The Dirtiest Word In Politics: “Atheist”

In case you’d forgotten, we thought we’d remind you
With data that show a continuous trend
The electorate never will gather behind you
Unless you declare your invisible friend

Political races are known to be dirty—
With negative messages, branding, and hype;
The numbers today show at best around thirty
Percent who would vote for an atheist type

Yes, “godless” is hopeless in voters’ opinion
A view in which humans are nothing but beasts
Morality’s seen as the church’s dominion
(As evidenced clearly by pedophile priests)

Two thirds of the country is “somewhat” or “very
Uncomfortable” letting an atheist lead;
They’d rather Santorum, or Gingrich, or Perry—
They’re morons, but morons who follow a creed.

Until and unless they have power and money
They won’t be invited, or asked to the dance
The clowns are in charge, but it just isn’t funny:
In politics, atheists don’t stand a chance.

Context, after jump:

The Public Religion Research Institute released its 2011 American Values Survey yesterday. Among other findings, atheists suck. According to voters, anyway. A full two thirds of americans would be somewhat or very uncomfortable with an atheist president. Fewer than a third would be somewhat or very uncomfortable with an evangelical president.

That’s right, when it comes to the person who will have access to our nuclear arsenal, we want someone who believes in heaven and expects to go there.

When it comes to environmental issues, we want someone who thinks the second coming will happen in this generation.

Disaster preparedness? Organized prayer.

I’m too depressed to continue–feel free to load up the comments with all the duties of the president, and why an evangelical is more appropriate for the office than an atheist.

Oh, and my apologies to my non-US readers; my title is definitely US-centric, and I should have specified, but it was already getting too long for my liking.


  1. omcdurham says

    “Atheism” is truly a bad word in politics. All it does is describe people who want equality, which apparently, the god-fearing sheep do not. As long as there is a ‘god’ amongst the voters, atheists will suffer as ‘anti-American’, or ‘amoral liberals’. Truly sad that there is no way for a truly progressive person to achieve political stardom in American society!

  2. rwahrens says

    Actually, this is good news, just a couple of years ago, that percentage was in the much lower double digits, and recently, we even beat the Tea Party in popularity!

    Coming up in the world, however slowly it may be…

  3. ajb47 says

    I suggest you read Proofiness by Charles Seifer if you haven’t already. It puts polls and surveys into perspective along with every other number you find in public.


  4. pzxdld says

    I liken being an atheist to “coming out of the closet” for a homosexual. It used to be completely taboo. Now it is becoming more accepted, although there is still incredible intolerance. I have no doubt I would suffer in my job and community if I were “out” as an atheist.

  5. Joan says


    The word “Communist”, at one time the pejorative of choice
    When you wanted to smear anyone or silence someone’s voice,
    Bowed to “Socialist”, cause “Commie” had begun to lose its glow.
    Now anyone’s a Socialist who favors public dough.
    Then came “Liberal”, which covered quite a bit at the same time.
    “You’re a bleeding hearted, welfare loving Lib’ral, soft on crime.”
    Enter “Atheist”, the grand daddy of ammo for the Right.
    With that name you are dead before you’ve even joined the fight.

  6. Makoto says

    Yes, and we all saw how well having an evangelical Christian worked out for Texas policy.

    Super heat wave / drought? Pray for rain! Tell the entire state to do so! Hold a big prayer rally, even! (And slash the firefighting budget, who needs it with God on your side, am I right?)

    Result? Why, of course God heard his prayers, and cooled the heat, and rain fell blissfully across the parched state.

    Or we had raging wildfires, towns literally without water, and so on and so forth. So of course that’s the kind of public policy I want to see in a President…

  7. changeable moniker says

    I’m sorry the voters,
    when choosing the POTUS,
    still reach for the one with his hand on the Word.

    Hope’s unrealistic?
    But there are statistics
    that, challenging, still give some hope for the future,
    when atheist beats out absurd.

    You did the double-dactyl thing again. I can’t resist!

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