Binders Full Of Wrong

Let’s say you’re in charge of the hiring and firing—
You’re after a woman who’ll answer to you.
Assuming you’re needing a binder to find ‘er
You’re likely admitting you don’t have a clue
Despite your executive power, you cower,
Cos all of your partners, for years, have been men
You’re frightened to look past the he-males, at females—
Accustomed to capons, you don’t want a hen.

Your yes-men will tell you, debating’s creating
An alternate viewpoint; an alternate world.
Available polls seem to notice the POTUS
Is there at the top, with his banner unfurled.
The strategy thus far you’re trying (that’s “lying”)
May work in the short term, but not in the long;
The truth, though (the stuff you’re not saying)’s dismaying
Your lies do all right, but your truth is all wrong

Ok… I offer this verse as proof that I have no standards to speak of. Even *I* think it sucks. It doesn’t follow a consistent narrative, and it doesn’t make a point that actually makes sense. I suspect it was a good idea to start with, but this is one that anyone with standards would have introduced to the recycling bin.

But I had to get it out of me. It started asserting itself into my consciousness, and I tried to ignore it. That didn’t work. I had to finish it. Having done so, I disliked it, but post it because… I don’t know, really. It’s much more like an obsessive ritualistic behavior than creating poetry.

Speaking of getting things out of me… a wonderful romp through the woods a few days ago with the Cuttledog meant that this morning I found a deer tick dug into my shin. Yanked it out, put antibiotic ointment on it…and wished it had been a dog tick instead, as disgusting as those are. Wondering now–should I just assume that the bastard had Lyme disease, or wait and keep looking for the bullseye rash? (No, I’m not a complete idiot–I’ll be calling my doctor and asking. I just thought I’d ask here too, just because I’m sick to death of grading.)


  1. Trebuchet says

    You probably need to check the dog for ticks as well. At least you didn’t find a Romney dug in.

  2. Cuttlefish says

    Good point. I have found a *bunch* of burrs on Cuttledog, but no ticks yet. He did, though, test positive for Lyme at his last checkup.

  3. ibbica says

    Hey do you have cats? If not, you could soak your ‘walking through tick-infested woods’ with permethrin (or similar). Soak or spray, then let ’em dry, works a treat at killing the suckers before they manage to sink their mouthbits into you.

    Theoretically, permethrin-soaked clothes should be safe around even cats, once they’ve dried. I personally still wouldn’t recommend it, just to be on the safe side. With kitties in the house, we’ve been relying on repellents; picaridin seems to work not too badly.

  4. ibbica says

    (Oh, and to answer the question you actually asked: I’d look up the prevalence of Lyme in the ticks in your area before worrying too much. But yeah, obviously talk to your doc!)

  5. ibbica says

    Oh, brother. “you could soak your ‘walking through tick-infested woods’ clothes (socks, pants, shirt, shoes if they’ll take it) with permethrin”

    I’ll shut up now :P

  6. says

    You don’t just pull ticks out. That way the head may stay in. You pour oil on them, then remove them in a screwing motion, taking care to get the head out as well.
    And I say that as a former Black Forest, resident where ticks are endemic, and tick-borme disease not uncommon.

    Oh, and FtB, why do you call me a “Possible Imposter” everytime I enter my login info by hand?

  7. coragyps says

    You might not like today’s verse, my sepid friend, but the line with “capons” made my morning!!

  8. rebecca says

    Oh well, I guess I have no standards either, because I *loved* your verse, as always.

    As for de-ticking yourself and your dog: I enthusiastically recommend a little tool you can get at your vet’s office or pet store. It looks like a little spoon with a notch in it, and costs about a dollar, I think. You scoop the tick into the notch, and it lifts right out, head and all. It’s easy and works great! We use it, unfortunately, ALL THE TIME. Yuck.

  9. says

    You know, I thought this part

    The strategy thus far you’re trying (that’s “lying”)
    May work in the short term, but not in the long;
    The truth, though (the stuff you’re not saying)’s dismaying
    Your lies do all right, but your truth is all wrong

    was actually really good. I see what you mean about it not having a good overall narrative, but I think a lot of the parts are good on their own. And, like coragyps, I also enjoyed the line about the capons.

  10. Nepenthe says

    You should at least watch out for the symptoms. A significant proportion of people infected do not get the “bullseye” rash and then the infection just looks like the flu. The incubation period can be pretty long too.

    But overall, your chance of being infected with one bite is super low, even if Lyme is present in your area.

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