When you cook a steak

So of course we have to take a look at the Christian Domestic Discipline Network – Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage.

Hello & Welcome to the Christian Domestic Discipline Network!

This website is intended to be a haven for those practicing Consensual Christian Domestic Discipline, and for those who ernestly wish to learn about Christian Domestic Discipline.

What is Christian Domestic Discipline?

In order to describe to you what is Christian Domestic Discipline, I’d first like to start with what it is not.

Christian Domestic Discipline is not domestic violence. Neither is it abuse. It is an arrangement between two adults who share the belief that the husband is the head of the household and with that position comes the right to enforce his authority.

An arrangement? Adults? Consensual? Is this discipline, or BDSM?

Christian Domestic Discipline is not BDSM. It is not a game. While we do not deny its sometimes erotic nature, it is ultimately not for erotic purposes. It is often much different than the domestic discipline you will find outside of the Christian faith.

Well that’s confusing. It’s erotic but it’s not BDSM. It’s erotic but it’s ultimately not for erotic purposes. I think they must be doing it wrong. The real thing isn’t supposed to be for erotic purposes even temporarily and en route.

A Christian Domestic Discipline marriage is set up according to the guidelines set forth in the Holy Bible, meaning the husband has authority over his wife within the bounds of God’s Word and enforces that authority, if need be, through discipline including but not limited to spanking. He uses his authority to keep peace and order in his home, protect his marriage, and help his wife mature in her Christian walk.

In a true Christian Domestic Discipline marriage, discipline is tempered with the knowledge that the husband must answer to God for his actions and decisions in his position of authority.

See? That’s not erotic! That’s authoritarian and bossy and you have to obey me. I think if these two are having fun while doing that, they’re doing it wrong and pissing off god!

[samples one article]

Oooookay this is totally erotica and the Christian stuff is just some kind of joke-window dressing.

When you discipline your wife, for either misbehavior or maintenance it is best to start slow and warm up her bottom, spanking her with less intensity and not going full force right out of the gate.

After a sufficient warm up you will be able to spank her with great intensity and a longer period of time, hence enforcing a proper punishment and the tears that are sure to flow.

Remember to take you time with the discipline, by spanking her longer you will find that the submission from her is greater than one done quick just to get it over with, By spanking her for a greater period of time also shows that you as her HOH take your responsibilities serious.

Most new HOH tend to start of thinking that by bringing her to tears they have accomplished the goal of LDD, this is not entirely true. If you spank with fast, hard swats you will cause her to cry, that is true, but you have failed to take into account what is truly needed. She needs and desires to submit to you and your decisions as her HOH, and by taking time to slow down the spanking and thoroughly punishing her she will find solace and be happier.

To make this a clearer to some, when you cook a steak, and use high heat to seer the top, and then try to eat it you will find the steak cold and unsatisfying, just like a woman might feel after a very brief but hard spanking, yes she cried but only out of pain and learned only pain from the spanking. But slowly warming her bottom up, you will be able to spank her longer.


I’ll leave you two alone now…


  1. Blanche Quizno says

    Yeah, more good rational sensible stuff from Christians that shows we need Christians to teach us all about morality and ethics and right living! I’ve long been a fan, in that I have enjoyed pointing and laughing at this subsect of Christian behavior (right up there with the poison-drinkers and snake-handlers) – and, of course, trotting it out to surprise unwitting Christians with and then pointing and laughing at their apoplexy. I’m not really proud of that…

    A lot of the best articles have been taken down (because of all the pointing and laughing, not only from me – I arrived rather late to the party, actually), but here are a couple of favorites:



    Enjoy O_O

  2. Blanche Quizno says

    Because, remember – when it comes right down to it, your wife is just a piece of meat.

  3. peterh says

    Consensual Christian Domestic Discipline™

    One more tent at the Fundamentalists’ Freak Show and Hog Wash Emporium.

  4. says

    I ran across that concept, though maybe not that specific site, a few years ago, and decided that yes, it is BDSM “sanitized” (except I think that it makes it worse) through fundy ideas on domestic roles. Somewhere among the link-following there was even an article on Christian Threesomes (IIRC, it’s not adultery as long as there’s no PIV. But everything else was OK).

  5. iknklast says

    BDSM? That assumes the wife enjoys the pain, doesn’t it? I don’t know – it’s not something I’ve been into, so I may be wrong.

    It sounds much more like domestic abuse to me. And the assumption that the wife is not a fully mature, thinking individual. It is the job of the husband to correct her behavior, just because she assumes she is a separate autonomous individual fully capable of making her own decisions (and her own mistakes, if they are mistakes). Plus, most of what they consider “bad behavior” is often not “bad behavior” in a modern society where women are considered people.

    Don’t tell the MRAs about this. They’ll be on board in an instant.

  6. says

    Me neither, but I assume it means that both people enjoy it (I also assume that in real BDSM for straights there’s no rule that says only the man can be the sadist and only the woman can be the masochist), which the website seems to be hinting at with the bashful admission of eroticism. So yeah – they enjoy it but it’s discipline, as in it’s a bad thing you don’t like to punish you to make you better. That’s why I think they’re doing it wrong. Wrong in their terms, that is.

  7. Dan says

    I don’t have a problem with consensual BDSM, but I fear making it Christian will lead to some fundie women feeling it’s their Christian duty to submit even though they don’t like it. Plus I don’t see any talk about consent or safe words here, or any negotiation on the rules…even if someone is sexually submissive, doesn’t mean they’ll like it if you just lay down all the rules for their life and spank them without their permission whenever they disobey.

    Would love to read that article on Christian threesomes though, if anyone can find a link. I fear googling will just lead to stories of threesomes with a guy named Christian.

  8. amrie says

    It’s BDSM – except that it’s not really consensual if the wife is a Christian and believes in this stuff. If it’s God’s will, then refusing to submit is sinful. “Consenting” with the threat of eternal torture hanging over you is worse than “consenting” with a gun to your head.

  9. says

    @8: Actually, just googling on “christian threesome” gets a bunch of links, not all of them negative (mind you, I won’t guarantee that some or all of them aren’t taking the piss).

  10. theobromine says

    That feeling one gets when one reads B+W and discovers that one’s spouse has been googling “Christian Threesomes” 😀

  11. phlo says

    This makes no sense – either it’s “consensual”, or it’s “the husband enforcing his authority”. You can’t have both at the same time!

    Can the wife refuse to be spanked? If yes, then the husband has no real authority and the whole thing is indeed a game (Christian BDSM). If no, then it’s not consensual, but rather domestic abuse.

  12. theobromine says


    The wife gives her consent, irrevocably and for life, when she enters into the Christian marriage as a covenant with her husband and with God.

  13. Trebuchet says

    I inadvertently ran across one of these sites a couple of months ago. Extremely creepy; horrifying and strangely fascinating at the same time.

  14. sacharissa says

    Greta Christina wrote a critique of CDD a long time ago and one of the stories in her book Bending is obviously inspired by it. In that story the relationship has gone from BDSM to domestic abuse but the woman cannot see it and doesn’t know what to do because the God element means that consent has been removed from the equation.

  15. Pieter B, FCD says

    I’ve been looking for one of those Christian BDSM pages with the unintentionally hilarious apologetics for Christian femdom play, and ran across this Dan Savage blog post title: Praise the Lord and Pass the Deluxe Adjustable Nipple Clamps.

  16. lorn says

    The term”Christian walk” caught my eye. Is it this one of those walks, preferably done in exceedingly high heels, with focused heel-toe action, extra sway and wiggle, and a subtle little bump of the pelvis at the end of each step? I’ve seen that with older high-end burlesque. Lots of moving parts and each of them doing several things at once. Very sexy.

    I have one theological question: Did Jesus do the Christian walk on the way up Calvary? That would be so kinky.

  17. phlo says


    People can’t sign away their human rights. That’s simply not possible in a civilised society.

  18. theobromine says


    I completely agree that it is an utterly uncivilized concept that someone would be able to give away their human rights (or fail to be granted them in the first place by virtue of their gender, skin colour, etc).

    However, the understanding of many religious people is that humans do not have any rights on their own beyond what is granted to us by deities as described in various holy books, and the accusation that such a position is “uncivilized” has little if any bearing on that understanding.

  19. phlo says


    I guess you are right that “You should be civilised!” is not a very convincing argument if people disagree on what this term even means. However, the point you make shows once again that religious dogma is incompatible with even the most basic understanding of human rights and human dignity.

  20. John Morales says



    However, the point you make shows once again that religious dogma is incompatible with even the most basic understanding of human rights and human dignity.

    Human rights and human dignity are beliefs, not facts.

    (Reality doesn’t care about such human conceits)

  21. phlo says

    @John Morales:

    And yet, these “human conceits” are necessary to build a society worth living in.

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