that title may sound like another bad cancer result but no, this was just a weird dream. i got a cryptic letter that said something like this feces was from four years before sample date, and was expressing my confusion outdoors when a neighbor explained a probable reason.
he’d had a cause to do a fecal test with mail-in results and it included radioactive isotope dating, which had a range of accuracy no better than a few years, so the letter was saying a range of possible dates for the shit.
meanwhile, side plot. we had lost this cool unit in the cul-de-sac, and nobody had moved in yet. i lamented to dooky neighbor that the place was nice and i missed it.
for some reason i still had access, like maybe the realtor had just left it unlocked or was having an open house in the middle of the night, and i went in, shutting the door behind me. from outside, i started getting strange abuse, people yelling at the house. something about hating our brush?
i was surprised by someone trying to come in the back door and scared them off, then went back to the front door. somebody was there and i bullied him into explaining.
they were with something of a shadow HOA and were bothering me about the faults they had with the way we kept the unit. there was a handbrush embedded in the front door, like an odd bit of hurricane aftermath. i saw the lady across the cul-de-sac with her homies.
i yelled we can’t get it out, it’s not even our door anymore, fuck you bitch! the last three syllables i said aloud, waking myself up. my husband is trying to sleep sitting up and had a coughing fit.
i gave him a cough drop and told him to keep it outside his teeth to minimize choking hazard, which seems to have worked.
now i’m trying to go to sleep again. gnite.
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