Have you ever browsed a sperm bank catalog? It’s a real meat market. You get lists of men by height, weight, profession, ethnic background, etc., and if you like that 6’1″ red-haired Lithuanian stockbroker, click, and he’s in your shopping cart. They ship direct to your doctor (residential delivery costs extra), and they even have a return policy.
Of course, if you’re anything like me, you look at the list and can’t help but think, “What a bunch of wankers.”
Still, it’s a tragedy when you learn that they’ve been wiped out in a tragic refrigerator accident. Oh, my dear Scots-Irish ski instructor with type A+ blood! Alas, poor Asian medical intern with a fondness for reading! Say it isn’t so, O+ African American lawyer and theater fan! So much potential life lost…when’s the memorial service?
P.S. There is a real tragedy here: men undergoing cancer treatments with risk of infertility also lost deposits. That part isn’t funny at all, and I imagine there is some emotional trauma involved.