Department of cluelessness

Clear off a space on the floor near you, because soon you’ll be rolling around laughing on it.

You may recall that John A. Davison, infamous advocate of Intelligent Design, started a blog of his own, titled Prescribed Evolution, back in November of 2005. It generated a lot of hilarity because it consisted of one post. This is it.

I have my own blog now, only because I have been banned from just about all the others. Since I am computer illiterate, don’t expect very much from me. I welcome any comments about my published papers including my unpublished “An Evolutionary Manifesto: A New Hypothesis For Organic Change.” I will tend to ignore any denigrations either of myself or my distinguished sources. I will also not take seriously comments from anonymous posters although I will respond provided they are civil.

There follows a comment thread. It’s up to 847 comments now; it consists of Davison wondering where all the commenters are, lots of bickering, Davison threatening to ban DaveScot, DaveScot threatening to ban Davison from his blog, waa waa waaa, on and on. If I were trying to parody the inanity of the Designists, I couldn’t have topped this.

But Davison could.

He has started a new blog, New Prescribed Evolution. Again, it consists of one post.

The original Prescribed Evolution blog got pretty cluttered so I am starting a new one. Hopefully I will be able to better manage this one than the original.


That post has 157 comments right now. Almost all of them are by…John A. Davison.

This is hilarious.


  1. Caledonian says

    At least he’s not pretending to have a squid fetish to pad out his blog.

  2. says

    Thank you for the warning to clear up the floor…that was good advice.

    Is he unaware that a blog can have, like, more than one post? No need to start a new blog, just post something new…or is it because ID is incapable of coming up with anything new so why bother…?

  3. Andy Groves says

    In the immortal words of Jon Fleming, “He couldn’t get a clue if he was drenched in clue pheromones, dancing in a clue field in the middle of clue mating season, wearing a clue suit, and shouting, “Clooo! Cloooo! ”

    I love it so!

  4. says

    You’d think DaveScot would explain things to the poor man. Maybe he has, but he’s so dumb he still can’t figure it out.

  5. Dave S. says

    Good ol John A. Davison … blogdoms answer to the raving lunatic on the street. Good to see he’s still ranting away at the walls.

  6. says

    I couldn’t resist looking. Glad I finished my drink before skimming. You’d think the whole thing’s about some theory of rudeness and bannination. The whole time, I was thinking, “Make with the science, already!”

    Nope. Nothing except a lot of whining about who banned who for which alleged (and deleted) flame.

  7. says

    I genuinely feel bad for the guy. That’s just sad. I thought for a moment about trying to explain to him that you can post more than once on a blog. Then I thought, if this guy is a frequent commenter on other blogs, and therefore knows that it is possible to write more than one post on a blog, but has yet to realize that he can write more than one post on his blog, then my pedagogical skills are simply not sufficient for me to explain this to him.

  8. says

    Hard to say which is funnier–his new tagline from the Patton quote, or the way he keeps saying over and over he’s going to leave DaveScot’s post up as an object lesson, then deletes them, and responds to them. It’s like hearing one side of a phone conversation.

    Of course, there’s always the content of the comments, too. This was definitely worth the price of admission…

  9. deadman_932 says

    Great googly. I just spent 30 minutes of my lunch alternating between laughter and incredulity at the rantings of that old coot. In the end, I’m just left with the fervent hope that I never encounter the brain injury or demon that has seized his frontal lobes. Maybe a quick trephination with a hammer and wood chisel might help.

  10. J-Dog says

    Reading his blog is like watching a train wreck… It was terrible, yet I was drawn to it… But seriously, this guy is scarry… I am surprised DaveScott and Dembski haven’t called Homeland Security on him yet.

  11. says

    Oops, my mistake. I thought JAD was deleting those posts; looks like it was probably DaveScot who deleted all his own posts (although there’s also an argument over that point, it seems).

    Since that’s no longer in contention for the funniest thing I’ve read over there so far, I’ll replace it with this quote from JAD: “Well I am through being a gentleman.”

    Yes, I’d say so.

  12. says

    “Is he unaware that a blog can have, like, more than one post?”

    Coturnix, what’s the matter with you? The poor man obviously cannot handle more than one thought per blog, and you want to get him all confused and nervous with your talk of multiple posts and such? Don’t you know that multiple post pathways in one blog would be irreducibly complex, and point to the existence of an Intelligent Reader actually, truly, deeply interested in what Davison has to say? Unless Dembski wants to rebut that “intelligent blogging is not optimal blogging,” which is why DaveScot acts so stupid, I guess.

  13. George Cauldron says

    Isn’t it kind of mean to make fun of a senile 77-year-old man?

    20 years ago someone like Davison would have spent his ‘golden years’ writing angry letters to newspaper editors and writing angry articles that got rejected by journals. No one would have ever heard of him. Today we have blogs for such people. The effect of the internet has not been entirely benign.

    Besides, the place where Davison really shines is on Larry Fafarman’s blog, when he and Dave Scot bicker and threaten to kick each other’s asses.

  14. Carlie says

    It looks like he just doesn’t know the difference between using the comment thread on one post and posting a new blog entry altogether. Shame, really. Someone should tell him about that.

  15. George Cauldron says

    Starting a new blog whenever your old thread gets too big is sort of like selling your car when the ashtrays get full.

    Of course, if he kept his OWN comments down to about 5% of their current level, the threads would never fill up.

  16. says

    Jeez, thanks a lot. I got piss on me and dirt from the floor. Please don’t post things that induce piss stains and floor dirt on people’s clothes from now on.


  17. rrt says

    Holy CRAP.

    Though I’ve heard of Davison in passing, I’ve never actually stared into this particular abyss. Wow. I truly can’t believe he is sane.

  18. says

    New Prescribed Evolution was fun for a while until I came across this very scary bit:

    “A chap by the name of Larry Farfarman has a new blog – I’m From Missouri:”

    The thought of Larry F, DaveScot and JonD posting in the same place is just too horrible to contemplate! Run, my little neurons! Flee! Flee!

  19. says

    Anybody else notice that under “Links,” two of the three point to “How do I edit my link list?”

    I have to wonder if his home is filled with pictures of families that came with the frames.

  20. CanuckRob says

    It is so sad. Reminds me of the crap in high school where each little clique had it’s own little spats and nobody else gave a tinkers dam but it was fun to observe.

  21. REBoho says

    Maybe he banned himself from his first blog and had to start another one. Probably said something to himself that he regarded as either nonsubstantive or personally denigrating.

  22. Carlie says

    Wow. Not only does he not understand how the world works, he doesn’t even understand the parameters of his OWN JOB:

    “Apparently, according to Dinger, if one retires at the rank of Associate Professor, which I most proudly did, one has misrepresented himself when he desribes himself as Professor Emeritus which I most certainly have. I sign my email that way and that is just about the only time I ever use the term Emeritus Professor. The term Professor is not restricted to rank rank any more than is the term Doctor. I thought everyone knew that.”

    So, then, I can call myself a CEO, since those kinds of terms aren’t restricted by rank?

  23. BlueIndependent says

    Wow. And it only took 5 posts for the self-agrandizement to start.

    “Darwinists’ worst nightmare”? Indeed. Growing stupidity is something to stay up at night about…

  24. says

    Oh, and way to “ignore his blog” due to its fearsome “scientific challenges,” everyone. I’m trembling in my sandals. And that’s an unexpectedly good phrase–the scientifically challenged!

    And no violins about Davison’s age–my mom is the same age.

  25. Ginger Yellow says

    This has to be the most, well, Davison quote of all time: “If you can’t address the significance of this blog to the current evolutionary scene, just don’t post.”

    How on earth do you address the significance to the current evolutionary scene of a blog consisting of one post about how the blogger’s old blog got “cluttered”? Even if we were to generously extend our analysis to the comments thread, it consists entirely of Davison talking to himself or ranting at another person whose posts have been deleted.

  26. says

    Carlie: No, he said “rank rank!” In other words, a rank (position) that is rank (smelly nigh unto the heavens!)

  27. FishyFred says

    Wow. I truly can’t believe he is sane.

    He’s not. He literally lost his marbles in the mid-80s and has been a raving loony ever since.

  28. FishyFred says

    Whoops. “Literally” is the wrong word. I mean that he is literally not sane, so the fact that you joke about it is funny.

  29. Foggg says

    Imagine Sartre had known Davison, Farfarman and DaveSpringer & made them his hell-confined protagonists in No Exit.

    So this is hell. I’d never have believed it. We were told about the torture-chambers, the fire and brimstone, the “burning marl.” Old wive’s tales! There’s no need for red-hot pokers. Hell is – these two other people!

  30. says

    It’s got to be some sort of brilliant, Andy-Kaufman-esque parody.

    I mean, this is comedic genius: “[I]t is my responsibility to use every venue at my disposal to further the contributions of my predecessors to my own extension of their convictions in the form of a discussion of the subject of this blog.”


    But what I want to know is why Dichard Rawkins doesn’t have the cajones to show up in this guy’s blog and refute his arguments. It’s just like how Jngelina Aolie refuses to address my arguments on my blog as to why I’d be a better lover than Prad Bitt. Some people are afraid to confront the truth.

  31. says

    In the immortal words of Jon Fleming, “He couldn’t get a clue if he was drenched in clue pheromones, dancing in a clue field in the middle of clue mating season, wearing a clue suit, and shouting, “Clooo! Cloooo! “

    Omigod, Andy, now I’m rolling on the floor laughing!

  32. lovepettis says

    A little peripheral, but I just found the best word to describe intelligent design’s remake from creationism, and thought I’d share:

    palimpsest PAL-imp-sest, noun:

    1. A manuscript, usually of papyrus or parchment, on which more than one text has been written with the earlier writing incompletely erased and still visible.
    2. An object or place whose older layers or aspects are apparent beneath its surface.

  33. Neslock says

    You know what would have been really funny? If PZ had made the first 130 or so comments to this post…

  34. slpage says

    I am so flattered and proud – he actually told DaveScot that he is worse than me…

    True, Davison is most likely senile (he is definitely a crank), but he did at least get one thign right (re: DaveScot):

    “You are an arrogant, domineering, intellectual bigot who is being used by a closet religious fanatic who doesn’t even believe in evolution.”

  35. slpage says

    Also note that Davison’s intellectual equal and pal Phil Engle, architect and evolution disprover, has weighed in…

  36. says

    JAD actually did make a biology funny, though (this one intentional). I liked his new species Sus springeriana (by comparison, Sus scrofa domesticus is the domestic pig).

    Those two need to get a room.

  37. Sean Foley says


    I suspect the next four installments will be

  38. George Cauldron says

    Sometime soon we can expect

  39. TheBrummell says

    “I welcome any comments about my published papers including my unpublished “An Evolutionary Manifesto: A New Hypothesis For Organic Change.” I will tend to ignore any denigrations either of myself or my distinguished sources.”

    OK, those two statements were worth a Kilo-Coulter of Dain Bramage each. Ouch.

    I really, really want to comment about his published unpublished work.

  40. says

    How about

    after which, a nice change of pace; something more literary

    “According to Dinger” would be a great name for a blog.

  41. says

    Anyway, and a little sadly, it really does seem he is due for assisted living somewhere; it has all the hallmarks of someone who is not longer altogether present, intellectually.

  42. goddogit says

    The punchline (not that the lack of one lessens the level of humor provided bu JAD) will be if he takes the advice of those who have explained how to open new topics, instead of starting an entire new blog, only to then only allow himself one comment before opening a new thread.

  43. Rey Fox says

    “[I]t is my responsibility to use every venue at my disposal to further the contributions of my predecessors to my own extension of their convictions in the form of a discussion of the subject of this blog.”

    …in the house that Jack built.

  44. sockatume says

    Dr. Wilson: Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?
    Dr. House: They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.

  45. CCP says

    these comments, that’s what’s hilarious.
    some of you people are pretty funny.
    Got that?
    Write that down.

  46. George Cauldron says

    these comments, that’s what’s hilarious.
    some of you people are pretty funny.
    Got that?
    Write that down.

    You forgot to say “I love it so!”

  47. rrt says

    It just got better (if that’s even possible), although my amusement at this is starting to sour as I’m better grasping his genuine, sad lunacy. Anyway, Davison recently posted the following in response to some comments that he needs to learn how to make new posts (with a bit of editing out of unrelated ranting):

    This is for all those who disapprove of the way I run my blog. There are a couple of reasons that my system is vastly superior to the usual method of introducing threads for discussion.

    Sequential threads disappear into the sunset as they are replaced by new entries. My system is like history, continuous, complete and, since I hesitate to delete threads, irrevocable and permanent.


    Another, and much more important reason for my system, is that I have, to borrow a phrase from Dichard Rawkins, a “product to sell.” It is called the Prescibed Evolutionary Hypothesis (PEH). I am not in the least bit interested in what other people have to say about either Fundamentalist, Bible-waving Creationism or Darwinian, chance-worshipping mysticisim. I have nothing but perfect contempt for both camps.

    I have absolutely no clue how that second reason relates to his “vastly superior system.”

  48. Annie Miz says

    Even though I think this guy is a nut, I felt bad that he seemed so clueless about making new posts vs. adding comments to one post. I sent him a polite, neutral (in that I didn’t say one way or another what I thought about him or his ideas) email suggesting how and why he might want to consider making new posts. I was concerned that I might be aiding, abetting and giving comfort to a new and improved nut, but it just seemed so pathetic….

    Well, there was no need to worry. I see others have made the same suggestion via comments at his blog and he’s told such folks to, basically, piss off and that his method is ‘vastly superior’ to the new post method…something about old posts disappering ‘into the sunset’ and his system is ‘like history, continuous, complete…irrevocable and permanent’. I’m just glad he ignored all the advice and now I won’t have any regrets about helping to create a more annoying nut.

    BTW, is it unusual in his field to retire at the associate professor level with that much service? Just curious.

  49. says

    Someone I know (a clinical psychology student) once suggested that one could get a lot of psychopathology data by studying web boards and stuff …

  50. says

    I’m flummoxed by the header of the “New” Prescribed Evolution blog:

    This blog is an extension of my earlier “Prescribed Evolution” blog which got cumbersome with over 800 posts.

    He says posts, not comments. The idea that he might have had “800 posts” on the previous blog renders a peculiarly off-base notion that he ever had that much to say.

    Sorry to play “Captain Obvious” here, but geez!

  51. Roadtripper says

    I hadn’t seen seen “Davison Runs For Office” before. But as usual, truth is stranger than fiction. Here’s the true story of Dr. Davison’s bid for the office of governor of Vermont:

    Enjoy, as the good Doctor holds forth on a variety of issues including education, gun control, the free press, and composting toilets.

  52. Matthew says

    The thing is, if he can figure out how to make new blogs each time then he can figure out how to make new posts. So it seems to me that he knows what he’s doing. He’s just batshit crazy. He’s right, his old blog did get cluttered. Even text takes a while to load when it’s 800 comments long.