The pirate’s life is not an easy one


Clearly, the Hemelshots have a much more sophisticated relationship than we have. We’re flying the pirate flag outside of our house, but every time we try to move on to the full pirate phase, we run aground on the fact that she thinks she should be the Cap’n, and then there are the swordfights on the stairs and walking the plank and black spots and mutinous crew, and then Skatje stabs us both in the back and declares herself captain. The pirate lifestyle is not a mellow, casual one that encourages cooperation.


  1. says

    Years ago, when a friend invited me to sail with him among the San Juan Islands, he wrote “because of your knowledge of the area and your manifest seamanship, you’d be captain…. I’d be admiral.” Might work for you.

  2. Johnny Vector says

    But the swordfighting is the whole reason for piratehood! Be sure to get certified by SAFD first, though.

  3. Johnny Vector says

    Stanton: Yes, pirates were murdering thieves and scum bags. And life during the renaissance was often nasty, brutish, and short. And fighting in the real Civil War may not have actually been all fun all the time.

    Also, teenage girls don’t kill vampires, there are no such things as hobbits, and you can’t really go faster than the speed of light.

    I think that about covers it.

  4. valhar2000 says


    In much the same way that rednecks “don’t need none o’ them book-learnin’s”, pirates don’t need admirals. Indeed, they grow better and more piraty without admirals in their diet.

  5. says

    I couldn’t help but notice ;-) that the Science Stories woman in the “advertisement” thingy on this page has an “I [heart] pirates” T-shirt on.


  6. Kaleberg says

    According to the online cartoon site, Cat and Girl, pirates are an overworked internet meme. The author proposed a number of new memes: sailors, beauty pageant contestants, the Basque, Baba Yaga, Little Lord Fauntleroy and Yale men. If I were you, I’d stick with pirates. You do it so well.

    Of course, if you did switch, I’d suggest going for Baba Yaga, but maybe with squid tentacles instead of chicken feet.

  7. Kseniya says

    Remember, Baba Yaga was just a witch. It was her hovel that had the chicken legs. You’re suggesting, then, something like “Squid Hut” – but I think “fast food parody” may be another overworked internet meme. Oh well. Back to the drawing board! ;-)