Once upon a time, Charles Darwin crossed the equator in the Beagle, and he received the traditional hazing:
We have crossed the Equator. I have undergone the disagreeable sensation operation of being shaved. About 9 oclock this morning we poor “griffins” two and thirty in number, were put altogether on the lower deck. The hatchways were battened down, so we were in the dark and very hot. Presently four of Neptunes constables came to us, and one by one led us up on deck. I was the first and escaped easily: I nevertheless found this watery ordeal sufficiently disagreeable. Before coming up, the constable blindfolded me and thus lead along, buckets of water were thundered all around; I was then placed on a plank, which could be easily tilted up into a large bath of water. They then lathered my face and mouth with pitch and paint, and scraped some of it off with a piece of roughened iron hoop, a signal being given I was tilted head over heels into the water, where two men received me and ducked me. At last, glad enough, I escaped, most of the others were treated much worse, dirty mixtures being put in their mouths and rubbed on their faces. The whole ship was a shower bath: and water was flying about in every direction: of course not one person, even the Captain, got clear of being wet through.
On our cruise to the Galápagos, we also got a much, much milder version of the hazing, a night with King Neptune, who chose a queen (Susan Hurst in this case), and then made a few of us do very silly things. The movie below has pirates with charming Ecuadorian accents, King Neptune, and absurd rituals, but the real highlight of this video, though, is getting to see Phil Plait do the mating dance of the blue-footed booby (about 6’30” in).
For extortion purposes, I do have a higher resolution copy of this video. Maybe it should make an appearance at the next TAM…mwahahahahaha!
At least Darwin was a real Shellback, properly initiated into the mysteries of the briny deep. I realize that cruise ships do some watered-down version of the line-crossing ceremony, but a true Shellback knows you’re still a pollywog.
JoJo
Emerald Shellback (one who has crossed the equator at the Greenwich Meridian)
Wild shuffleboard hipsters.
they still do this on US Navy(military) ships. Lots of fun.
Your camera doesn’t have a zoom attachment? What’s the point of telling us about the mating dance of the blue-footed booby without a closeup?
Looks like happy hour at the church of the flying spaghetti monster :)
Darwin was waterboarded?
Looks like fun but, was the guy who had to walk like a snake wearing a straight jacket?
No, Darwin was not waterboarded. The shellback initiation is unpleasant, but it isn’t a simulated drowning.
Yeah I’m in the Navy and we crossed the line when I was on my last ship. They had to tone it down a lot in the ’90s due to someone dieing. It was still pretty intense though. PTing on nonskid for 4 hours, swimming in the coldest hot tub of my life, and getting rotten blended food dumped on you the whole time. Still very fun though.
Now I’m wondering … will wòó† make a pass at Phil?
Veddy interesting, as they say. I crossed the Equator some years ago on a business trip to Brazil. The plane had no such ceremonies, and Brazil was very much like the other hemisphere, as long as you understood that the other hemisphere was full of poor people. So it must be a maritime thing….
Ah! The good old days! I think they are nicer to us girls – it wasn’t all that terrible. Just waded through some trash, etc… .
OT ( and shameless promotion but I want to share ) I have some interesting “eye candy” for girls posted on my blog.;-)
Stacy
By the way, is anyone else reminded of the ‘insane japes’ that Arnold Rimmer always yearned to be part of ?
My father told me about his “initiation” when he was in the US Navy in the 50’s. it sounded horrifying. And so does Darwin’s account and Spencers’s and S. Scott’s. What on Earth makes anyone think these things are fun? Wading through trash, having rotten food shoved in your mouth and licking the deck clean (my father did that one)? it’s disgusting.
If anyone tried to make me do things like that, traditional though they may be, I’d haul off and punch that idiot hard.
I’m on dialup, so I haven’t seen the video PZ posted and can’t comment on it, but it sounds like it might be much better. Hazing, however, is grotesque. My father said it “built camaraderie”, but I simply don’t understand that. In me it would create resentment, distrust, and hate.
The Shellback ceremony is not unpleasant. It’s just silly. The most unpleasant part is taking your peanut-butter covered hair into the shower if someone thought to turn off the hot water.
Mmmm…. I lived on a ship for years, but all we got was drunk, and maybe throw eachother overboard once in a while… No dressing up parties to some pop soundtrack. (OK, maybe some… but I’m not admitting to anything they will tell you! -actually, I will…)
Aaaah… good times… I’m sad to say I’m a landlubber once again…
Still, the getting drunk and throwing eachother in the water is still possible in the city with the many canals!
@Eris – getting my “crow” tacked on was much worse …I couldn’t feel my arm for a week. I’d MUCH rather do the shellback ceremony again.
@Crr – What the heck?! We weren’t allowed to have any spirits on board. What ship were you on??!!
Stacy:
Oh my.
The cover-boychik is not really my type, but some girl out there is probably crying in her kool-aid. Nos. 4, 5 and 8 are a little more my speed.
Too bad about the collars, though.
Arthur writes: “The most unpleasant part is taking your peanut-butter covered hair into the shower if someone thought to turn off the hot water.”
You got off light. It’s substantially more unpleasant when you’ve been painted head-to-toe with Bunker C instead of just having a little peanut butter jammed into your hair. You can shave your head, and you’re fine. The Bunker C stays in your skin for weeks…
@Kseniya – Oh yes #4 is my favorite too! :-)
Nite nite – sweet dreams about priests waiting.
s9:
Yes, I know I got off light. I think it was my Captain’s fault, because he didn’t want things to get out of control. Come to think of it, I think either the Captain or the XO was still a wog at the time. I guess that’s you get on a boomer that just does figure 8s in the water.
Sheesh,
Call yourselves Scientists? Nine odd minutes of video and I see no evidence of satanic worship, baby eating or puppy stomping (Phil’s little jig being a poor substitute).
Scienz ur not doin it rite.
It would seem that we can’t break free of Ridiculous Religious Ritual (the theistic version of the three ‘R’s) no matter what we do.
The line-crossing ceremony is nothing but institutionalized assault. I find it odd that the same people who would call it “just a bit of fun” would have no trouble seeing the horror in “happy slapping“.
If anyone assaulted me in such a way, I would probably kill them.
Re The Roman Catholic Calendar:
Yowza! I guess that’s what they call a challenge. And hey, some people doubtless find collars or turnon – though not necessarily that particular kind …
jb:
In aviation, there are ceremonies like this, but not based on the crossing of the equator.
Most are based on certain piloting milestones:
First Flight
First Solo Flight (The Big One)
First Jet Flight
Breaking 2000 hours of flight
usw
@Sili – I found that because I heard about the beauty pageant that a priest was going to put on – but it has since been cancelled.
My favorite heirloom is a huge bizarre framed certificate that my grandfather received upon crossing the equator and entering “Neptune’s kingdom” on a US Navy ship in 1921.
I seem to recall that our family doctor had one of those Neptune certificates from his days in the Navy. Me, I’m just glad that the only times I’ve crossed the Equator, it’s been by air.
Don’t forget the Last Flight
My dad went through this when he was in the Army in WWII. He spent most of the war in Italy, but after VE Day his group was put on a ship to be part of the Japanese invasion. While waiting for the invasion to (not) happen they crossed the Equator and he went through the initiation. When he died in 2000 he still had a card in his wallet that certified his status as a shellback.
I went through something similar when I crossed the Arctic Circle. One of the ship’s officers dressed up as King Neptune (with a Norwegian accent), and we all got icewater poured down the backs of our shirts. Plus some other general merriment. I display my certificate proudly!
Congratulations on losing your polliwog status.
The Dude in the straitjacket is Danger Nate, who holds the World Record for fastest escape from a straitjacket.
Is it just me, or does King Neptune sound like a cross between ’80’s Schwarzenegger and Dr. Zoidberg? >_>
@Ann: What with arctic ice melting, soon we will have cruises stopping at the North Pole for such a ceremony, with Santa Claus and Polar Bears. Oh, and attacks by Russian pirates in submarines?
MH #24
Being a sailor is a hazardous job. Sailors have to trust each other to do their jobs correctly and to watch out for their shipmates and the ship. In the merchant marine, even today, being an Able-Bodied Seaman means that one is competent to stand watches and know what to do in emergencies. Naval sailors have to gain similar qualifications. Sailors set certain milestones that formally or informally recognize other sailors as being competent. Obviously taking a ship from North America or Europe to the equator means a sailor has a certain amount of experience even if he or she is on their first voyage. So crossing the line and becoming a Shellback is recognition that a sailor has at least a minimum amount of experience and competence.
If you fought back during or after a line-crossing ceremony, you would almost certainly be the guest of honor at a blanket party.
Crossing the Line is like a great many traditions, all of which, executed in the proper spirit, foster a sense of community.
iirc, our CO had the XO participate when I crossed.
Looks like PZ ‘n co. had a good experience. :)
PZ – thanks very much for mentioning me in your blog! It has been Scott’s dream for awhile to get a mention in your blog…and without even trying, I beat him to it! Yay for marital competitiveness, eh?!
“If you fought back during or after a line-crossing ceremony, you would almost certainly be the guest of honor at a blanket party.”
Then my attackers would some time afterwards get fragged. Or should certain people be allowed to assault others with impunity? Is that just?
It makes me feel physically sick when otherwise rational people try to defend this form of assault. Where the hell is your conscience??
How come the only one’s complaining about the “shellback” ceremony are the ones who have never done it?
It’s NOT THAT BAD and actually sort of fun!
I’d have no problem if it was something that people opted into in order to get a silly certificate, and that no negative repercussions were forthcoming for people who didn’t want to opt in.
If otherwise sane adults want to participate in sado-masochistic practices, that’s their business.
I do have a problem with humiliating people against their will. That is assault. And if resisting or abstaining results in further punishments, that compounds the problem.
There was a time when it was not uncommon for women working in offices to have their asses slapped. According to the perpetrators, it was just a bit of harmless fun, and fun is good for morale. Some women probably didn’t even mind; some may have enjoyed it. Others may have disliked it, but kept quiet because they knew that to complain would affect their career. They felt powerless and humiliated.
I’m glad that today, such exploitation is seen for what it is: assault, exploitation, bullying.
I’m also glad that hazing in all its forms is beginning to be seen in the same way. The only thing keeping it going is tradition and lack of empathy.
I have a beautifully engraved, 1.5’x2.5′ certificate given to my grandfather when he crossed the equator on his midshipman cruise in 1911.
I crossed the line at sea (never heard of a ceremony for doing so on land) for the first time in the Galapagos. Ceremonies were undergone (shaving was somewhat less so for we femeales), and I did indeed receive a beautiful certificate which I consider an honor.
I have a small one, too, though, which declares me a “Galapagos Amberjack” for the act of crossing the equator? What’s that all about?
Threats to frag your shipmates would be extremely dangerous to your health and even your continued longevity. Plus such threats are a violation of Uniform Code of Military Justice Article 117 (Provoking Words and Gestures).
You can opt out of line crossing ceremonies and the like. However, you will automatically gain a reputation as a whiner with no regard for comradery or crew cohesion. If I were your captain, I would do everything in my power to get you transferred at the earliest opportunity with low evaluation/fitrep marks in “support of the command” and “response to stressful situations.” If you made threats to frag shipmates, you’d be court-martialed before your transfer.
Thirty or more years ago, hazing and harassment were problems in the military, especially in the Navy. While there may be instances still happening today, they’re quite isolated and are usually punished when found out.
I realize that you’ll probably slam me for being a reactionary who encourages bullying. However, as an officer and especially a captain, I put the welfare of the crew ahead of an individual’s sense of propriety. I have explained above how line crossings and similar ceremonies promote crew morale.
If you, as an officer or petty officer, feel affronted by line crossing ceremonies, and make your disdain public by refusing to undergo the initiation, you’ve just lost a great deal of the crew’s respect. In my opinion you would have rendered yourself ineffectual as a leader and I would not want you in my command.
JoJo, your defense – nay, encouragement – of institutionalized assault is sickening. I expect you thought that the MPs in charge of Abu Ghraib were just having a laugh, and that any prisoner that complained just had no sense of humor? Or do you think that prisoners of war should be treated better than people on your own side? Maybe that should be stated in the recruiting material?
If captains like you are so morally bankrupt (or is your reason just cowed by tradition) is it any wonder that soldiers below them are too?
I knew you’d whine about my “defense – nay, encouragement – of institutionalized assault.”
Quite frankly, I recommend that you never join the military or get involved in any job that’s dangerous. People who put their lives on the line want to trust each other, because if someone else screws up, it can be your ass that’s in a jam. So you either trust the other folks not to screw up or you don’t trust them at all. One way to cement this trust is by bonding. The line cross ceremony isn’t about crossing a geographical marking on a chart, it’s about becoming part of the group. It’s an initiation and, after suffering some indignities, the sailor becomes a member of the initiated, someone the other initiates can trust.
If you, as a crew member, object to the initiation and refuse to undergo it, you’re telling the crew, “My self-importance and dignity is much more important than being trusted by you.” I can think of few things that would generate more hostility to you. As I said previously, if I were your captain, I’d transfer you and poison your career. What’s more, I’d do it publicly. When you left the ship, there would be no doubt in your mind or in the minds of the rest of the crew that I don’t want you on my ship or in my Navy and why.
As I said, do not join the military. You’d alienate everyone with your pompous, smug, priggish attitude. If you did enter the military, especially as an officer, your career would be short, unpleasant, and possibly fatal.
So you agree that certain groups should be allowed to abuse others with no consequences? And your defense is that it encourages trust? How can you trust people who wantonly – joyfully, even – abuse you? How can you trust people who would threaten to kill you if you don’t pretend to be enjoying your humiliation? What you mistake as bonding is just as likely to be Stockholm Syndrome.
It sounds analogous to an abusive family: the husband abuses the wife, the wife abuses the child, the child abuses the dog, all because they can get away with it. And threats of dire consequences are made so that the abuse doesn’t get reported to the authorities. But hey, it’s a tight knit family, and that’s all that matters!
And there were people in business who thought that women who didn’t want to be groped by senior managers were being “pompous, smug, and priggish”. Their advice would be to not get a job in an office. Was that right? I can only assume you think that it was.
As I said, I’m glad that the spotlight has exposed the depravity of hazing, and that steps are being made to punish the perpetrators. It will not be stamped out quickly (largely due to people like you who are abusing the next generation of service-people), but it will vanish eventually, because western society will not stand for it.
Quite frankly, I pity you. The abused has become the abuser.
Ummm … we gave up uor rights when we JOINED the military. Voluntarily
I encourage you to find a sailor who had a bad time doing this and then come back and defend them. Otherwise – this is just a silly argument not worth having.
The absolute worst thing about being on board a ship is being away from your family. Anything that you do to take away the pain of missing your loved ones is a welcome distraction. Besides – there’s nothing to do! It’s flippin’ entertainment!
There were women on my ship that left their 4 month old babies for 6 months. I can’t even imagine that pain.
Get over it why don’t you – like I said … anything to turn your mind off for a while.
Joining the armed forces does not mean giving up your right not to be assaulted by your colleagues, just as joining a cult doesn’t mean you renounce your human rights.
Have you ever wondered why cultists who have suffered traumatic abuse don’t readily come forward, but instead remain with their group and inevitably get initiated into abusing others?
And if you think that boredom is a valid excuse for abuse, you need psychiatric help.
Read it and weep, you sadists.
So, are you going to continue to advocate hazing, bearing in mind that I have just shown it to be unambiguously illegal?
Oh my dog! You just don’t get it do you. Pathetic.
I’m glad you were never my shipmate.
(source)
JoJo, I hope it’s obvious now that the US Navy thinks that people like you are part of the problem. Is it too much to hope that you are now embarrased of your advocacy of hazing? Probably.
S. Scott, I get that my position is the ethical and legal one, and yours is the unethical and illegal one.
I look forward to the day when hazing becomes as unacceptable as slavery. Alas, there are still people alive today who think that slavery is fine. I think that it’s fair to say that they are not generally respected, though.
Think on.
Perhaps you missed my statement that, while hazing and harrassment was a problem some years ago, it’s not one now. Or perhaps you were too busy being pompous, smug and priggish to notice my comment.
My second guess was right. You’re too busy being pompous, smug and priggish to pay attention to anyone but yourself.
There, fixed it for you.
So, you wouldn’t advocate or participate in hazing at all?
Ooooh! Look at the fear and the danger!
“Ooooh! Look at the fear and the danger!”
Hey, if it doesn’t contravene the Navy’s guidelines, which seem fair, I have no problem with it. I don’t expect a ship to have the atmosphere of a morgue :-D
I just care about protecting people from abuse, as does the DON.
You and I will never agree on this subject.
I was the captain of a ship. I took command after a martinet had driven crew morale into the ground. There was a bit of doggerel popular on that submarine under my predecessor:
One ship, one crew,
One shaft, one screw.
I had to turn crew morale around and, to make matters worse, a month after I took command we were making a five month deployment involving a cruise around Africa. Preparations for a long deployment and anticipation of long separation from friends and family tend to bring morale down under normal circumstances. Plus three months previously the crew had failed their ORSE* and just barely passed the re-exam.
So I took the ship. The couple of chiefs who knew me from previous commands did assure the crew that I wasn’t an asshole, but I had to prove myself to the crew under adverse conditions. I was able to get the squadron and SUBLANT (Submarine Force, Atlantic Fleet) to give me a supplementary food budget but that was the only outside help I got.
I wasn’t going to play “hail fellow, well met” with the crew. First, that isn’t my style. Secondly, that’s a dangerous situation for a captain. No, I’m not going to explain why, I doubt you would either understand nor even want to. However, there were some things I could do. One of them involved setting my own course once south of the Tropic of Cancer. The Prime Meridian and the Equator cross in the Gulf of Guinea. So I plotted a course that would hit that point. There were about 20 shellbacks on board, including me, but none of us had crossed the Equator at the Greenwich Meridian. Doing that made all the crewmembers Emerald Shellbacks, a very rare achievement.
Yes, there was a shellback ceremony and everyone, including the shellbacks, got a mild initiation. Nobody got broom handles pushed up their rectums or their pubic hair plucked out or any of the ghastly things that you seem convinced take place at these ceremonies. There were some other activities for the crew during that cruise, one of the most popular was a dinner cooked and served to the enlisted crew by the officers and chiefs. My job was working in the scullery, taking the crew’s plates, scraping off the left-overs, and running them through the dishwasher.
Six months after I took command of that ship, re-enlistments were up 200% and we passed the TRE (Tactical Readiness Evaluation, the important inspection for the non-engineering part of the ship) with an overall grade of Outstanding. For our next ORSE we got a grade of Above Average. The last year I had that sub, we got the squadron Battle E for being the most efficient ship out of six in the squadron. As a personal note, because of what I did with that submarine, I was promoted early to Captain and later became a Squadron Commodore. So I guess the Navy did not see me as “part of the problem.”
So, believe it or not, I do know something about how to develop and maintain crew morale. When I was captain of a sub, my philosophy was “I’ll take crew and the crew will take care of the ship.” I think I did a pretty good job of taking care of the crew and the Navy seemed to agree.
*Operational Reactor Safeguards Examination, the major inspection in the nuclear navy. Ask any navy nuke what the consequences of failing an ORSE are. Not a happy time.
In my post #57, that should be “I’ll take care of the crew and the crew will take care of the ship.”
JoJo, I’m happy to hear that your morale boosting efforts were both successful and ‘haze-free’.
:-)
It’s only people who contravene the DON guidelines on hazing that I have a problem with. I apologize for my brusqueness. I get easily riled on the subject of abuse/assault/exploitation/bullying/etc. There’s no place for it in a civilized society.
‘night.