugh and hide my head in shame or should I continue to wait? I am going to go with my gut and continue to wait. Just in case.
That Pascal Wager feller had a good point.
Myers, your reputation does proceed you. You certainly are another example of why our kids are in such poor shape after leaving one of these lower levels of education. Keep up the poor work. Do they really pay you?!
After a brief dip into the pool of moronity that is the collection of comments by Fly in the Ointment (they do love to give themselves self-important handles, don’t they?), my heart swelled to see a post titled ‘Happy Monkey’.
Happy Monkey, one and all!
Robert @14:
Did those words just fall out of your computer in that order or are you drunk? I wouldn’t want to imply that you are a US citizen or that you aren’t taking a vacation day today but on the East coast it’s barely 4:30pm – that’s a little early to be drunk-posting online.
Yes, Happy Monkey. Tomorrow I start vacation through the end of the year.
Everyone at work got a happy monkey after i read the phrase in you blog on your recieved emails, they all think i’m mental now, was think of making up some cards for tomorrow, give one to everyone who gives me an Xmas card
A pity it’s not Tuesday today, or this would be Happy Monkey Tuesday! (I miss Penn’s radio show.)
The common thread of those missives is fear; fear of knowledge, fear of heterodoxy, fear of the unfamiliar. I can’t imagine how those people can live such frightened lives.
“my heart swelled to see a post titled ‘Happy Monkey’.”
geez, more tongue in cheek inuendo
/sarcasm
Or is it? Traditionally speaking, the “heart” is a sex symbol.
i hereby declare happy monkey to be a secular holiday, darwin unto you all.
and yes, also sad panda. :D
off to cut down a banana tree! happy monkey!
Asking the FSM for a snowstorm to speed the coming of Happy Monkey…
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/11/081124-giant-squid-magnapinna.html
A Monkey present for PZ!
Happy Monkey!
after a quick whois, it turns out that oktosaymonkeytome.com is available. I don’t currently have the scratch to register it and put up a site on it, but if someone could figure out who oktosaychristmastome.com (see a previous entry that I’m too lazy to search for) uses to print their buttons and sets up a similar site, I’d be proud to be one of your first customers
*hint* *hint*
Happy Monkey, Robert!
And I will hang my monkey with care….
Happy Monkey, everyone! Let’s all sing Happy Monkey carols:
“Oooo oo ooo Eee Eeee AAAA AAAA AAAA AAAAA!!!”
Uh… I don’t have to change my name, do I?
And a happy monkey to you too!
WRMartin are you judging me? How intolerant of you. I do hope you all have a Christ filled Christmas.
I, for one, like this Happy Monkey and will be fully participating from here on out!
Perhaps Kirk Cameron will have to rethink that whole banana thing.
I’m imagining Christmas songs with “Happy Monkey” replacing “Merry Christmas.” The results are amusing. Especially, “Have yourself a Happy little Monkey…”
bo @ 21:
Wait… wouldn’t cutting down a banana tree make Monkey sad?
But, Robert, I got my work done promptly and ahead of schedule!
I think your monkey is very very tiny. And very sad.
Robert, it ceased being cute when right wingers criticised liberals of being ‘intolerant’ sometime around 1992. Pull your head out of your ass and look at a calendar, you shithead.
I do hope you have a polyp-filled colon, douchebag.
Now how’s that for intolerance, fuckface?
Now PZ understands Curious George.
Happy Monkey!
‘Happy Monkey” – Not to be confused with “Spank the Monkey”
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=happy+monkey+picture&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=1&ct=title
I will think of you when I eat my bananas, Robert
Waitaminit….thats an ancient hymn celebrating lord Hanuman :) http://tinyurl.com/3xc7kn
Is this related to Dr. Isis’ Naughty Monkeys?
I’m pretty sure what WRMartin gave you was neither judgement nor intolerance. It was well deserved abuse.
“Happy Monkey” – Not to be confused with “Spank the Monkey”
What if said monkey likes being spanked, hmmm?
I think Brownian has an Irritated Monkey.
Quick, apply a salve before it becomes Inflamed, because then you’d need steroids.
He does make for a creamy filling. Yum!
O and Happy Monkey to all (even Robert)
WRMartin needs to go f@ck off–today.
This monkey’s gone to heaven. However, the nature of Monkey was irrepressible!
Happy monkey! It’s almost the holidays!
Dinkum, are you offering to touch my monkey?
I pulled a back muscle so I’m all cranky, and dipshits like Bobby Babbles here isn’t doing much for my mood.
dearest robert,
bananas be upon you, i am sure PZ will eventually turn the other (red baboon butt) cheek.
Maybe we can train a happy monkey to pull the stick out of Robert’s ass – and, simultaneously, the ooga-booga out of his woo-addled brain.
HAPPY APE! Yes, APE! Long live the Apist heresy!
(starts leading his fellow Apist dissenters in a rousing rendition of “Rock Me, Dr. Zaius”.)
No, you shameless creature, it was a simple recommendation for self-treatment.
And upon further contemplation, might I also recommend against anything with menthol…
Yikes, I seem to have ruffled Robert’s fur.
No, Robert, I’m not judging you – simply asking an honest question. I apologize for implying you were drunk.
And may the great monkey spirit be tolerant with you and yours during this Happy Monkey.
I absolutely love this. Keep doing it.
Beat (!) me to it: I was going to say “A spanked monkey is a happy monkey!”
Now’s ze time at Pharyngula ven ve dance!
Happy Monkey!
String the banana tree with jars of peanut butter.
Five great monkey songs (in no particular order):
“Shock the Monkey” – Peter Gabriel
“Hey, Hey, We’re the Monkees” – The Monkees
“Monkey Wash Donkey Rinse” – Warren Zevon
“Monkey & the Engineer” – The Grateful Dead
“Monkeyman” – The Rolling Stones
Happy Monkey to all and to all a good night…
Robert, I appears you have a sad monkey.
bah! yankee, you are a damned monkey heathen. may the great monkey in the sky strike you down, in a humorous banana peel, mario kart sort of way.
Beware, those fundies don’t like monkeys in general, even less a happy one. Just hope they don’t try and spank yours.
‘We will no longer spank the monkey – the monkey will spank us!’
Jay, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
I appears?
it appears.
TWO posts and over 360 comments and no one does the proper, seasonal thing?
*sigh*
It’s all up to you, Phil. Don’t blow it.
*Ahem*
“Happy Monkey, movie house! Happy Monkey, emporium! Happy Monkey, savings and loan!”
There, balance is maintained. Not a Hannah and Her Sisters reference, but still cinematic.
Bah back atcha, bo-nobo! May the Great Ape fling his mighty poo down at you from His Heavenly Branch!
Damn Sigmund beat me to it… However I think more of the quote is needed:
“In the worlds before Monkey, primal chaos reigned. Heaven sought order. But the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown. The four worlds formed again and yet again, as endless aeons wheeled and passed. Time and … the moisture of the Earth, the powers of the Sun and the Moon all worked upon a certain rock, old as creation. And it became … fertile. That first egg was named “Thought”. Tathagata Buddha, the Father Buddha, said, “With our thoughts, we make the World”. Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch. From it then came a … monkey. The nature of Monkey was irrepressible!”
Some of the more religious sounding parts removed (replaced with elipses). I think this actually works well – Not only is Mokey irrepressible, s/he is birthed from Thought :)
P.S: The rock becoming fertile is partially figurative – one may be able to link it to abiogensis somehow :)
And Happy Monkey back at ya!
http://www.monkeymania.co.uk/sounds/monkey-1.au
SiMPel MYnd @#59
How could you forget “Tweeter and the Monkey Man” by the Traveling Wilburys?
Barely
Sweet happy monkey to ya all..
Seems as though one of the lost (may be a monkey but not sure) has used my name without permission. I would never use that kind of language myself. I will not let it bring me down though. This is way to much fun playing with you critters.
May you all have a barrel full this Holiday season.
And Happy Monkey Robert!
This is the best Happy Monkey ever! *sniff* I love you guys!
Robert, I fucked off last night, the night before that, and the night before that. My wife is sore and said we should take a break for a day or two. Mind if I borrow yours? I know your wife won’t mind.
You, my good sir, are little more than a troll without an imagination. Would you care to prove otherwise?
Happy Monkey!
Playing? You’ve done nothing but show your ass. Make a coherent argument about something bobby, then we’ll really play.
No Happy Monkey for me…much grading still to be done and another final exam to give tomorrow morning (weather permitting). Plus my arms are sore from 3 vaccinations this morning (2 in the left, one in the right). Also not enough sleep recently, nor beer. Maybe Happy Monkey Monday.
Robert wrote:
I guess that could be what a mouse thinks as it’s getting batted about on a cat’s paws. Doesn’t tend to last very long though…
Robert has staggered upon the ineluctable truth that when students are taught anything he a) doesn’t understand, b) doesn’t know or (FSM help us) c) doesn’t LIKE, it is a very very very very Bad Thing and it is time to drag phrases like “Godless Commie” out of the closet and dust them off and lazily, thoughtlessly vomit them forth over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
Here’s something worth a good laugh! What took so long?
Toss off a few at Bush!
http://www.kroma.no/2008/bushgame/
Happy Monkey !!
Everybody’s got something to hide except for me and my (happy) Monkey!
happy monkey to all. and nice grinch reference.
…boil that dust speck.
And where o where is the Digital Cuttlefish now that we need him most! PZ, I’m sorry but your sense of rhythm is either extremely advanced or nonexistent. I want to hear the rest of that formerly-Geisel poem in its new monkified form!
C’mon, DC, don’t tell us you’re still grading!
Rev., I was OK with I appears. But then I had this mental image of you appearing out of nowhere surrounded in a holy aura of glowing mist passing judgement on Robert’s ikibari.
P.S. I totally stole that word from here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3830559/Toujours-Tingo-Weird-words-and-bizarre-phrases.html
Yikes, I hope the URL doesn’t get eaten by unhappy monkeys.
I just got back from the doctor. He thinks there is something to my loss of hearing in one of my ear’s, and he’s worried there’s a Happy Monkey in my brain.
(There, there’s my Hannah reference for the day. Random-Man away!)
Hey dumbchimp, I didn’t know you were looking ;-) Yeah right, this sight is full of coherent arguments. Do you guys just stroke each other all day like this?
No Happy Monkey for me until the beginning of next week; have to give a final on Saturday…
@59–
Big…Big…Monkey Man! (the Specials)
http://www.last.fm/music/The+Specials/_/Monkey+Man
Happy Monkey!
Robert says:
Thanks but no thanks. I’ve become a Bobian.
Robert? Didn’t recognize you. Hey look everyone, Bob’s back! I knew you’d return someday Bob!
Of course, it wouldn’t be a Happy Monkey without Devo’s “Jocko Homo”, Toots and the Maytals’ “Monkey Man”, Chuck Berry’s “Monkey Business” or (not a self-plug) The Lurkers’ “Monkey Again”.
And Robert, we’re all Monkeying for you!
No, we also mercilessly bait the occasional hapless dullard passing through.
quaterass, I don’t believe I said anything remotely resembling you.
No, sometimes we here on this site take time off from stroking to correct each others’ spelling.
Robert, maybe you’re looking at the wrong sight for coherent arguments. But, no, we don’t just stroke each other all day like this – we only stroke each other during Happy Monkey.
Hey Sven, How ya doing buddy? Long time no see. Are you still doing Jack?
Happy Monkey? *puff* You betcha.
I’m eating a clementine right now, I may or may not have a banana later.
get yer ‘eads out of the gutter! :P
I am a happy monkey too!
Happy Monkey! C^_^D
Holy shit, a holiday sentiment so cute it can only be expressed in manga form…
Robert squeaked:
Squeak, squeak little mousie!
Well, it’s certainly not nearly as useful or interesting as spending all day on a site (that’s the word you were looking for, Bobby) criticising everyone else for spending all day on the same site, but it passes the time.
Why?
Robert, before you pick the flea out of your brother’s fur, first pick the leech out of your own fur.
Then eat both leech and flea.
Yeah, Robert, we stroke each other all day here. Now you’re here. it’s your turn in the barrel. You know the drill – just cover your teeth and say “aaaaahhh”.
(Hey you guys, I told Robert he had to be in the barrel *snicker*, he’s such a credulous ass, I’m sure he’ll do it *guffaw*)
More of the same Bobby. Lots of blah blah and no point.
Do you have a point to your comments Bobby? How about instead of spewing insults, which you really aren’t very good at anyway, and make an argument and then defend it.
Watch Letterman. He’s been showing a sneezing monkey most nights for the last week or so.
And of course the barrel is full of…!
Happy Monkey, everyone. And may the New Year fling something nice your way!
WRMartin, it’s no secret this site is not going to offer up any “coherent arguments.” It’s just that you all are, like, right out of a cartoon. Remember Curious George, that’s how I picture you.
Happy Monkey! And the blessings of the FSM upon you all. (In particular upon trollrobert who needs all the help he can get).
I…
I’m not sure what that means.
(I usually prefer Jameson to bourbon, if that was your question.)
Better a “Curious George” than an incurious fool.
Happy Primate!
Wait, I did that wrong. Sorry.
The Rev. wrote:
Yeah, but that requires two things Mouse Robert doesn’t have – 1) an argument, 2) the cojones to present it to his intellectual betters. Heck, he’s not even clever or creative with his insults; we can’t expect him to actually come up with a valid point of any kind.
The cats are getting bored, Mouse Robert. You’re just lying there and taking it.
Everybody has something to hide except for me and my monkey.
Enjoy.
Gotta go guys. I feel all dirty now just playing with ya. You have fun with your furry little tools.
Next on Robert’s agenda:
Friday: Join a bowling league to advise bowlers that bowling is a waste of time.
Saturday: Take a taxi and inform the driver that taxis are far more expensive than busses.
Sunday: Have ‘Went to church today’ slip validated by priest. Only two more and he gets a gold star for this year!
Later Sunday: Commit unspeakable acts that fly in the face of nearly every religious tradition. Pray for forgiveness. Rinse and repeat.
This Happy Monkey Day I do hereby declare that a state of warfare exists between myself and the Monkey.
“No, sometimes we here on this site take time off from stroking to correct each others’ spelling.”
Shouldn’t that be “each other’s spelling”?
Oh, we did. But it was just the one tool this time out. And now he’s leaving us.
Bobby, you’re very tiresome. Quite acting like you just got home from 8th grade and start forming up an argument. Make a point that actually means something other than you thinking you’re flexing some internet muscle.
How about giving us an example of a coherent argument supporting something you agree with that you think we will not.
Or will you continue to hide behind your 8th grade insulting insecurities?
Roberts battle plan:
1. Complain about a lack of ‘coherent arguments’ while never actually presenting one of his own
2. Say ‘Gotta go’ when you get called out on it
3. ???
4. Victory!
“I…
I’m not sure what that means.”
Homophobia.
He’s calling you gay.
And how again do you propose that you’d be able to tell, BobbieSox?
@Robert #106:
The next time a creationist offers any coherent arguments, that will be a feast day, indeed.
Have a Spicy Spaghettimas, everyone!
Robert 1: PZ Myers is stupid.
Robert 2: You guys are stupid.
Robert 3: I have to go. Have fun being stupid.
And he calls us caricatures? I take one of my previous comments back. If he were a church-going man, he’d surely know what a real cartoon looks like.
Colour me unsurprised.
Adieu, Mouse Robert – you cowardly, spineless, sack of shit. No doubt you’ll go tell your pissant co-religionists how you stood up to the atheists over on PZ’s blog, and they’ll all gape in wonder at your skill and boldness – well, until they come here to see for themselves and realise you’re a gutless wimp, who cowered and quivered and whimpered and squeaked out a handful of lacklustre attempts at insults before scuttling back to your hole, crapping yourself in fear.
the war against monkey is a canard by the left wing simian fundies
Hmmm, I’m not sure. You may well be right. (Punctuation: not my department.)
I’m also waiting for the whiskey pedants to inform me that Jack Daniel’s is not really a “bourbon.”
It’s dumb shits like you Robert that are screwing up kids, not Professors teaching biology.
Happy Monkey!
Happy Monkey also happens to be an adult beverage.
Awwwwwwwwww. Poor bobby took his ball and went home, never having shown that he has the cognitive abilities past a little boy taunting the chained dog in his neighborhood, too scared to get on the other side of the fence.
Poor Bobby.
It’s not officially a War on Monkey until Bill O’Reilly starts pointlessly reminiscing on what Monkey was like when he was a kid.
@Robert: I am very cross with you.
This is a very nice blog full of very nice people all of whom are more intelligent and better educated than you so stop being mean. I can take a joke and it would be nice if you were to actually follow my example for a change instead of using me as a cover story for being an ignorant thug.
Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to go and have a stern chat with Mr Phelps, who seems to have an even worse grasp of what I was talking about than you.
“Well, my small Monkey grew three sizes that day!”
If this condition persists for more than 4 hours – why thank you, I’m totally flattered :)
Sorry for the downer, but I just learned that Majel Roddenberry has died of leukemia.
Rev.BigDumbChimp,
8th grade? A wee bit generous even for Happy Monkey. Robert couldn’t hold a candle to an average 8th grader. They’d have him running crying to mommy after the first round of “I know you are but what am I?”
Brownian, OM,
Didn’t Robert earn a partial star today for his martyrdom at the hands of the evil, and dare I say it, liberal, Happy Monkey horde?
Meanwhile, back at the ranch:
Happy Monkey!
Damn, that just rolls off the tongue and brings a smile to my curiously monkey-fied face every time.
HAPPY MONKEY HYMN
Tune: http://rockhay.tripod.com/midis/godislove.mid
VERSE 1
Come, let us all unite to sing,
Happy Monkey.
Sing, those with brains for reasoning,
Happy Monkey.
Let every mind from faith awake,
Each on this Earth a paradise make,
And sing with us for Reason’s sake,
Happy Monkey!
CHORUS
Happy Monkey. Happy Monkey.
And sing with us for Reason’s Sake,
Happy Monkey.
VERSE 2
Come, let us learn how we evolved,
Happy Monkey.
The billions of years to make us all,
Happy Monkey.
Science confounds our superstition,
No gravid virgins nor resurrection,
Life’s here and now, there is no heaven,
Happy Monkey!
REPEAT CHORUS
VERSE 3
Come, let us praise our greatest minds,
Happy Monkey.
Darwin and Einstein and their kind,
Happy Monkey.
Now is the time to learn to think,
Or we will shortly be extinct,
Gods don’t exist,
There is a link,
Happy Monkey!
REPEAT CHORUS
Ok, so here is the official Happy Monkey cake, which has a t-shirt to go along with, and, of course, the traditional gift. Nickelodeon has also gotten into the spirit, with this holiday monkey story.
That really sucks :(
But, on the other hand… we have our first Monkey Saint!!11!
another shot is fired in the WAR ON FESTIVUS!!1!
Festivus is a sacred (11 year old) American tradition. Its COMPLETELY ORIGINAL and DOES NOT borrow from Christian traditions which borrowed from pagan traditions !!1!uno!
you people have no repsect. Its not a “holiday pole’. Its not a “holiday dinner”. “happy monkey” was ordained by our profit Frank Costanza, blessings be upon him. festicus celebrates the rebirth of the doll the profit Frank wanted for his sacred child, George.
i will think of u during my air of grievances.
Sven @ 108
Jack isn’t Bourbon, it’s Tennessee whiskey. Slightly different grain bill and uses maple charcoal.
“Tennessee whiskey is not bourbon whiskey, as defined by Title 27 of the Code of Federal Regulations, Chapter 1, Part 5, Section 5.22”
But I’ll agree with you, Jameson is by far the best (I’m a little biased, it’s my first name)
SiMPel MYnd @#59 & Longtime Lurker @#90
More happy monkeying from DEVO
“Go Monkey Go” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lYZcIC6bqU
Happy Monkey!
Does this mean I get to fling poo at someone?
Yeah, but Robert already left.
May Happy Monkey be upon you.
Or something like that…
Sven @126
Didn’t see you called yourself out on that one, must of happened while I was finding those federal regulations on bourbon…
I am a Prophet! I successfully predicted JJ’s comment #139!
So, what do I win?
A shot, make it a double
Sounds good to me!
Barkeep! One for you too, and an IPA chaser!
There have been “Happy Monkey” cards available over at Engrish.com for more than a year now:
If they weren’t so pricey, I’d have sent them this year.
(http://store.engrish.com/greetingcards.html)
Bill O’Reilly’s monkey isn’t happy unless Bill is harassing female employees on the telephone.
That bastard Paul Weyrich, the architecht of the Religious Right, died today as well.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20081218/pl_politico/16702_1
Too bad about Majel, she always seemed like a really classy individual.
Sorry guys, I’m sticking with my Crown Royal. Happy Monkey everyone, and cheers!
Cheers! Here’s to a Happy Monkey to all!
Uhh… architect.
Brain Fart on my part.
Happy Monkey to all !
and a Happy Festivus to Feynmaniac.
(don’t forget about the feats of strength)
I just picked up a bottle of Bookers…… I like Irish Whiskey but I guess it’s my Southern blood, I always go for Bourbon. Well, unless there some really good single Malt Whisky around. But I really want to get a hold of some of this.
On another topic completely: Celebrate by getting yourselves one of these:
http://www.modcloth.com/store/Womens/Accessories/Necklaces/My+Pet+Octopus+Necklace
Serendipitously, it looks almost exactly like the Pharyngula octopus.
You have to hand it to religious people for making up such wonderful things as happy monkey and Santa and then acting like us atheists contrived a controversy. A happy monkey to one and all!
Nevermind… just saw the news that Majel died :(
Can’t believe I’m the first to post this…
Dance Like a Monkey
Shake your monkey hips!
(Better quality video at Roadrunner Records)
Oh, man, my SO and I have been using the constructions “happy monkey” and “happy rat” and “happy lizard” in reference to certain groups of satisfactions and/or contentments for about a year now. We stratify it by when our brains finally got around to recognizing something as being good; e.g., tasty fruits are a happy monkey thing, tickling is happy rat, a warm bed is happy lizard.
But to see a proto-version of this meme hit Pharyngula because an angry e-mail troll thought it up is just sublime.
Happy Monkey everybody!
To bad bobby left already. I had a perfect Carlin quote:
“You’re a loser bobby! A Loser. Now clean the shit out of your desk and get the fuck outta here!”
Rev @154
I’m a bigger fan of the Irish whiskey nice clean taste, Scotch it too peaty for me, bourbons
http://www.bevmo.com/Shop/ProductDetail.aspx?D=Jameson&Ntx=mode%2bmatchall&Dx=mode%2bmatchall&Ntk=All&Nty=1&Ntt=Jameson&N=0&ProductID=8935
mm 18 years aged…
Happy monkey to all, and to all a good night.
(I can’t add a Youtube-friendly musical cue to those previously suggested, though I tried. I’m listening to the Lee Pui Ming Ensemble’s ‘Monkey King Charges the High Heavens’, but it looks like it’s not especially online anywhere. But take my word for it: it’s very appropriate.)
Happy Monkey!
But not too much of a Happy Monkey, if you know what I mean…
May all your hearts be filled with that Happy Monkey spirit all year through!
To celebrate Happy Monkey, me and my left-wing hippie socialist communist tree-hugging family will be dining on quiche.
Happy Monkey to everybody!
(except Robert aka “Hey You Kids Get Off My Lawn!”)
Done with my last final of the semester…
Happy Monkey?
Happy Monkey indeed.
Just got here.
Is Robert the best we’ve done today?
Hardly seems worth showing up really.
Well, Happy Monkey to all!!
Perhaps we’ll get some real victims soon.
apropos Owlmirror @#162:
“There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a Happy Monkey in the depths of an ether binge.”
–Dr. Hunter Simian Thompson
Longtime Lurker @149 wrote:
That’s awful. Just terrible. Why, God, why? Why didn’t you take Pat Robertson too?
I wish you all a good Monkey!
BTW, please learn how to spell “judgment.”
I don’t mean to throw a monkey wrench into this. I’m just monkeying around. No monkey business intended. O god, stop me now! The flying monkeys! The flying monkeys!
Oh, and in honor of the late Mr. Weyrich, here’s Christopher Hitchens’ classic anti-eulogy for Jerry Falwell.
Er, ‘Judgement’ is not incorrect. It’s simply the non-US spelling.
happy monkey, mr. morris!
Robert at #47
“WRMartin needs to go f@ck off–today. ”
Just an observation but the only thing missing from the f@ck off is u.
before I rework the St. Crispin’s day speech to befit Happy Monkey, let me throw this great Sean Cullen song into the ring:
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/sean-cullen-woman-and-a-chimp/2025628989
Here’s to all the chimpy-children in all of us.
Hitchens: “If you gave Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox.”
Brilliant! Thanks for the link Schaden Freud–made my day.
Next they are going to complain about colour, realise, sceptic, gaol, and through ;)
And on the whiskey front, I have a bottle of Maker’s Mark to open when I get home tonight :D
The birth of a new holiday on the day I celebrate my own birth (36 years ago)? Happy Monkey, indeed!
I have a bottle of this waiting for me at home.
http://tuthilltown.com/QUALITY/four.html
Now I wish that the knitted Cthulu Claus had been holding a monkey instead of a little girl.
*sends out his evil will towards those skilled in dollmaking*
Happy Monkey! (p.s. I loved it when I heard it in the ‘i get mail’ thread and am glad that it is becoming recognised)
[Clouseau accent]
‘eppy Minkey!
[/Clouseau accent]
(in addition to Sigmund #48 and IAmMaurauder #67)
(ahem)
I have here a missive from Sun Wukong, the Handsome Monkey King and Great Sage Equal To Heaven. It appears His Ultimate Funkiness is much pleased by this, possibly even more than he was when Jet Li played him in a recent film.
Happy Monkey and a Merry OOOK to all.
The MadPanda, FCD
Do you ‘ave a lisahnce for that ‘eppy minkey?
Bah! Humbug.
Does your ‘eppy minkey bite?
@#$%. Fixing…
Does your ‘eppy minkey bite?
PZ observed :
“(important usage note: it is not Merry Monkey, nor is it Happy Monkey Day.)
But perhaps maybe there *should* be a Monkey Day… Perhaps we should lobby Congress. Who’s with me?
Happy Monkey to all and sundry.
I’m sitting here enjoying my Bunnahabhain 18 year old single malt.
@The MadPanda
Sun Wukong! Thanks for bringing that up – It brings back a lot of happier childhood memories. Happy Monkey!
@Robert
I have no effing idea on who’s been peeing on your bananas, but a Happy Monkey to you too!
Has anyone submitted a display for the capitol rotunda, yet?
http://brandautopsy.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/see_hear_speak_1.jpg
Happy Monkey, everyone!
Happy Monkey. git it 2 4chan nao
Um, what country are we in? You can’t defend bad spelling by pointing out that a word is spelled differently in another country.
After all, in Canada, ham is spelled “bacon.”
Lighten up. And happy Monkey!
Have I had too much to drink yet? No? Hot damn!
WANT!!!
I’ve heard about it, never had it.
A real interesting Whiskey being made out in Colorado is Stranahans Colorado Whiskey. They are sort of connected with Flying Dog Brewery and their whiskey is fantastic. It’s like a cross between Bourbon and Scotch. They have a unique distilling process. I highly recommend it as something different. A change of pace perhaps.
link fail
Stranahans
My monkey gets busy sometimes
My monkey’s got a lot of stuff he’s gotta think about
My monkey gets tired sometimes
My monkey wishes he was something you could do without
Cause every monkey needs alone time
To eat bananas in the sunshine
It’s feast or famine it’s a fine line
It doesn’t mean my monkey doesn’t love you
My monkey gets frazzled sometimes
My monkey has an ulcer and a stressful time at work
My monkey gets bitter sometimes
My monkey’s not the only one who’s acting like a jerk
And while he doesn’t like to name names
And he’s not trying to assign blame
It’s hard to focus on his own game
It doesn’t mean my monkey doesn’t love you
[My monkey butler Brian Dennehy screwed up again and he’s sorry]
[My monkey he loves you My monkey loves you very much]
[My monkey says My monkey says]
[My monkey says he’s sorry he’s a monkey but he’s got to be a monkey and there’s nothing he can do]
My monkey gets angry sometimes
My monkey says a lot of things he doesn’t really mean
My monkey gets lucky sometimes
My monkey thinks that you’re the bestest girl he’s ever seen
He says he’ll stay with you for always
It doesn’t matter what the job pays
Cause everybody has their bad days
It doesn’t mean my monkey doesn’t love you
It doesn’t mean my monkey doesn’t love you.
************************************************************
By Jonathan Coulton.
Happy Monkey! to everyone.
Twin Skies (#189)
You’re quite welcome! Since fetching my Cub from this place called China, I’ve been reading Journey to the West. In the process, I’ve become a bit of a fan of ol’ Sun Wukong. He’s a bit like Miles Kendig–you can’t help but like the guy. Or maybe Bugs Bunny.
(I’m more fond of Discworld’s Librarian, but His Handsomeness gets better lines.)
The MadPanda, FCD
Littlejohn said: “Um, what country are we in? You can’t defend bad spelling by pointing out that a word is spelled differently in another country.”
Hey Littlejohn, PZ is in the US, but don’t assume everyone else who reads his blog is. Let’s ask him for a break down of hits by country–I think you’d be surprised how many non-Americans follow Pharyngula. I get a lot of American students at my university–in the past I’ve let them away with what is, in my country, bad spelling. Using your criteria I’d better start deducting marks–you’ve coloured my judgement on this one:)
Happy Monkey!
(Did even one person try singing my ‘Happy Monkey Hymn’ at #135? :( It’s quite a catchy dirge)
Happy Monkey!
@MadPanda
The cloning trick with his hair was one of my favorite tricks – to think he predated Naruto Uzumaki centuries ago, LOL!
Which format are you reading? Our high school library’s Chinese literature section used to have an illustrated collection of Journey to the West featuring watercolor-style paintings.
Also Clouseau:
Thet.. is neut… mah ‘eppy minkey.
I propose that the War on Monkey “Happy Holidays” equivalent shall be Pleasant Primate. It’s more inclusive, and therefore, is persecutional (??) to the Monkey-followers.
DO WANT!
@ MadPanda: I forgot what the actual story was called. I will have to look it up and read it again – has been a long time since I have done so.
I may have to make it a Happy Monkey present to myself :)
Mmmm… A comfy chair, a good story to read and a nice glass of Scotch. What more could a monkey want :)
CNN is projecting Franken to win!!
Or something like that.
Twin Skies (200)
Our copy is the Beijing Foreign Language Press paperback edition (1993) translated by W. J. F. Jenner. It’s got a few woodcut illustrations from the Qing Dynasty, but not full blown watercolor paintings.
(In my opinion, the cover pic doesn’t quite do His Awesomeness justice…)
The MadPanda, FCD
Happy chimp??
Thanks a lot. I’ve got this very bad earworm now:
“Happy Monkey to you,
You belong in the zoo ….”
Littlejohn at 169
The language is called English. In England it is spelled “judgement”. The fact that your country cannot apparently deal with correct English spelling should not be to the detriment of the rest of the world.
Oh, and by the way, colour has a “u”, and theatre does not end “ter”. And before you start saying that American English is phonetic, one word; “Arkansis”.
More music for Happy Monkey festivities:
Beastie Boys – “Brass Monkey”
Warren Zevon – “Porcelain Monkey”
Aldo Nova – “Monkey On Your Back”
Happy Monkey to all. May the banana be with you, may your barrel always be full, may your poo be accurately flung.
My lice are your lice.
Everybody Wukong tonight.
Pace #41 and the D&L Goddess (probably): Naughty Monkey to you, too, PZ! Congrats on getting the work done.
Happy monkey!
Someone should make this an event on Facebook…
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Happy Monkey. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Happy Monkey. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Posted by: Brownian, OM | December 18, 2008 4:48 PM
Good on ya, Brownian!
Have already had one ‘blowing-my-lid-off’ incident with a sanctimonious bunch of Norwegian Israel-lovers who got upset because some Palestinians in Bethlehem collected broken glass from bottles and other after Israeli attacks, made glass angels from the debris, and sold them to make a bit of money.
That was supposedly very antisemitic.
The fun part was that the ones selling the glass angels in Norway, and being accused of being antisemitic, is a group called KKV, loosely translated to ‘the church’s cultural workshop’.
Dear Happy Kiwi:
I hereby withdraw my objection to your spelling of “judgment.” And I do so in the spirit of Happy Monkey. I mean, what the hell, monkeys can’t spell.
Did you know that my book, “How to Steal Food From the Supermarket,” is illegal in your country? Really. Your government has an official censor. He declared my book the most dangerous. Holy crap!
But that isn’t your fault, Kiwi, just as George W. isn’t my fault.
The important thing is that I have another drink. Happy Monkey!
Your Mighty “Happy Monkey” Overload, #209
You’re jealous because Shakespeare had an Appalachian accent.
Happy Monkey, and Spicy Spaghetti to all.
So Happy Monkey, everyone! And may you have many Happy Monkeys in days to come!
Ba na na.
Remember, “Happy Monkeys Fling No Poo!”
Happy Monkey to all, and to all outta-sight!
I ♥ Happy Monkeys!
Sie können nicht berühren meine Affen.
Kjempeglad apekatt!
Litt bakmusa, men ellers bra.
Turn away from your monkey madness and follow the one true swinger.
Happy Hylobatidae and may your Siamang’s be plenty.
OT OT Shameless self promotion OT OT
Help, I’m a SHOE!!!
an experiment in awful
http://acksisofevil.org/audio/inner206.mp3
or download from
http://acksisofevil.org/innerside.html
I have no doubt the chief censor has banned your book littlejohn. Every petty bureaucrat needs something to do to keep them on the government payroll. We can be largely secular, legalise prostitution, criminalise parental violence and then elect a right wing, global-warming denying, lock-em-all-up, fundy-retard government. You get rid of Bush–we get Bush writ small. I’d apologize about your banning–but as you say, what’s the point. At least you’re in good company–at one time or another our gate keepers have banned most of the world’s great literature. Thankfully our prime minister is happy to say publicly he doesn’t believe in god. We exist on such small mercies.
I mean, what the hell, monkeys can’t spell.
Yes they can. You just have to give them enough time, and enough typewriters.
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide (Except Me And My Monkey)!
and Hamlet
Happy monkey, happy monkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
Been a long time, happy monkey, through the winters night
Dont give up now, happy monkey,
Galapagos in sight
Ring out those bells tonight
Galapagos, Galapagos
Follow that star tonight
Galapagos, Galapagos
Happy monkey, happy monkey, had a heavy day
Happy monkey, carry Darwin safely on his way
Happy monkey, happy monkey, journey’s end is near
There are monkies waiting for a sign to bring them here
Do not falter happy monkey, there’s a star above
It will guide you, happy monkey, to some islands with a very rich local fauna that will help you formulate a theory to explain the apparent miraculous design of life and overturn the stranglehold of millennia of superstitious nonsense.
Ring out those bells tonight
Galapagos, Galapagos
Follow that star tonight
Galapagos, Galapagos
Happy monkey, happy monkey, had a heavy day
Happy monkey, carry Darwin, safely on his way
Happy monkey, carry Darwin, safely on his way
OK, OK, “Happy Monkey” everyone – but isn’t this guenon too long?
Nick’s right – we need some sort of break. Maybe a rhesus of an hour or so?
#59- Ape Man by The Kinks, maybe?
The Monkey rules! We must all pay hommage to The Monkey. The Monkey will lead us into the light and save us from evil. We should thank the christian zealot who revealed the real Truth to us: not God, but The Monkey is the way! He’s probably kicking himself now, the idiot.
Happy Monkey!
I’m still confused about Robert/Bobby expecting some sort of cogent evolutionary argument in the “Happy Monkey” thread.
I mean, it’s like going over to Orac’s and complaining that his shoe-throwing post isn’t about vaccines.
I want to wish Carlie #136 a special Happy Monkey for providing a link to Cake Wrecks, a truly hilarious site!
Ive got an easy day at work today. Happy Monkey!! Im not sure if its been mentioned yet, but another good happy monkey song is “Monkey in Your Soul” by Steely Dan.
Allright, you’ve convinced me, i’ll say “HAPPY monkey” from now on!
you can keep your Happy Monkey, I’m Happy Ape All Over:
You say that you love me (say you love me)
All of the time (all of the time)
You say that you need me (say you need me)
You’ll always be mine (always be mine)
I’m feelin’ ape all over
Yes I’m-a ape all over
Baby I’m ape all over
So glad you’re mine
I just found out that despite the terrible snowstorm that ruined my morning, I’m off work until the new year after today. Happy Monkey to me!
After all, in Canada, ham is spelled “bacon.”
Huwha? Is this like the Canada on Earth2 or something? The Canada I live in has perfectly serviceable ham; I just made jambalaya with the remains of one last night. If by some bizarre off chance you’re referring to the vaguely ham-like quality of back bacon, may I remind you that ham comes from the upper hind leg of a pig, and back bacon comes from, well, the back of the pig (as opposed to the normal side bacon, which comes from the rib area). Do you confuse chicken breasts and thighs too?
So if you give a million Happy Monkeys(tm) typewriters….
Someone had to say it.
Happy monkey to ALL!
Someone needs to start a list
Happy monkey is better than Xmas because:
1. Happy Monkey makes Bill O’riley’s head xplode
2. etc
PZ, if your happy Monkey persists more than four hours, be sure to consult a physician
Well, my small Monkey grew three sizes that day!
Uh…well then.
OK, OK, “Happy Monkey” everyone – but isn’t this guenon too long?
Nick’s right – we need some sort of break. Maybe a rhesus of an hour or so?
Uakari on with these puns.
Does this mean that the English have to go around saying “Happy £500”?
OK, OK, “Happy Monkey” everyone – but isn’t this guenon too long?
Nick’s right – we need some sort of break. Maybe a rhesus of an hour or so?
Uakari on with these puns.
Ba-Ba-BOON!
And to think I’ve been doing ‘Monkey Panic’ for years (has to be seen to be believed). I will now add ‘Happy Monkey’ to my limited reptile brain response repertoire. Thank you and a Happy Monkey to all!
Oh, great Darwin’s ghost. I refuse to comment on my little Monkey, or it’s propensity for dangling from trees.