Peter Thiel, the obnoxiously rich right-winger and Trump-supporter who sued Gawker media into bankruptcy over unseemly stories about Hulk Hogan’s sex tape, is not satisfied. He’s now going after specific Trump stories he doesn’t like, and is bankrolling lawsuits about a couple of other Gawker stories.
In other words: A Thiel-funded attorney is helping a man sue Gawker Media over an article that comes nowhere near invading his privacy, concerns a clear matter of public interest, and explicitly states that the subject is not guilty of a crime.
You know what this means: we have to promote the news story that’s being attacked. And it’s actually a rather interesting story, unlikely news of Hulk Hogan’s infidelity and bedroom antics — it’s an article that tries to untangle the mystery of what the heck is going on with Trump’s weird, unnatural hair. It makes a pretty good case that what’s going on is that it is a very expensive, rather finicky specialized hair weave by a company called Ivari International, which costs about $60,000 to install and $300-$3000 a month to maintain. (You might want to file that information away for the next time someone complains about the cost of Clinton’s trips to a hair salon, because you know the media won’t ridicule a man for spending that much on vanity).
Ivari is suing for defamation, which is peculiar. Accurately describing the technology used to stitch hair extensions onto a balding man’s head is not defamatory, and the only thing I can think of that might be defamatory is that Ivari might not want its name associated with that creepy skein of floss everyone can see in every appearance of that Republican slimeball. I know that if I were in the market for fake hair, telling me that their technique produces the thinning dead animal that Trump wears would not be a selling point.
Maybe Ivari should sue Trump for flaunting his handiwork.
Trump the Chump sports a wig,
or it could be a toupee, too.
But I wouldn’t give a fucking frig,
if it really belonged in a zoo.
I’m not convinced ‘the public is interested in this matter’ is equivalent to ‘this is a matter of public interest.’
“(You might want to file that information away for the next time someone complains about the cost of Clinton’s trips to a hair salon, because you know the media won’t ridicule a man for spending that much on vanity).”
You left out a crucial word in the above quoted sentence. It should read:
“(You might want to file that information away for the next time someone complains about the cost of Clinton’s trips to a hair salon, because you know the media won’t ridicule a REPUBLICAN man for spending that much on vanity).”
Offered in evidence for this assertion: compare and contrast the media treatment of John Edwards’ $400 hair cut in 2007, versus that of former Playgirl centerfold Scott Brown (soundly beaten — thank goodness — by Senator Doctor Professor Warren)…
in honor of Drumph’s 70th birthday, here are 70 ways his hair has been described:
Seagull dipped in tikka masala
Bursting landfill of municipal solid waste
Mountain of rotting whale blubber
Sputum-filled Orange Julius
Gangrenous gaping wound
Racist, sexist block of aged Cheddar
Oversized wasp exoskeleton stuffed with old mustard
Neo-fascist real estate golem
Abandoned roadside ham hock
Bewildered, golden-helmeted astronaut who’s just landed on this planet from a distant galaxy
Monument to human hubris crafted out of rotting Spam
A walking pile of reanimated roadkill
Heaving carcass
Stately hot dog casing
Flatulent leather couch
Swollen earthworm gizzard
Narcissistic bowl of rotten gazpacho
Yellowing hunk of masticated gristle
A human/Komodo dragon hybrid
Blackening scab artfully hiding in your Raisin Bran
“Taco truck”
A man who could one day become the first hobgoblin to enter the White House
A pair of chapped lips superglued to a hairball
Horsehair mattress stuffed with molding copies of Hustler
Malignant corn chip
Human Kinder Egg whose inner surprise is a tiny pebble of rat shit
The sculpture your three-year-old made out of soggy ground-up goldfish snacks
A man with the hair of a radioactive skunk
Roiling Cheez Whiz mass
Cryogenically frozen bog man
A glistening, shouting gristle mass with a history of saying terrible and stupid things
Screaming giant cheese wedge
Republican frontrunner and 250-pound accumulation of rancid beef
Day-Glo roadside billboard about jock itch
Temperamental gelatinous sponge
Sentient hate-balloon
A Rumpelstiltskin inflated with a bike pump and filled with bacteria
Sun-kissed ass plug
Self-tanning enthusiast
An enraged, bewigged fetus blown up to nightmarish size
Parental pile of burnt organic material
Human-shaped wad of Gak
Walking irradiated tumor
Uncooked chicken breast
KKK rally port-a-potty holding tank
Neon-tinted hellion
A plentiful field of dung piled into the shape of a presidential candidate
Malfunctioning wind turbine
Seeping fleabag
Sloshing styrofoam takeout container filled with three-day-old mac and cheese
A sticky, grabby, Cheeto-hued toddler with no sense of adult deportment
Figurative rubber, and also literal rubber
A carnivorous plant watered with irradiated bat urine
Sentient waste disposal plant
A disappointment
Poorly-drawn fascist
Racist teratoma
Lamprey eel spray-painted gold
A hair that you pluck, causing a cluster of hairs to sprout in its place
Sunken, corroding soufflé
Nacho cheese golem
Undead tangerine
A cartoon representation of Irritable Bowel Syndrome in a pharmaceutical ad
Fossilized meatball
Horking mole-creature suffering from radioactive spray-tan
Tattered Craigslist sofa
A full-grown Monopoly dog carefully balancing a spongecake atop his head
Play-Doh factory explosion
A new superfood made of finely-ground clown wigs
Unkempt troll doll found floating facedown in a tub of rancid Beluga caviar
Use at will
I’m starting to feel that Peter Thiel is a danger to democracy. As he’s a big supporter of the alt-right and wants to bring back monarchism.
re 4:
quoted from:
http://theslot.jezebel.com/in-honor-of-donald-trumps-70th-birthday-here-are-70-wa-1781899319
You know, that picture is kinda creepy. It resembles either a hairy handgun or an amputated male genital. I guess its appropriate that a pr*ck wears that on his head.
I seem to remember some overblown controversy about Bill Clinton getting an overpriced haircut in 1993. It will happen to men too, since it has. No issue is too petty for republicans to summon the tempest from the teapot.
It won’t be the Streisand Effect unless somebody tries to get people to stop talking about it, and that causes it to become more widespread. Trying to cause the Streisand Effect from outside is like setting out to make a viral video — a video isn’t “viral” until people start passing links around, and there’s not much you can do about that (other than just make the video as interesting as you can, which the people who talk about “viral videos” tend not to want to do).
re 9:
but isn’t Gawker being sued to stop talking about Drumph’s weave, causing it to be talked about even more?
@#10, slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem))
True, but there’s not a sign yet that Trump cares a bit about it, and nobody is talking about it to spite Ivari, which is what the Streisand Effect would demand.
My second-favorite Letterman bit, Trump or Monkey?
(My favorite was always Dave’s record collection.)
Wulff & Morgenthaler explain it all.