Headline Muse, 3/22

The cops have to pick up the slack
They’re too worried ‘bout media flak
You can’t be a goodie
While wearing a hoodie
So shoot him, for “walking while black”.

Headline: Uproar over Florida teen’s death focuses on race

No, I wouldn’t have chosen that headline for this verse. That headline is what showed up when I clicked a link saying “Neighbors stand by George Zimmerman” on CNN.com’s front page. Were it not for my Grandfather’s years living in Florida, I would not, could not understand how Zimmerman’s neighbors could stand by him in this case.

I am disturbed beyond saying by the Trayvon Martin story. My colleagues here at FtB have written about it, but it has not been, and can never be, enough. I blame Florida, as an entity of government, as much or more than I blame Zimmerman (whom I do not hold blameless).

100 Percent Certain!

I’m right, cos I’m right, which I knew all along
I am certain—one hundred percent!
There is zero percent of a chance I am wrong
And I’m certain I said what I meant.

There’s no reason for me to be changing my mind
Like that Dawkins, all wriggly and squirmy
No reason to look at the evidence, either—
I know it will only confirm me.

I’m pointing at Dawkins with utter delight
While his atheist followers grieve,
Cos I’m certain the way we decide who is right
Is how strongly believers believe!

Fun stuff, after the jump: [Read more…]

Headline Muse, 2/25

To the editor: Please, I am urging—
There’s a phrase that could really use purging;
There are words we can choose
To say “win” or say “lose”—
But why must Santorum be “surging”?

Headline: Down to the wire in 2-man GOP race in Michigan

Oh, yeah.

FLINT, Mich.—Republican Mitt Romney fought Saturday to prove he is the strongest challenger to President Barack Obama, an increasingly difficult task given the tight race in his native state of Michigan against surging conservative Rick Santorum.

The first time a headline spoke of “Santorum surging from behind”, it was clever and disgusting. Now it’s just old. Can we maybe up the ante with “what can we expect next from this asshole?”?

The Prayer Activist

Gonna get me a pen and a paper
Gonna write to the head of the board
I’ll tell him, in schools
The majority rules,
So each day they should pray to the Lord

Gonna get me some paint and a placard
Gonna make me a beautiful sign
And I’ll make myself heard
While defending The Word—
The opinion that matters is mine!

Gonna write to my members of Congress
Gonna reach anyone I can reach
Cos school prayer is a right
That’s deserving of fight!
It’s a matter of freedom of speech!

Gonna get me a laptop computer
Gonna blog me a story today
I’ll scream it; I’ll shout it,
I’ll rant it; I’ll pout it,
I’ll spew it and spout it
No reason to doubt it—
The fact that I don’t know a damned thing about it
I’ll never let get in my way.

[Read more…]