Michigan’s Vocabulary Lesson

What she said was so offensive
We must ban her from the floor!
We can’t use that sort of language
In the State House any more!
It displays her immaturity—
She’s perfectly aware
That the proper designation
Is the whispered “ummm… down there

In case you are the last person on the planet to hear about this, of course I am referring to the Great Michigan Vagina Kerfuffle, in which we learn that the Republican House leaders have so little respect for some parts of women’s anatomy they will not hear them named on the House floor. V stands for Voldemort, you know, so V words should not be named.

Or some such reasoning.


  1. Crudely Wrott says

    Well, I guess that rules out using the word “penis” in any legislative proceedings.

    Ya know, this is really gonna make it tough when legislating sex crimes.

    He put his thing in her thing
    Despite her shrill protests
    And thought the nails
    That raked his back
    Meant “baby you’re the best”

    A judge asked “Son what part of no
    Do you not understand”
    “She meant” he answered open faced
    “She was so glad that I am
    The best in all the land”

    “What was the thing that you put in”
    The judge asked with a leer
    “And just where did it go in
    The law most clearly states
    You can speak plainly here”

    “Ah, judge” he spoke most earnestly
    “Such terms are not allowed
    In proceedings such as these
    I’ll just say that when I got
    The very best of her
    She got the very worst of me”

    Fractured and furious verse, hastily done. The shallow fears and reticence of politicians and priests raise daily hell with my sense of rhythm. Apologies for style but not for content.

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