Yes, like everything else, homeopathic remedies and treatments are getting more and more expensive. But not to worry. Here’s how you can pay for all your homeopathic remedies, and have just oodles of cash left over.
- Take a few sheets of newsprint and tear them up into squares about the size of your hand.
- Put the squares into a large garbage bag along with a dollar bill.
- Shake the bag vigorously at least 12 times (succussion).
- Reach in and pull out one of the squares, and dump the rest (save the dollar bill for later)
- Tear off a piece of the square, about as big as your thumbnail, and put it in a large garbage bag along with some fresh squares of newsprint. DO NOT RE-USE THE PREVIOUS SQUARES. This is very important.
- Go back to step 4, and repeat the whole process 6 times.
- The last time through, pull out the square and cut off a piece about the size of a dollar bill. Thanks to the principles of homeopathy, this little piece of paper is now worth about $284,500.
- Pay your homeopathic practitioner with the succussed newsprint, and make sure he or she gives you exact change.
Now you can not only pay for homeopathy, you should be able to afford a pretty nice house as well. Ask for your change in US currency, though. Banks don’t believe in homeopathy.