Ahh, the distinct scent of Squirrel Person scalp.


unretouched congressional portrait of
Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz

Well, well, well. If it isn’t the notorious Debbie Wasserman Squirrel, chair of the DNC, finally resigning under pressure from every angle on the eve of the party’s nominating convention.

Readers of this blog will no doubt recall her breathtaking incompetence, as well as her habit of standing with Republicans on their despicable votes on issues as diverse as the Drug War, the TPP/TTIP trade deals, private prisons and payday lenders. She has long been under heavy fire from multiple DNC Vice chairs, rank and file Democrats, the Sanders campaign and high-profile progressive groups and pundits, who accused her of deliberately orchestrating Democratic primaries to favor Clinton over Sanders and then lying about it. None of that got her fired of course, even though all of it is true. If anything, it could only have helped boost her position among her fellow conservative Democrats Squirrel People, who have long held the power center of the Democratic Party.

But then some Russian hackers got hold of the DNC’s email, and Wikileaks published them. Among the more damaging disclosures was her team trash-talking big donors. You see, if there was one thing Debbie Wasserman Schultz was exceptionally good at, it was fundraising. And, well, I’m sure you can see why that would turn out to be her Achilles heel.

Naturally, she proved as hard to get rid of as a squirrel infestation.

Two reliable sources say Wasserman Schultz was trying to make top aides take the fall, rather than take personal responsibility. Until the end, she struggled to understand what a lightning rod she’s become.

“There was a lot of drama,” a Democratic member of Congress involved in the discussions leading up to her resignation [said]. “She made this as painful as she could. She did not want to go… She wasn’t going to resign until the president called her. She put a lot of people through hell.”

Even the Clinton camp pressured her to resign, which, you know, holy shit. It finally took a phone call from President Obama—who originally installed her as head of the DNC in the first place—to get her to see that her run as DNC chair was finished.

In a statement, Obama said he was “grateful” for Wasserman Schultz’s service. “Her fundraising and organizing skills were matched only by her passion, her commitment and her warmth,” the president said.

Democratic strategist and Clinton ally Donna Brazile will be taking over as the interim chair.

Brazile, a vice chair of the convention, also was caught up in the leak. Asked for comment in an email from a Washington Post reporter about negotiations between the Sanders campaign and the DNC about the composition of the party’s convention committees, Brazile forwarded the reporter’s request to DNC officials.

“I have no intentions of touching this,” she said. “Why? Because I will cuss out the Sanders camp!”

Meanwhile, the Democrats mentioned as permanent replacements are:

former Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm, [Squirrel Person and former chair of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee] Rep. Steve Israel of New York and EMILY’s List President Stephanie Schriock. All are loyal supporters and trusted allies of Clinton.

So not to worry. It’s all good now.



Usually conservatives aren’t very good at this, but I have to admit this is a fine specimen of mockery:


Hahaha. Awesome.


  1. says

    So here’s a weird thing… my dad used to be the Hazan Sheini (second cantor) at Bnai Torah Congregation in Boca Raton, FL. That was (is?) DWS’s synagogue. She used to wax poetic about Dad’s singing voice, even stating that she started coming to synagogue more because of him. None of us even knew her political positions when we first met her. We found out shortly after, when Dad commented that she was rarely at shul after he’d been there a year. We were told that she was the chair of the DNC. Dad, of course, is a soft Republican (I say “soft” because today’s Republicans would consider him a RINO or even a Democrat), but he and DWS got along great even after he found out. We even had dinner with her and a bunch of other people once at a place in Boca called J Byrd’s Muddy Waters (best. Fish tacos. Ever.).

    She seemed like just the nicest, sweetest, friendliest person. She was funny, personable, and very happy. In every way, she seemed like a great person.

    I didn’t really discover any of the problems with her until after Mom and Dad moved to Long Island for Dix Hills Jewish Center. Mom and Dad had no clue until, basically, now. They expressed absolute shock that someone they considered a friend could end up being this terrible. All I can think is “she is very good politician”.

    Makes me wonder if we ever really knew her at all…

  2. Crimson Clupeidae says

    1) Donna Brazile was also implicated as being on the side of the DNC actively trying to stop Bernie.
    2) Clinton has already appointed DWS to her campaign.

    It’s not that this is surprising in any way, but can Clinton be more tone deaf and out of touch if she tried?

  3. Raucous Indignation says

    Of course Clinton already appointed DWS to her campaign. It’s all just business as usual.

  4. invivoMark says

    I think the Clinton campaign has forgotten that you’re actually supposed to (metaphorically) kill the scapegoat.

  5. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @invivoMark, #5:

    One might fantasize that, “Keep you friends close…” was on Clinton’s mind, but it’s stretching the limits of my thinker-upper to believe that Clinton actually had the 2nd half of that phrase in her head when hiring DW”I know nothing!”S.

  6. dianne says

    I’m glad DWS is outta there, but I can’t help but wonder why no one is calling for Brad Marshall’s scalp. Brad’s the one that actually wrote the email that everyone’s so upset about and he’s the CFO so he’s hardly an underling with no power. Yet he’s getting away with almost no personal criticism and no one that I’ve seen has asked why he hasn’t resigned yet. I strongly suspect that Brad’s Y chromosome is protecting him from the criticism that Schulz and Clinton are experiencing.

  7. chigau (違う) says

    Speaking of feeding squirrels…
    does anyone have a good recipe for cherry-fed squirrel?
    My tree was full and now it’s empty.
    I know who is responsible.
    I can hear them.

  8. says

    chigau (違う)

    Here’s a recipe for Cherry Squirrel Kebabs, and I think using your cherry-fed squirrels would really bump it up to something special.


    16 oz. squirrel meat, properly aged and cut into 1 inch chunks
    1 onion, coarsely chopped
    1/2 cup sunflower oil
    2 cups cherry brandy

    Combine onion, oil and cherry brandy.
    Add squirrel pieces and coat thoroughly. Cover and chill for 5 hours.
    Preheat grill to hot. Using metal skewers, pierce centers of each piece until full.
    Balance skewers on a grill pan and cook for 5 minutes each side, or until juices run clean.
    Serve hot with a spinach salad and soft crusty rolls.

    I’m thinking I might try pairing it with one of the fruitier French Rosés. I look forward to your tasting notes!