I’m back from the Secular Student Alliance conference! I apologize again for the dearth of blog posts. I was itching to blog the whole time, but I didn’t have the time or the internet access. Lucky for you that in just a couple days, I’ll be pooping out 49 blog posts in a single day! Hopefully that will more than make up for my absence. But since I made the mistake of checking my email before flopping into bed, here’s one funny story you get from the trip.
I have realized that I should not drive bloggers.
Not because I hate bloggers or I’m a horrible driver or something. God just hates atheist bloggers in transit, apparently. When I had to pick up PZ from the airport, his flight arrived horribly late and I felt like I was going to kill both of us speeding off to our event. When I had to drive Greta Christina to Chicago, it was during a nasty blizzard, where we passed many cars in ditches.
And now I had a driving adventure with Hemant.
Hemant was nice enough to pick up me and my friend Mark on his way to Columbus, OH since we’re fairly close to him. Half way into the six hour drive we decided to switch so he could nap as a passenger, instead of behind the wheel. He pulls over and we trade places.
Me: Man, your side of the car is really hot.
Hemant: Huh, I was just going to say the same thing about your side.
A couple minutes go by and we realize the air conditioning magically broke right when we pulled over. Not the end of the world, but definitely unpleasant since it was in the 90s and humid. Thankfully we were all sweating like crazy, so I didn’t have to worry about my individual stinkiness.
I drive for a bit more. Hemant’s already sleeping.
Mark: Do you smell smoke?
Me: …Yeah.
In retrospect this should have been a red flag, but it smelled so similar to cigarettes we thought we were just driving by a particularly stinky area. Eventually it goes away, and I figure I’ll start to be worried if I see flames shoot out from under the hood.
We’re all dying from the heat, but the zoo is in sight. We’re just stuck waiting to turn at the light, and then we’re in the parking lot. Except there’s just one problem.
Me: Um, Hemant, nothing happens when I press the gas pedal.
Everyone: [insert explitives of your choice here]
Eventually after much restarting, the car decides to live again. I make it to the parking lot, trying not to ever come to a full stop. This was especially interesting when I needed to pay for parking and I’m trying to exchange money without coming to a full stop. We decide to just park the car, go to the zoo with the rest of the group, and deal with it later.
Dealing with it later = Realizing the car doesn’t start at all.
Thankfully my friend Mike was there with his own car and called AAA for us. So we spent the rest of the afternoon following a tow truck and scheming how we could possibly get back to Chicago without Hemant’s car. Eventually we found out his car could be fixed, and we were able to get back to Chicagoland in one piece.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about Hemant’s wallet.
I’m starting to think this is compelling evidence for the existence of a God who hates atheist bloggers – not enough to strike them down, but just enough to annoy them with horrible driving experiences. Hopefully I never have to drive Richard Dawkins around – I can’t imagine what major catastrophe would happen then.
Desu ex mechanica – and that’s why the damn thing won’t go anymore (everyone knows all technology is just voodoo with more metal than blood).
sounds like a similar problem I had a few months back. radiator broke and blew a gasket?
Think it might have more to do with the relative income of bloggers and their (in)ability to pay for a decent car or maintain one in working order. If there were a god, we would be so far outside the radar, much like we think about ants or paramecium!
I was itching to blog the whole timeThey make a cream for that, you know. ;)
It sounds like the car was overheating. I wonder why the temperature gauge didn’t rise up?http://laughinginpurgatory.blo…
Totally! My dad had to call tech support for a surround sound/HDTV receiver that wasn’t working, and even though everything was hooked up right, unplugging the cables and plugging them back in fixed it.The tech on the line called it “tech support voodoo”.
at least it was a simple system: as they get more complex they demand blood sacrifices. My experiment (a particle detector so various digital devices plugged into computers and logic stuff) had had two blood sacrifices already and it hasn’t been switched on. It goes live this thursday and I think it may take a limb to get it working….
Methinks the car’s machine spirit finds you an especially distracting heathen, Jen ;)
I was recently rear ended by an uninsured motorist, does that add to the list of God hating Atheist Bloggers?
Having dealt with crappy overheating cars, that kind of problem could have been simply a busted thermostat. Thermostat doesn’t work, so it doesn’t tell the fan to work, so the radiator doesn’t cool the engine -> engine dies.
You just described perfectly how superstition started.:)
It might just be Columbus. A couple of weeks ago, I drove from Chicago, where I live, to Columbus where my parents live. My car, which had been running fine until that point, decided to die when I arrived at my parents’ home. It needed a whole new engine!
I did the same thing. It was VERY expensive. I also blew my distributor and cracked a cylinder.Rule number one: if the air ever goes hot, turn off the car and find out why.
Sorta related to bloggers… Thought you might this link interesting… http://crispian-jago.blogspot….
Isn’t it more like deus in machina?
I just went on a round the country drive (Norway, small country) without a single mishap. Maybe it helped that the person beside me who did half the driving hasn’t made up her mind and that the people in the back seat are christians and probably prayed the whole time? Or maybe there is no god and things just happen?
Excellent point.I’ve used such language myself on occasion, but I try to be cautious about it – I’m always afraid people won’t realise I’m being tongue-in-cheek about it and they’ll take me seriously.The last thing I’d like to see happen is for joking discussion of superstition to promote more superstitious thinking.
I do not think that this particular trip had anything to do with atheists or bloggers, but with Ohio. I went to Rose-Hulman and my parents lived in MD. Every time anyone drove through Ohio the car broke. Every damn time.
Yer engine just overheated. It happens in really hot summers.It sucks balls but if you turn on the heater in your car it cools down the engine because it blows the heat off the engine and into your car. Having the air conditioning on just overheats the car faster.So I guess next time your car gets kind of puttery and it’s hot out, unroll the windows and crank the heat and see which strokes out first, you or the car.
Greatest final paragraph in a blog…ever. Personally, I believe in an angry, vengeful, immature god. Only such a creature would let me live 11 glorious dairy-loving years, only to strike me down with complete lactose intolerance! You almighty bastard!!
The bit about Richard Dawkins….I crashed my car when I was listening to his God Delusion lecture. Seriously.