How to make guys like you

Here that, ladies and gentlemen? Nerds = awesome to date.

…Now, if only I knew how to find the cute godless nerds in Seattle – I think we’re all too busy hiding in our apartments reading blogs and playing video games to actually run into each other. What a conundrum.


  1. Adam says

    Honestly you probably are going to end up meeting someone or a couple of someones who will introduce you to a whole clique of someones who fit that description. And then after so long of not finding a single person like that, the amount of choices will make your head spin.At least that’s how it worked for me when I was there. I sure hope you manage to get there faster than I did!

  2. says

    My advice to my son (16) and my daughter (20) echoes the advice I heard from my father, 60 years ago: “Do your homework, so that you will amount to something!”However, I omit the last clause, because they will amount to something without my advice, and so have you.Oh, by the way, you can find my kids on FaceBook. They are super smart and nice.That, initself makes them attractive.

  3. says

    Bakh! Here I am, wondering where all the nerdy girls are! (And complaining to all my friends about how I cannot find them. Needy? Check.)Why do you mock me, oh Lord?! (In this case, God is a waffle stuck to the ceiling, so everyone’s happy.)Do know what we should do? Establish a convention that on online dating sites, all nerds/geeks/dorks put a certain string in their profiles, say, “nerd.” That way, we can just do a text search and find each other, without having to waste time reading the other 300 profiles.

  4. Terry says

    I want to find the Nerd girls here in Brisbane Australia. I think they are either all hiding or don’t want to admit their Nerdiness.

  5. Jwilder204 says

    OK Cupid is the online site of choice for atheistic nerds in search of … each other, really. (I was going to say “love” but there’s a good bit of hooking up going on there too.)

  6. GirlJack says

    Okay, so can we talk for a second about how this was the UK Weather Chanel website a minute ago? That was weird.

  7. asonge says

    OK Cupid is great once you filter for spelling. That filters out 90% of everyone on the site. Women can also spam the shit out of everyone and get very good responses. Men often do spam women, though, and it’s terrible because I’m stuck waiting for someone to message me. Though I do like the lawyer I’m currently dating, I had to wait for her to message me :/

  8. says

    Seriously, there is something about this guy that makes me want to climb into his lap and muss up his hair. As someone who traditionally has very poor impulse control, and given the fact that we live in the same city (when I’m stateside, anyway), it is probably best that we never meet.

  9. says

    Really, dude? I’m from Victoria, and yet most of the random-entertaining-geeks I follow on Twitter are female Brisbanites. So there must be quite a few of them…and I suspect the Mana Bar would be the best place to start looking for them.

  10. says

    Recently I’ve begun to think that the whole “Be yourself” advice is very solid but, without fail, never explained properly. The response is usually “But I’ve been being myself the whole time! It hasn’t worked so far!” but if that is your response then you very probably haven’t been being yourself.Frex, the “you” that you are around your family, or around your close friends, is probably reasonably confident, talkative, etc (although obviously there will be varying degrees depending on the person). What you are not, around these people, is shy and awkward, unwilling to take risks in conversation for fear of sounding stupid, etc. So if you’re acting all shy and awkward around someone you have a crush on, how is that you?The point of the advice, I think, is to stop all the silly self-censoring we do around people we’re worried won’t like us – because it’s not the real you. It’s not “You don’t need to contrive anything new, just be yourself.” it’s “Be yourself, and stop contriving this quieter, risk-averse version of you”.I may be tailoring the examples to things that I did/do, but you see my point.

  11. Inkhat says

    I remember a fellow grad student told me I should tone it down with the flirting. Flirting? I asked. Yes, he said, all the eye contact and smiling.I guess that’s all it takes.

  12. says

    The best reason to date a geek can (somewhat offensively, but succinctly) be summarized by Ron White – you can’t fix stupid.Speaking as a nerd married to a geek (and yes, I choose those contrasting terms on purpose), a large portion of the attraction is mental. And that means even after ten years of marriage, she’s still my best friend and the person I want to spend time with. (As for “is she hot”, well, I think so!)

  13. Ratshag says

    Couple years ago, a nerd wrote an e-mail to another nerd she’d met playing World of Warcraft, and told him she liked the silly stuff he wrote in his blog. Approximately five lust-filled days later, they both realized they were head over heals in love. And it only got better for us from there.Point being, video games and blogs? Sometimes they can be the gateway, not the impediment.

  14. LS says

    EhhhhhhhYes, Nerd Boys are great, but that’s a dangerous blanket statement. Because at LEAST 30% of Nerd Boys are Neckbeards-In-Training. And those Nerd Boys are *NOT* good people to date. I’ve heard Neckbeards recommend breast enlargement to women they’ve known for a week. Not out of spite, mind you, but because they found the woman’s personality attractive, and would want to date her if she had a better body. This kind of Nerd Boy is shockingly common, and would be really horrible to recommend to an awkward high school kid with self worth issues.

  15. Moky says

    Being anything besides nodding silently and being distant is considered flirting, so yeah, it really is.

  16. Guest says

    You ought to be careful, Jen! Mixing Vlogbrothers with Blag Hag could very easily result in a dangerously high concentration of awesome!Seriously, though John here and his brother Hank are some of my favorite people on the internet, and finding one of their videos on my favorite blog nearly made me fall out of my chair out of sheer amazement and glee.

  17. Peter B says

    Pedant alert: That would be “Hear that” not “Here that”, which, although in some circumstances could be an appropriate statement, probably isn’t intended here.

  18. says

    Yeeaah, I have a feeling that people who recommend dating nerds/geeks/dorks wholesale have probably never been to something like GenCon or DragonCon. Call them Neckbeards, Black Shoe Guys, meatbags, mouthbreathers… We all know them. The sheer amount of socially awkward/inappropriate behavior displayed by nerd men toward nerd women at these events is sometimes overwhelming.

  19. Jwilder204 says

    I’ve had a few friends who were “neckbeards.” Eventually most of them admitted they had asperger’s. The other two … had never been tested.

  20. Azkyroth says

    Like actually evaluated? Because I find that fairly surprising and The Usual Privilege Bullshit otherwise….

  21. says

    I think I’ve managed to work out what ‘just be yourself’ is supposed to mean.Don’t try to be something you’re not. You’ll just fuck it up and look like a fool.Take what you’ve got and make it work for you instead. Granted, this is easier said than done.

  22. nakedthougths says

    I find there are just as many sexist individuals in geekdom/nerdom as there are anywhere else. it is very frustrating.

  23. Jed says

    There is a big difference between having time to think of dating is grad school and having time to date in grad school. And if you date someone who is also in grad school it is great because it is someone who will not get upset when you spend all your time doing research because that is what they are going to be doing also.

  24. says

    Imagine my conundrum of living out in the country where to be a nerd is the stereotypical ‘outcast’, even at age 24.But, CONvergence is coming up in July, so…happy days.

  25. Hans says

    Just remember, if you do date someone while in graduate school, your committee needs to approve. And don’t date someone on your committee.

  26. MCMartel says

    Honestly, while it could just be the community that I’m in, but virtually all of the nerd girls are know are “taken” (I need a word that sounds less possessive, but isn’t as needlessly awkward as “not single” which is one word too many) I dunno what this guy us talking about that nerd girls are an underutilized romantic resource, could just be sampling bias.

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