It’s a crazy world out there


It isn’t so good for a fellow’s sanity to get the full dose of my inbox all at once, rather than spread out over four days. I got my mail working again a little while ago, and just browsed through some of the crazy stuff you people send me. Be amused.

  • A priest dared to ordain women. He’s getting a reward, though: he’s being excommunicated.

  • A priest denies communion to Obama supporters. He’s intrinsically evil.

  • I have to give the Pastor Ray Mummert award to the Bishop of Lancaster, who has declared that the problem with the church is all those darned educated people who aren’t attending Mass.

  • Maybe I should find a case of a commentator saying something nice about someone. How about this? Sarah Palin is the incarnation of “practical common sense conservatism”. Well, you all know what I think of conservatism.

  • People are worried about the “mark of the beast”? Really? A company that makes recognition systems tries to preempt concerns that their devices are tools of the devil by making a suggestion in all seriousness that people should use their left hand in their scanners, because the bible says the mark is on the right. Little do they know but that agents of the anti-christ will be observing scanner use and writing down the names of anyone who uses the wrong hand in their satanic machines.

  • And of course I’m still getting lots of loony Catholic email over crackers. This one from a Catholic priest, I thought, was amusing.

    What about eucharistic miracles that have happened in our own times?
    http://www.dsanford.com/miraclehost.html
    this one was actually verified by a scientific team and some video footage.

    Also, my patron saint, saint joseph of cupertino (1603-1663), would levitate as he consecrated the host at Mass, this was witnessed by many people including the pope of the time and other secular leaders. he also performed other miracles just like all the official catholic saints …

    I think “just like all the official catholic saints” is the operative phrase here. Cheap tricks in front of credulous audiences…just like all of them.

Comments

  1. Somnolent Aphid says

    Have you watched the video of the “flaming host”? It is pretty awesome. But unfortunately it looks like a distorted reflection of a guy with a camcorder to me. I must not have the true faith.

  2. Jim Darby says

    I’ve got to say that I’m loving the one from the bishop of Lancaster. It’s just so marvelously mad. He’s right though, education and intelligence are corrosive to religion. I don’t understand why he views this as a bad thing though.

  3. RamblinDude says

    Nothing to do with the “mark of the beast,” eh? That’s exactly what minions of the devil would say!!

    I have many relatives who take “End Times” biblical prophecy very seriously, and when supermarket scanner technology came out it was proof absolute that the last days are upon us. (And now our pets are getting chips implanted in them!)

    Evidently, satan’s a science geek.

  4. Sauve says

    “Taken together, these intellectual trends have resulted in a fragmented society that marginalizes God, with many people mistakenly thinking they can live happy and productive lives without him.”

    I guess I am mistaken, I am not actually happy, nor am I productive. I need to thank the Bishop for clearing that up.

  5. says

    Somnolent Aphid,

    It was supposed to be on fire? I sat through that thing fighting the temptation to hit mute and stop the godawful music, expecting there to be an explanation of what I was seeing. I guess they just wanted me to be swept up in the grandeur that is a light, an on/off switch, and a cracker.

  6. Pen says

    The Bishop of Lancaster knocks the final nail into the coffin of religion! Has he no idea how stupid he sounds? Oh wait… stupidity is virtuous, and he’s a fervent practitioner.

  7. Charlie Foxtrot says

    Everything the Catholic Church stands AGAINST:

    …economic growth, scientific and technological advances, and the cultural and social enrichment of billions of people’s lives

    Boy, they REALLY miss those Dark Ages, don’t they?

  8. says

    I guess I am mistaken, I am not actually happy, nor am I productive. I need to thank the Bishop for clearing that up.

    How *dare* you be happy and productive without kow-towing to the good Bishop’s Church? Why, I bet you even manage to be *moral* (at least: average or better, anyway). Can’t have that! Why, people might get the idea that the Church isn’t necessary! They’d leave in droves! Oh, the horror….

  9. says

    The trouble with crediting miracle stories is that once you start, there’s not stopping. Why not count Siberian shamans or psychic surgeons from Luzon? People are forever seeing saints and the Virgin Mary but also ghosts, demons, and pagan gods. That said, Eucharistic miracles are puzzling to me since, as I understand, the official line is that the body and blood of Christ shouldn’t be visible in the host since the appearances that would count as evidence are mere accidents (in the Aristotelian sense) as opposed to the undetectable substance. Anyhow, when I read stories about bleeding wafers and the rest, I’m always reminded of tales of thumbs that wound up in pickle jars.

  10. pharynguphat says

    SHorter Little Paul:

    “Blah blah blah. . .nothing to contribute. . .randomly pick on Catholics and others today. . .same old shite. . .thundering herd of echo chamber sycophants will blindly cheer my laundry list. . .must feed my ego somehow. . .”

  11. says

    Ouch! That loony priest’s website is like Time Cube, but a little more eye-frying. I suppose you can claim to have all sorts of proof so long as you document it on something people can’t read.

    And then there’s the Letter of Response.

    Religion sure does make people bat-shit crazy.

  12. says

    People actually still believe that eucharist miracles are real? lol, religious people always bring the entertainment.

  13. says

    spgreenlaw,

    I agree completely – and the music was indeed enough to send me jumping into the arms of Satan, if he existed, for relief. I just watched the video and if this is what Catholics consider a miracle, then they are even dumber than I previously thought. As you stated, no explanation of what we were seeing. No physical description of the surroundings or the position of the video camera relative to whatever the hell it was we were looking at. You know, my video camera has a little red light that flashes when it is taking footage. I guess it didn’t occur to this idiot to check it out up close because that would require the introduction of skepticism, which as we all know is inconsistent with belief. No matter, I’m sure this little hole in the wall of a church has become quite an ATM for the Catholic church with idiots that believe this crap.

  14. Eetto says

    It’s worth reading the history of the struggle for universal education in Britain. Through the great education acts like 1870 and 1944 and the creation of comprehensive’s in the seventies. And in 2008 after so much for a Bishop to come out and say education has a dark side, and educated catholics have disrupted the simple faith of “the working-class and poor”.

    How misguided and sad.

  15. Sven DiMilo says

    The trouble with crediting miracle stories is that once you start, there’s not stopping. Why not count Siberian shamans…?

    At least they had the advantage of Amanita to help explain their visions.

  16. mike says

    Still waiting for DNA tests on the Catholics’ eucharistic miracles (the wine literally becoming blood of Jesus). All it would take me to convert to Catholicism would be purported miracles, geographically and temporally diverse, all transformed into the blood of the same person. I mean, the still have these things sitting in jars somewhere, what’s stopping them?

    And not only that, it would put to rest the troubling question of Jesus’s Y chromosome (or the diploid/haploid debate).

  17. Jorg says

    From the eucharistic miracle link: “This website was created for one purpose and one purpose only: to show absolute proof…that our Lord truly exists in the Eucharist, and to erase the doubts of nonbelievers and those weak in faith, as to the true presence.”

    It isn’t working very well now, is it?

  18. says

    Jorg (#20),

    Well, if it did offer “absolute proof”, then it would obviate the need for faith, but without faith, God is nothing — so really, the creator of that website runs the risk of watching God vanish in a puff of logic.

  19. geru says

    As were on the topic of priests, try this on for a size:

    A vicar of an Evangelical Lutheran congregation in Mikkeli, Finland, is taking a leave of absence, for the purpose of having a sex change operation.

    There has been some buzz in the media on whether he can continue as a vicar after the operation. Female priests are common in Finland, but it seems unlikely that the vicar will keep his position.

    The vicar’s superior already blurted his opinion on the subject, saying that he can’t think of any function that the vicar could serve in the church, if he goes through with the operation.

    This case comes at an interesting time, as the state church is already struggling with male priests who refuse to work with female priests (some have been suspended for a while as a punishment), church weddings for gay couples have been a hot topic for a while (the church still won’t allow them), and the issue of openly gay priests is starting the raise its head.

  20. Sastra says

    How could you not love a website that begins with “Welcome to the Burning & Bleeding Host of Betania, Venezuela website?” Bleeding wasn’t enough. It also had to burn. And there is even is a cute little “pulsating heart bleeding in the center of the Host.” Maybe it’s screaming, too.

    Is this not enough? What will it take for the doubters to be convinced? A miracle?

    Many religious folks seem to be seriously torn between “we believe because the evidence is overwhelming” and “we believe on faith, because that’s what God wants of us.” It really should be one way or the other: not both.

    From what I can tell they try to reconcile the conflict by either pretending that they used to believe on faith, but now something has happened that vindicates that they were right all along and they don’t need it anymore — or “having faith” is just another way of saying “not being perversely stubborn.” We believe the sun is big and hot because we have faith. Or something.

    People who think videos can be considered proof positive of miracles haven’t ever hung around magicians. Or even smartass teenagers with a camera.

    There are evangelists in Africa and South America who claim to be raising people from the dead. So of course the Catholics are now all going to renounce the Church, because there are “lots of reports from eyewitnesses.” I heard about it on the internet. Which is a more recent, and credible, source, than those ancient witnesses for the levitations of Saint Joseph of Cupertino (1603-1663)

  21. Larry says

    Speaking of witnessed miracles, for those of you old enough to remember Don Novello’s Father Guido Sarducci of SNL fame, he did a bit on the miracles performed by a female American who was up for sainthood which apparently requires several individuals to witness to be allowed. Father Sarducci wasn’t so sure of her qualifications because he was pretty sure a couple of the miracles were card tricks.

    I still get a kick out of him.

  22. says

    pharynguphat | November 16, 2008 6:24 PM

    SHorter Little Paul:

    “Blah blah blah. . .nothing to contribute. . .randomly pick on Catholics and others today. . .same old shite. . .thundering herd of echo chamber sycophants will blindly cheer my laundry list. . .must feed my ego somehow. . .”

    Awww… It looks like someone isn’t getting enough attention.

  23. Insightful Ape says

    I would suggest that he try to convert a few protestants to catholicism with those “miracles” before getting around to atheists.

  24. AL says

    Also, my patron saint, saint joseph of cupertino (1603-1663), would levitate

    I’ve seen David Blaine do that!

    this was witnessed by many people including the pope of the time and other secular leaders.

    The pope and other secular leaders? Right. The pope is among “secular leaders.”

  25. Wowbagger says

    Blake Stacey, #23, wrote:

    Well, if it did offer “absolute proof”, then it would obviate the need for faith, but without faith, God is nothing

    I’ve always wondered about that – who, exactly, decided that proof and faith were incompatible?

    It seems like a pretty ridiculous rationalisation, even by religious standards – since there’s the whole of the OT where god interacted with the people on a regular basis. Is the implication that they didn’t have faith?

  26. Charlie Foxtrot says

    Shorter pharynguphat:

    *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*
    “I’m… sooo… superior!”
    *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*
    “so… superior…”
    *fap* *fap*…

  27. Nick Gotts says

    Hey, I’m worried about the mark of the beast – it can be very difficult to get out of the carpet!

  28. 'Tis Himself says

    my patron saint, saint joseph of cupertino (1603-1663), would levitate as he consecrated the host at Mass

    I wonder if a part of his body levitated whenever the altar boys got close.

  29. says

    It seems like a pretty ridiculous rationalisation, even by religious standards – since there’s the whole of the OT where god interacted with the people on a regular basis. Is the implication that they didn’t have faith?

    The NT, too. I mean, if I saw a man take two loaves of bread and five fishes, and turn them into enough food for 5,000 people, that would be pretty good evidence that there was something special about him! It wouldn’t take “faith” to believe that he had some kind of power. But, yeah, the Old Testament is even more so. Moses tells Pharoah “God’s pissed off at you, so he’s gonna inflict needless suffering on your subjects who had nothing to do with your choice punish you” and then the Nile turns into blood, and locusts eat everything, and so on. And then a whole army gets drowned, and food appears out of nowhere and people drop dead when God gets pissed off at them, and so on. If those events actually did happen, they’d be pretty strong evidence for God!

  30. BobC says

    Also, my patron saint, saint joseph of cupertino (1603-1663), would levitate as he consecrated the host at Mass, this was witnessed by many people including the pope of the time and other secular leaders. he also performed other miracles just like all the official catholic saints …

    It’s impossible to be a Catholic, or believe in any other religion, without being extremely gullible and hopelessly stupid.

  31. aiabx says

    Eucharistic miracles, eh? Is it as convincing as the time I saw Teller stick a fork in his eye and when he pulled his hand away it was undamaged. Eh? Eh?

  32. Fester says

    Whats the difference between a Phd in Biology and a extra large pizza?

    The extra large pizza can feed a family of four.

  33. says

    A cynic would surmise that the notion of proof being incompatible with faith is the sort of idea which arises when belief deems itself vitally important but fresh new miracles are in short supply.

  34. Pierce R. Butler says

    If our esteemed host had only offered suitable obeisance to Saint Joseph of Cupertino (1603-1663), maybe his MacBook would still be functional.

  35. Moggie says

    Any chance of sainthood for the Amazing Randi? He can perform miracles, and you’ve got to admit he looks the part.

  36. Jeebus says

    I wonder if the priest is aware of this guy:

    Not only does he levitate, but he also wears crosses, so he must be divine!

  37. says

    I propose a contest naming the most outstanding miraculous attribute for a patron saint.

    Hence the levitating properties of Saint Joseph of Cupertino (1603-1663), whilst fondling the cracker, would have to stand comparison with my patron saint, Saint Woody of Malibu, (1936-2002) who could hang 10 while quaffing a cool one an 8-foot wave…

    Domine, domine, domine, Bless us, St. Miki…

  38. LMR says

    Re: the flaming cracker

    It’s hard to tell because that video is really shaky, but if I’m interpreting it correctly, it looks like it is in some sort of polished (read: reflective) metallic container.

    Now, in the story it says how others didn’t see the “miracle” but the camera picked it up. The bishop says “you can fool the mind, but the camera only films what it sees!” – the thing he is missing is that the camera “sees” things the human eye doesn’t.

    In this case, what the camera is probably seeing is infrared. CCDs can see infrared, whereas the human eye cannot. Where might a source of infrared be coming from? Camera autofocus. It is quite possible the autofocus beam from the camera is reflecting off the metal and being captured by the camera’s CCD. This would be consistent with the camera “seeing” it, but the viewers not.

    Of course, this would rely on using logic and reasoning to determine what is going on instead of assuming anything odd must be caused by the supernatural.
    (Didn’t anybody else watch Scooby Doo as a kid?)

  39. 'Tis Himself says

    My Uncle Ted (1925-1995) could levitate up the stairs after drinking a six pack or three. I’ve seen him go from his living room to his second floor bedroom and I’d swear his feet never touched the ground. That’s much more impressive than anything Saint Joseph of Cupertino (1603-1663) did. Plus Uncle Ted lived ten years longer than Joe of Cupertino. Considering the abuse Ted’s liver took, that’s another miracle.

  40. druidbros says

    Hey # 4, at least we have pictures of UFO’s.

    #22 – Oh please dont equate Zombies with the big daddy in the sky (unless you are a deist). I love me some bad zombie movies.

  41. scooter says

    my patron saint, saint joseph of cupertino (1603-1663), would levitate as he consecrated the host at Mass,

    That was no saint, that was an angel.

    Chris Angel

  42. scooter says

    Sven DiMilo @41
    I levitated a few times, in the presence of my patron saint, St. Jerome of Winterland.

    I think I may have seen you there, you were the guy with the moving skin and a bunch of fractals in your hair, right?

    I thought I recognized you, wherever you go the people all complain.

  43. AL says

    If our esteemed host had only offered suitable obeisance to Saint Joseph of Cupertino (1603-1663), maybe his MacBook would still be functional.

    St. Joseph? Don’t you mean St. Jobs?

  44. Patricia says

    Shiva @36 – Thanks for that link. There is a poll at the bottom. When I voted it was Yes 16%, No 84% a total of 1617 votes. Question:

    Do you believe the group Bash Back has a right to protest as they did at Mount Hope Church in Lansing?

    I voted yes, with small reservation for the fire alarm pulling. The christians have been able to hang witches, torture, and beat the crap out of gays for centuries.

  45. E.V. says

    Guido Sarducci is comedic writer Don Novello. One of his brilliant characters is Lazlo Toth, a credulous, intellectually challenged letter writer. Novello as Toth would send obtuse questions to companies and organizations who responded without realizing they were getting punked (The gang at NASA caught on and sent a wonderfully tongue in cheek response). These were published in the Lazlo Letters and two sequels.

  46. says

    Re: the levitation

    In all seriousness, I wonder if he was simply doing what would eventually become known as the Balducci Levitation?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balducci_levitation

    It was simply a perspective trick — no technology required. (I actually freaked my sister out by doing it in the hallway.) With the right theatrics, you can really sell it. The only requirement is that your audience is sufficiently enough behind you that you can hide the secret.

  47. E.V. says

    So…uh… what happened to Louden the Fool? I was sure he’d rise to defend Catholics against PZ’s Religidiots Weekly Update.

  48. Patricia says

    Scooter you may have been attending one of the ‘services’ of St. Jerome of Winterland, but what you were levitating at was really Our Lady of the Enormous Bosom.

  49. druidbros says

    Levitation during consecration?

    What kind of lame superpower is that?

    The power of SUPERGAS !!!

  50. scooter says

    Patricia @ 63 :what you were levitating at was really Our Lady of the Enormous Bosom.

    you mean Lady of the Super DuperBoobs. She used to hang out with loose Lucy in the Sky with the transitive nightfall of Diamonds.

    I knew right away they were not like other girls.

    Deadheadettes, I sure miss ’em, crabs and all.

    @ 58: I voted yes, with small reservation for the fire alarm pulling.

    Never happened, according to the police and fire departments, no alarm was pulled, no intrusion occured, no disorderly conduct, the police were called to make the protestors, who were out on the sidewalk, move their cars that were in the Church parking lot, everything else was fabricated.

  51. Nerd of Redhead says

    everything else was fabricated.

    What, churches and the conservative news media lying? Oh sweet mercy, they were caught in the act. Its almost enough to make one lose faith in god.

    Oh yeah, that’s right, it did.

  52. BobbyEarle says

    St. Joseph of Cupertino?

    I wonder if he knows St. Irv of Sunnyvale.

    His buddy, St. Sparky of Alviso, had to split…the place simply refused to stop flooding.

  53. Susan says

    this one was actually verified by a scientific team and some video footage.

    Do they never tire of being conned? Follow the money!

  54. Anton Mates says

    The Host was in flames, bleeding, and there was a pulsating heart bleeding in the center of the Host. I watched this for about 30 seconds or so, then the Host returned to normal. HOWEVER, I did manage to film this miracle with my camcorder!

    There were 10-15 other people standing next to me also taking still pictures, but, they saw nothing, and nothing was recorded on their pictures except the normal condition of the Host, seen everyday.

    So camcorders have keener spiritual perception than still cameras? Good to know.

  55. John C. Randolph says

    levitate as he consecrated the host at Mass

    So, Chris Angel could be a saint if he wore a funny hat and handed out wafers during his act?

    -jcr

  56. John C. Randolph says

    Don’t you mean St. Jobs?

    Whatever Steve Jobs’ religious philosophy might be, I’m pretty sure that he’s not Catholic.

    -jcr

  57. says

    What about eucharistic miracles 400 years ago??! What about mermaids 200 years ago?? What about flying saucers 50 years ago?? What about “healing crystals” today?? Why limit yourself to hearsay from 400 years ago? Believe in everything!

  58. MH says

    Sastra #25 wrote “How could you not love a website that begins with “Welcome to the Burning & Bleeding Host of Betania, Venezuela website?” Bleeding wasn’t enough. It also had to burn.”

    So is that a sign that Jesus is in Hell?

  59. Robert Byers says

    From Canada and a evangelical Christian
    In comment to the Priest who specks against Obama suipporters getting Communion. and Myers saying he’s EVILLLLLL.
    Well first he’s a man of seeking gods will on earth. So more likely he is right about about these things.
    I don’t endorse it but only his moral right to suggest it.
    Who started the accusations?
    I saw Obama on election night and before say a unjust accusation against American character in the past and present as being oppressive to Blacks in getting ahead.
    On behalf of Yankee and modern southern America. NOT GUILTY.

    America has always given Black citizens everything and more to advance them. Blacks are not opposed in any way by the american people. Failure is their own patent.
    They have not overcome anything with this obama as there was not anything to overcome.
    In fact the election justifys the old southern belief that blacks were a different people, not just another colour, and that this determined who deserved what.
    The blacks pushing Obama gives credit to the old Southerners after all.
    Blacks did look at colour, did want their colour and not the others because of colour.
    In short these Africans would deny the Americans the great position and prestige of the great idea of a top leader being open to any native born citizen.
    The blacks and others were racist in their hearts and votes. Of coarse each man as he is.

    If it can be said that a black deserved, not anyone else, to be boss then it can be said that supporters of this boss, for other/any reason can’t deserve communion.
    A line of reason

  60. csrster says

    If your priestly correspondent had true faith, he would consider the eucharist itself to be miracle enough.

  61. davem says

    I’m with the autofocus believers. I see that when the camera struggles to focus, the Jebus cracker has a beating heart(and maybe an operator behind it, but he’s out of focus). When the focus is correct, it’s just a cracker.

  62. Muffin says

    “the pope of the time and other secular leaders”

    I never thought I’d see a catholic priest (or someone claiming to be one, at least) refer to the pope as a “secular leader”.

  63. MarkW says

    Robert Byers:

    America has always given Black citizens everything and more to advance them.

    <sarcasm> Why, sure thing, you gave their ancestors a free trip across the Atlantic, gave them somewhere to stay (OK, you asked them to do a little work in return) how dare they complain? </sarcasm>

    The mind boggles.

  64. Bart Mitchell says

    Here is the video, if you want to watch it.

    All in all, it didn’t cause any immediate conversions to me. Looks like a simple parlor magic trick behind glass.

  65. Nick Gotts says

    The should be some sort of prize for greatest degree of disconnection from reality. Hard to see anyone getting close to Robert Byers.

  66. Natalie says

    I saw Obama on election night and before say a unjust accusation against American character in the past and present as being oppressive to Blacks in getting ahead.

    Can anyone parse this? I’ve read it three times and I still can’t figure it out.

    America has always given Black citizens everything and more to advance them.

    What is that meme, “not even wrong”?

    Blacks are not opposed in any way by the american people. Failure is their own patent.

    So, America has never been bad to black people but a) they are not Americans in the first sentence, and b) they are inherently prone to failure? Nice, Robert.

    In fact the election justifys the old southern belief that blacks were a different people, not just another colour, and that this determined who deserved what.

    Apparently Robert hasn’t been paying attention to the last decade or so of genetic research. Nor does he possess any common sense, but I suppose we all knew that.

    Aside from being a creotard, Robert has revealed himself as a racist and an anti-Semite (can’t remember which comment thread, but it was about the Franken-Coleman senate race). What a lovely individual.

  67. Owlmirror says

    @#86:

    I like Robert Byers being here. He makes me feel sane.

    He could make half an insane asylum feel sane.

    @#93:

    Can anyone parse this? I’ve read it three times and I still can’t figure it out.

    The words of Byers are not given to mere mortals to understand.

    He’s not usually very coherent, but the Obama victory appears to have caused his brain to become even more linguistically spastic than usual.

  68. Nerd of Redhead says

    Natalie, Robert Byers is a reactionary crank, so don’t try to make sense of his posts. There is nothing there that is logical. He also tends toward hit and run.

  69. David Marjanović, OM says

    Robert, it appears you didn’t know African-Americans always vote Democratic by 85 to 95 %. Kerry got 88 %, for example.

    It is unethical to make arguments from ignorance.

  70. Rik. says

    Well, if it did offer “absolute proof”, then it would obviate the need for faith, but without faith, God is nothing

    I’ve always wondered about that – who, exactly, decided that proof and faith were incompatible?

    I’m pretty sure the upper quote is a paraphrase from Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

  71. says

    Natalie, Robert Byers is a reactionary crank, so don’t try to make sense of his posts. There is nothing there that is logical. He also tends toward hit and run.

    Plus, he’s been extra grumpy and cranky recently. I think the nurse at the home is missing him on her rounds.

  72. Pablo says

    You know, you don’t have-a a patron saint for the United States, but there are some American saints. Just the last couple of years they made-a some. The first was-a about-a two years ago. Her name was-a Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton. Mother Seton-is-a what they call her. And she’s got-a these nuns of her own order who lobby-they’re real heavy-they came to Rome and everything. And it’s amazing, you see. To be made a saint in-a the catholic church, you have to have-a four miracles. That’s-a the rules, you know. It’s-a always been that-a. Four miracles, and-a to prove it. Well, this-a Mother Seton-now they could only prove-a three miracles. But the Pope-he just waved the fourth one. He just waved it! And do you know why? It’s-a because she was American. It’s all-a politics. We got-a some Italian-a people, they got-a forty, fifty, sixty miracles to their name. They can’t-a get in just cause they say there’s already too many Italian saints, and this woman comes along with-a three lousy miracles. I understand that-a two of them was-a card tricks. Next thing you know, they’re gonna be making Kreskin a saint. Saint Kreskin-they’ll probably call him. It’s a good one.

    I remember when Padre Pio was made a saint. By now, the rules are down to only a single miracle. His miracle, IIRC, was that he (well, technically a vision of him, since he was already dead) miraculously healed some dying woman. She knew it was him because he appeared to her in a dream or as a vision or something.

    Now, coincidentally, this woman was a huge Padre Pio follower, before she ever got sick. So can you really take the claims of a fanboy seriously? Would you give any credence to an Elvis fanatic who claimed that Elvis appeared to them in a dream and cured them?

    You want a real miracle? Show up to someone who never heard of you and cure them.

  73. Smidgy says

    Well, as the ‘official’ website for this ‘miraculous host’ didn’t see the need to provide a link to this ‘video proof’ of God (why is that, I wonder), I had to use the link in #91 to view it. All I saw was a blurry, slightly out-of-focus shot of something in a metal dish that could really be anything – including merely a distorted view of the folk looking at the dish. Hardly convincing.

  74. bernard quatermass says

    Yeah, in re: the video posted at #91, I want to add a text comment, but seriously it makes me want to proclaim in my best stentorian Crow T. Robot voice, “YOU MUST ADMIT, THIS COULD NOT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN FAKED!”

    Crikey.

  75. Matt7895 says

    I see Robert Byers has taken refuge here in Pharyngula.

    You see, Robert Byers is well known to us over at RichardDawkins.net. Byers is infamous for his ludicrous advocacy of creationism… uttering such gems as ‘Polar bears are scared to the point of white hair’…. his view that the Earth is 6,000 years old, Noah’s flood is true, and all the fossils were created during it. His tired old canards have been shot down again and again by so many of our members.

    Check his posts out at RichardDawkins.net, and enjoy the rebuttals from people who actually know a thing or two about science :D

    http://richarddawkins.net/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=33353

  76. Gareth L Owen says

    “Well first he’s a man of seeking gods will on earth. So more likely he is right about about these things.”

    Gosh – that’s an argument? That’s a valid line of reasoning? Cool! Let me try it:

    “Those evolutionary biologists, well they’re people seeking the origins of life on Earth so more likely they’re right about these things”

    “Those astrophysicists, well they’re people seeking the origins of the Universse so more likely they’re right about these things”

    “Those climatologists, well they’re people seeking the laws governing the climate so more likely they’re right about these things”

    This is fun!

  77. Sili says

    Damn you, Matt Heath.

    Pretty sure I read about that nice levitation trick in a book a coupla years back. Featured a cute little cameo by the Hidalgo.

  78. sphex says

    Am I the only one who wants to donate $$ to the Reverend who ordained women, as a way of saying &*% you to the oh-so-Christian and loving church that is going to strip him of his salary and benefits at the age of 69 after he’s served the church for over 30 years? I mean, I don’t agree with the guy’s belief in a sky-fairy, but I do admire his courage, and what better way to show how lame the morality of the church is than by stepping in to help this guy… just as the church kicks him out? After all, “catholic charity” is supposedly one of the wonderful things the church offers society. We can one-up them on that….

    If anyone knows how I/we could do this, please let me know…

  79. says

    @#36 and follow-up

    The church lied about the “bash back” protest. It was peaceful. Police and fire departments deny that any such things happened. Liars for Jebus, whatta surprise, eh?

    (I think I saw this on Dispatches, or maybe Greg Laden?)

  80. PurpleTurtle says

    “Also, my patron saint, saint joseph of cupertino (1603-1663), would levitate as he consecrated the host at Mass,”

    Holy jumping Christ on a pogo stick, Batman!

  81. Calilasseia says

    Oh no … Byers has decided to troll Pharyngula.

    For those who are unfamiliar with this individual, search for his name on FSTDT, and see the truly unique phenomenon he presents on several rationalist bulletin boards.

    PZ, don’t add him to your kill list just yet, give your regulars enough time to savour the full nuances of his comic eructations before you commit yourself to a nuking operation. Because if anyone ever needed the archetypal example of how uncritical acceptance of doctrine damages the brain, Byers provides exactly what you are looking for. He’s been delivering much entertainment over at the Richard Dawkins Forums, I can tell you. :)

  82. says

    PZ, don’t add him to your kill list just yet, give your regulars enough time to savour the full nuances of his comic eructations before you commit yourself to a nuking operation.

    Byers has been here for quite a while, we are very familiar with his inanity.

  83. Calilasseia says

    Byers has been here for quite a while, we are very familiar with his inanity.

    I didn’t realise he was that prolific. For some time he’s given the impression of concentrating upon one particular target blog or board at a time.

    Mind you, over at RDF, I mused briefly upon the hilarity of a functionally illiterate creationist (and, moreover, one who provides much evidence in his assorted eructations of being resident in a special hospital) taking on a fully accredited and tenured professor of evolutionary and developmental biology. I likened it to a 7 year old trying to take a peashooter to an operational Imperial Star Destroyer. PZ could inhale this microbe and not notice.

  84. SEF says

    Your Star Wars and microbe analogies are dodgy. A small child (and a back-woods farm-boy) did indeed successfully take on Imperial wotsits using quite minimal resources (in fiction). Microbes which go unnoticed (no immune defence mounted) can be the most dangerous (in fact). The wholly babble would inspire the faith-heads with similar, older versions of such tales.