How much dog poop stirred into your cookie batter

Uh oh. A state-funded religious education program in Australia has been telling girls they’re sluts.

Parents and teachers have called for an urgent overhaul of religious education in schools after year 6 children were given material claiming girls who wear revealing clothes are inviting sexual assault, and homosexuality, masturbation and sex before marriage are sinful.

Students at Torquay College were presented with “Biblezines” as a graduation present at the end of their Christian education program, run by Access Ministries – the government accredited provider of religious instruction in Victorian schools.

The magazines, Refuel 2 and Revolve 2 – which intersperse the text of the New Testament with dating advice, beauty tips and music reviews – warn girls not to go bra-less because “your nipples are much more noticeable and a distraction and temptation for men”, and not to wear tube tops and low-rise jeans because men are “sexually stimulated by what they see”.

“The Bible says not to cause anyone else to sin. Are you putting sexual thoughts about your body into guys’ heads? If you are showing a lot of skin you probably are,” it states.

Yes, that’s what you want the state telling teenagers in schools, for sure.

The material, produced by the News Corp-owned Nelson Bibles, America’s largest Christian publishing house, also “exposes the lie of safe sex”, claiming that condoms condone promiscuity, and urges those who think they are gay never to act on it.

In response to an agony aunt-style question about, “How far can you go before you are no longer pure?”, the document reads: “Let’s put it this way: How much dog poop stirred into your cookie batter does it take to ruin the whole batter.”

Nice! Sex is dog shit! And by the way, you there with the nipples, you’re a slut.

Joe Kelly, principal of Cranbourne South Primary School – who last week spoke about how he was so concerned about religious indoctrination he has not allowed Access Ministries into his classrooms since 2012 – said the latest revelations reaffirmed his decision.

“This kind of material is disgraceful and this is why I strongly call upon the Education Department to instigate an immediate review of the practices of special religious instruction [SRI] providers with a view to having SRI taken out of our great public schools,” he said.

Quite right. I hope the Education Department listens.


  1. lordshipmayhem says

    And by the way, you there with the nipples, you’re a slut.

    Oh, goodie. We guys have nipples too, so that means we can be sluts too! …probably not the message they’re trying to send, methinks. After all, in their perverted world it’s the wimmin who need to be controlled most by slut-shaming.

    -(does slow burn)-

  2. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    I would assume the answer is zero. So, can we have zero of this religious dog-shit mixed into the education cookie batter, please?

  3. beardymcviking says

    But I have nipples and don’t wear a bra.. like almost never! I must be a slut, though I think they’d say worse about me if I did wear one*. Besides, it’d probably be uncomfortable with chest hair?

    Honestly, allowing these scumbags into schools is a huge mistake, and an embarrassing one.

    *I’ve got no problem with people wearing whatever they want, I’m just referring to the stigma that most conservatives have about it.

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