The rapture is coming this April twenty-third
Which is clearly revealed if you study God’s Word
But it’s all new to me; I’ve just recently heard
And I’m shocked at the news I’m receiving
While the rest of us pay for the wrath we’ve incurred
The believers, they will be leaving
It’s a tale of God’s glory, and a tale of God’s wrath
And the terrible justice and judgment God hath
With humanity here on a difficult path
We must always be true, but we’re weaving
We’ve crunched all the numbers and done all the math
The believers, they will be leaving
So wives leave your husbands, and husbands, your wives
And it’s too late to care about your teenagers’ lives
And remember, it’s better if no one survives
For the ones who remain will be grieving
We’ll know it when April the 24th arrives
The believers, they will be leaving
So leave your possessions; abandon your jobs
Go proselytize to the uncaring mobs
Their laughter today very soon will be sobs
As with sorrow their sides will be heaving
You’re a beacon of hope for the atheist snobs
The believers, they will be leaving
Go tell all your family; go tell all your friends
To pray for forgiveness and make their amends
There’s limited time till the universe ends
And no more that they should be achieving
They should grasp for the hand the lord Jesus extends
The believers, they will be leaving
There are some who look forward to that terrible day
When told of the Rapture, they solemnly say
Just don’t let the door hit your ass on the way
If you’re stealing away, then get thieving
And the ones left behind will shout hip hip hooray
The believers, they will be leaving
If this sounds familiar (last time, it was May 21st, 2011), just think of how many times the end of the world has been predicted. I think I have probably written half a dozen posts on the current end of times prophecy in the decade I have been writing this, and have witnessed a good many more before that. There is nothing new to it, and come April 24th, very few people will have changed their minds (well, if I am wrong and the end of the world does come, I hope I would have the sense to change mine).
But my real reason for posting this is selfish. For real-world reasons, I have some interest in this particular prediction, but I only have one set of eyes. If you happen to see any stories (local, regional, national, or global) about this end of the world, please pass them on to me! Don’t worry if maybe someone else has already given me a link–sometimes different versions have different cut-offs on the story, or some local perspective. Something that makes this one different. Or shows how, once again, it is the same thing.
Or
The times are a-changin’, but History repeats
And new eyes can witness the same old conceits
It’s a shiny new drum, but it plays the same beats
Repetition we’re just now perceiving
So notice the patterns and save your receipts
The believers, they will be leaving
richardelguru says
“…But all of the prophets can’t be all right all of the time”
I think Abraham Lincoln said that.
“I’ll let you be in my apocalypse if I can be in yours” I said that.
gAytheist says
The Washington Post had a rather amusing way of dealing with this latest prediction: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2018/04/13/just-kill-us-already-planet-x/?utm_term=.a09abff1e55f
StevoR says
Late to this so just going to note its already May 31st now and , yeah, predictably no apocalypse natch!
PS. Hope you are going well and best wishes to you and yours Digital Cuttlefish.