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Limbaugh knows who is responsible for shrinking penises!

It’s a good thing size doesn’t matter, because a new study suggests obesity and other factors may be reducing the once mighty male organ to a shadow of its former glory. But Rush Limbaugh has another culprit in mind: you conniving bitches are to blame!

Raw Story– The conservative radio host pointed to an Italian study which found that the average male penis was 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago. Researchers cited weight gain around the waist, smoking, stress and environmental pollutants as factors. But Limbaugh wasn’t buying that explanation.

“I think it’s feminism,” he declared. “If it’s tied to the last 50 years — the average size of [a male's] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years — it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else.”

What power women hold! Not only can they selectively knock out invader sperm while keeping the good guys swimming free, now they can shrink male genitals with mere thought power. /sarc

Ok, Rush et al, if your penis shrinks at the mere thought of women being able to read and vote, there may be a silver lining: you’re a giant dick from head to toe.

Comments

  1. callitrichid says

    I can’t believe this man is paid to share his opinions and not relegated to public access. Amazing.

  2. Nothing says

    Well, considering weight is the real factor, Rush must be REAL bitter and in need of a scapegoat. One can almost, ALMOST feel sorry for him.

  3. lanir says

    Eh. This and many other headlines about him could simply read “Rush Limbaugh is an uncouth jerk”. Not really news.

    I think a compare/contrast between Rush and any comedian whose schtick is being rude for laughs would be much more interesting and potentially accurate. Apparently they’re both telling dick jokes.

  4. hexidecima says

    poor poor powerless Rush. Since he’s anything but small around the waist and he smokes, no wonder he has to blame *anything* else but himself.

  5. says

    i’m with gregory, if it’s the transistor, then all the fatsos sitting in front of their computers all day have likely noticed shrinkage *looks down*, at least a little.

  6. markr1957 (Patent Pending) says

    I can but hope that the feminists keep it up until the dick known as Rush Limpo shrinks away to absolutely nothing. How would he know if his has shrunk anyhow? His gut is so obscenely huge he can’t have seen his pee-pee for years.

  7. Crudely Wrott says

    Humph. Mine is well over fifty years old and it hasn’t shrunk at all.

    *not counting swimming in cold water or waking up while camping out during the chilly seasons ;-)*

  8. davidct says

    Rush may be on to something. I understand that African witches do this all the time. Of course your have to believe to have a problem so Rush might be in trouble.

  9. StevoR says

    “Who?”

    I thought it was just cold temperatures.

    BTW. There are actually people who take anything Limbaugh says seriously these days? Really?

  10. StevoR says

    @7.hexidecima says:

    poor poor powerless Rush.

    I wouldn’t be too sympathetic if I were you.

    I gather Rush has plenty of cash and painkillers and ezy-H8 to console him.

    Which is more’n’ most of us. Don’t reckon he’s doin’ too badly.

    (Powerless? If only we could cut the juice to his rants eh?)

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