Feet are Weird

In other news, I am not high. Or maybe the reason I don’t have to smonk big weed is that I think stoner thoughts all the time. So. Feet are weird. I’m doing a 3d art project for someone and when you think about us as the apes we are, our hind paws are extremely weird. What wild-ass ape decided to walk like this, got all her gente on board, and resulted in that wedge-shaped stiffened clumsy nonsense of an extremity?

I normally don’t have a problem with feet – the way they look and whatnot – but I know a lot of people who dislike them. And we all know there are people with an erotic interest in them. Love or hate, they’re charged. What do you think about feet? Whatever you think, you gotta admit. Feet are weird.


  1. Ogvorbis wants to know: WTF!?!?!?! says

    Feet are definitely weird.

    I just tried Gogol and couldn’t find it (I do not even qualify for a White Belt in Googlefu). I do recall reading, some years (decades?) ago, that human feet are a perfect example of evolution in process. Some feet, viewed from above, have an offset coffin shape (narrow, wide, wider, widest, narrow) and some are wedge shaped (narrow, wide, wider, widest, where the hell do I put my fifth toe?). And that our shoes are designed to fit average feet. Not median feet, not the two basic types of feet, but what is in between.

    My feet are wedge shaped, but with an incredibly high instep, and (what used to be) really high arches. I still have the high instep, but my arches are falling (my kingdom for a quoin!).

    I have never found feet attractive. Mine doubly so (I could star as a foot model in a commercial: for the ‘before treatment’ part). I do have a friend who is obsessed with feet. And he dreams of someday finding a woman with feet the exact right shape to allow foot sex. I have not asked for details.

  2. Arctic Ape says

    I once watched a live Polynesian dance show and felt mesmerized by the dancing women’s bare feet, repeatedly stepping on the stage and lifting up, softly changing shape with the pressure. I’d say this is not an erotic fetish, because I do have erotic object fetishes and I know the difference.

    Lately I’ve been watching a lot of hula wahine kahiko (women’s traditional hula) on YouTube. My interest in hula is not mostly about feet (and there’s generally no close focus to the dancer’s feet) but boy do those women work their legs and feet.

  3. says

    Feet are frustrating
    Other peoples feet are fascinating
    Feet are a place to hang your shoes
    Bare feet are surprisingly useful at picking up dropped pens
    Toenails make a great canvas
    Feet hurt a lot
    Feet are percussive instruments
    Feet dance
    Feet tickle
    Feet are sense organs
    Feet have more inches than toes

  4. Ogvorbis wants to know: WTF!?!?!?! says

    Lofty @6:

    Bare feet are surprisingly useful at picking up dropped pens

    Wife is mildly weirded out that I can pick up the bathmat with my toes and lift it high enough to grab it with my hand so I can drape it over the shower curtain bar. I developed this over the summer after I broke my back. I can also pick up my socks and/or underwear, kick it up into the air, and catch it so I can put it in (or near) the dirty laundry basket.

    WMDKitty @8:

    And don’t get me started on the foot-prisons you call shoes.

    So far, in my life, I have found exactly three pairs of shoes that are comfortable:

    1. Durango cowboy boots: moderate heel, nice arch support, plenty of room for my instep.
    2. A pair of Cuda gum shoes: small heel, I can stand on ice while wearing them, they are waterproof to a couple of inches, and I can slide them off or on without touching the laces.
    3. A pair of Chippewa wildland fire boots: moderate heel, lug sole, calf-high lace ups, waterproof to about 10 inches, and I can wear them (at a fire) for 17 hours and still be comfortable.
    4. (okay, I forgot about these) A pair of Teva sandals with the ankle bands (but I cannot drive in them!)

    All other shoes, including ski boots, are foot-prisons that cause cruel and unusual punishment to my foots

  5. says

    This is getting elaborate. Lofty droppin’ beats at post 6, WMDK furryin’ out, and Ogv making found poetry at 9. Will somebody think of the childrens? I suppose this is to be expected in the House of Satan. Carry on as you will.

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