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Apr 22 2013

Some people are born for Twitter

trumptoons

Twitter is a horrible medium for making any kind of lengthy or subtle argument, but it’s great for the casual bon mot—and sometimes it’s a good way to reveal the idiocy of bubble-headed celebrities. Case in point: Donald Trump. Behold, Trump revealed in just 3 consecutive tweets:

Amazing, isn’t it? Torture! Denial of Due Process! Watch My Show!

And this man thought he should be president. I never thought I’d see someone hunting for that office who was dumber and more evil than George W. Bush, and there he is…which probably means he’ll get elected sometime in my lifetime, given my track record on these things.

57 comments

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  1. 1
    Louis

    1) He made lots of money.

    2) He has lots of money.

    3) Therefore he is smart and wise and blessed by the baby jeezis.

    4) Thus he must be king. Or president. Or whatever.

    All these things are true or at least truthy.

    Louis

    P.S. As per usual I despair. Is Monday lunchtime too early to start drinking heavily? Actually in my case, it might be the time to stop.

  2. 2
    sharkjack

    wouldn’t that technically be: “Watch my show, denial of due process, torture!.” as twitter feeds tend to go from bottom to top? you can even see the timestamp on the tweets that indicate his comment on his show was made before the other tweets. This doesn’t really change his message though. He’s still in favor of denying due process and torturing someone BEFORE giving medical treatment. It honestly surprises me that he doesn’t flat out says not to treat the guy at all.

  3. 3
    Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened

    Why are all the right wingers assuming that:

    1- the two borthers were part of some larger organised group?
    2- that torture is the only way to get information on said group from them?

    That said, I don’t think they really believe that. Personally I think it far more likely that they are sick, bloodthirsty, hypocritical bastards who merely want pain inflicted as retribution and use the above to justify it to themselves.

  4. 4
  5. 5
    AJ Milne

    I’m sorry, Mr. Trump, but that kind of thing will not stand. Civilized nations have rules about that kind of thing… Cruel and unusual and causing mental distresss and so on…

    So no, sir, I’m sorry, but we won’t be requiring that anyone watch your show.

    (/Also, as of this morning, your Twitter feed has been classified as a controlled export*. Safety measure, Wouldn’t want such a thing falling into the wrong hands.)

    (*/Wasn’t much trouble. We just added a clause to the measure already covering his hair.)

  6. 6
    dianne

    Quite apart from everything else, the surviving suspect was critically injured in the shootout prior to his capture. How does Trump expect a person who is unconscious from blood loss to “talk” with or without water boarding?

  7. 7
    Ben P

    How does Trump expect a person who is unconscious from blood loss to “talk” with or without water boarding?

    Why would you even need to water board him, assuming the bomber’s under some sort of anesthesia, ask him questions as he’s coming out. You’ll get all you want to know. Of course you can’t use any of it in court, but from what I gather this questioning isn’t focused on gathering evidence. They already have pretty solid evidence against the guy from video footage.

    *NB – the suspect actually has a throat injury and can’t talk at all, so he’s writing notes, but that’s beside the point. There’s a common misconception about the Miranda warnings. They’re merely a “prophylactic” designed to protect the right to remain silent and the right to counsel. The police can question you all day without ever giving you miranda warnings, the catch is that nothing you say can be used in court unless some very specific exceptions apply. However, even without the Miranda warnings if you remain silent, or demand counsel, they have to honor that.

  8. 8
    Ben P

    1) He made lots of money.

    2) He has lots of money.

    Trump”s fortune is almost a case study on the “new economy.”

    Almost all of his fortune was made in highly speculative real estate development projects financed with other people’s money. Most of them failed, but the few winners made a killing. It’s roulette, writ large.

    You set up an investment project to build a casino, estimated cost hundreds of millions of dollars. You get other people to put in ALL of the money, and you just manage it. Of course the project pays you a salary for managing it.

    this thing is leveraged so heavily it operates on a razors edge. It fails, or even doesn’t do well, it bombs. But for trump that’s fine, the company just declares bankruptcy, its investors lose their money, and you walk away. But if it meets expectations, they get their money back plus their return, and you make a killing off it.

    rinse and repeat.

  9. 9
    dobbshead

    Donald Trump is clearly a fluff-headed asshat, but since he is a private citizen that doesn’t bug me so much.

    John McCain, however, a fucking US-Senator, nakedly arguing that we should throw out due process scares the shit out of me. They might actually succeed.

  10. 10
    JV B

    Turns out his tongue is badly damaged, so he can’t talk – at least until medicine works its wonders, and perhaps even after that.

  11. 11
    tbtabby

    When will the right-wing warmongers learn that torture is NOT a Lasso of Truth?

  12. 12
    shouldbeworking

    Only rich people, powerful people and corporations that are rich and powerful have rights. It’s in the constitution.

  13. 13
    Dick the Damned

    This is what you get when a society, or nation, discourages people from thinking for themselves.

  14. 14
    birgerjohansson

    A bit off-topic but I want to show how the real world is different from the worldview of Trumpdroids, as an antidote to Trump-induced rage:

    “A Larger Share of Danes Than American Work” http://www.slate.com/blogs/moneybox/2013/04/21/danish_welfare_state_employment_population_ratio_highest_in_denmark.html
    “Austerity on the Defensive” http://www.slate.com/blogs/moneybox/2013/04/22/bill_gross_on_austerity_fiscal_consolidation_on_the_defensive.html
    I don’t want to be on Celebrity Apprentice. I want to live in a well-run Scandinavian country who craps on austerity economics.

  15. 15
    dianne

    I just realized the significance of the third tweet. Clearly Trump thought over his suggestion of water boarding a dying teenager and decided that that approach was…not vengful enough. He’s suggesting forcing the kid to watch Celebrity Apprentice as an alternative. He’s an evil one, Trump is, to even suggest it.

  16. 16
    Gregory Greenwood

    Wow – Trump is even more of a authoritarian fascist then I gave him credit for. It is sadly no surprise that an ultra rightwing, grotesquely wealthy proponent of torture is a darling of the Republican party.

    And this man thought he should be president. I never thought I’d see someone hunting for that office who was dumber and more evil than George W. Bush, and there he is

    The scraping of the barrel continues apace. I have learned the hard way that there is, unfortunately, always someone worse than the last would-be tyrant, though I shudder to think who they will find that will top the evils of the Trumps, Bachmans and Santorums of the world.

    ———————————————————————————————————————-

    dobbshead @ 9;

    John McCain, however, a fucking US-Senator, nakedly arguing that we should throw out due process scares the shit out of me. They might actually succeed.

    Now, now, don’t be silly – McCain is simply expressing one of the articles of faith for Republicans – that due process is only for wealthy, privileged folks accused of crimes that are associated with a colour of collar that is as pale as their skin. You know, the real world Gordon Gekkos; poor, innocent bankers and financial speculators who didn’t mean to make themselves part of the obscenely rich 1% while throwing everyone else under the financial bus and tanking the global economy, and are only guilty of crimes if you think that insider trading and fraud on a vast scale should be considered this whole big thing rather than a little harmless peccadillo…

    The second you start applying due process to poor and/or brown people, still worse if they are accused of being scary furrin terrorists, then due process stops being a corner stone of American freedoms and morphs instantly into the single greatest threat to truthiness, justice and the ‘Merican way. I mean, how would the government ever be able to cobble together the bad intelligence needed for their next illegal war that just happens to be fought in a country with a great wealth of natural resources ‘keep the country safe’ if they had to worry about the legal entitlements of people accused of terrorism?

    Just remember – when the government is destroying your freedoms hand over fist, it is really protecting you from… something. Terrorism or sharia law or some such. Only those who live under the heel of christofascist totalitarianism are truly free.

    Above all, never forget that we’ve always been at war with Eastasia

    *********
    This episode of Republican Talking Point Hour was brought to you by the Trump Organisation – Trump; for when mundane, everyday evil just isn’t enough.

  17. 17
    robro

    Trump is on my ignore list, along with Palin, the two Ricky’s, and a host of others. Unless he gets close to being a serious contender for public office, he’s not worth the eyeball moments. I would suggest being careful clicking links to mainstream stories about him…they count, and he surely has the people to know how to get the counts.

    And as if it mattered to an ass like Trump, according to several reports yesterday Dzhokhar Tsarnaev suffered serious wounds to the throat and may never talk to anyone about anything. One report suggested the wound was self-inflicted but given that the boat he was found in was riddled with bullet holes it’s not clear why anyone would think that.

    Oh, and what are the odds, that Trump writes his own tweets.

  18. 18
    mikeyb

    Wow – he TRUMPED Dick Cheney, his daughter and Sean Hannity to the “more torture is always the answer” republican reptile standard response.

  19. 19
    Bronze Dog

    Given the notorious and well understood corruption of information involved in interrogation by torture, I very nearly consider pro-torture rhetoric to be an act of counter-intelligence espionage at this point. Pro-torture people are aiding the terrorists and sabotaging America’s investigations and trials, whether they realize it or not.

  20. 20
    shardman

    Here’s another quote from Donald Trump’s Twitter feed “Should be public execution for all to see-you will end this bullshit fast!”. What an asshole.

  21. 21
    eamick

    And let’s not forget that Tsarnaev is a U.S. citizen and a resident of the Boston area; those are most definitely his doctors, too—certainly more than they are Trump’s.

  22. 22
    David Marjanović

    When will the right-wing warmongers learn that torture is NOT a Lasso of Truth?

    They’ll learn as soon as they want to.

    Oh, and what are the odds, that Trump writes his own tweets.

    Stupid as they are, he probably does write them himself.

  23. 23
    tsig

    I didn’t realize that the constitutional rights were merely options to be granted or not case by case.

    I notice the torture option is quite boldly talked about in the open, another example of how evil becomes commonplace with usage.

  24. 24
    robro

    shardman #20

    Here’s another quote from Donald Trump’s Twitter feed “Should be public execution for all to see-you will end this bullshit fast!”. What an asshole.

    An as if all the public executions in past centuries stopped anything. Public executions didn’t stop Christianity, par exemple.

  25. 25
    DLC

    The reason why they like torture ? because it makes them feel all macho and hardass.

    The reality is, torture almost never produces useful intelligence. It’s almost always better to use standard “conversational” interrogation techniques.
    In short, Mr Trump is a damn fool who shouldn’t be permitted to control anything more important than a hotdog stand. (and I’m having my doubts about his ability to boil water safely.)

  26. 26
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    You are all being unfair to blowhard. He has a high IQ.

    *wonders if it is three digit*

    (old joke)

  27. 27
    carbonbasedlifeform

    Torture is illegal, immoral and unreliable. No wonder right-wingers love it.

  28. 28
    aaronbaker

    The Onion shares this good news about Trump:

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/when-youre-feeling-low-just-remember-ill-be-dead-i,31008/

  29. 29
    a_ray_in_dilbert_space

    Janine, the only way Donald Trump’s IQ would require 3 digits is if it were represented in binary.

  30. 30
    Trebuchet

    I suspect the squirrel on Trump’s head has been eating his brain. Not that it’s a very nourishing diet.

  31. 31
    Lynna, OM

    This is slightly off topic, but I think the lust for torture comes from the same place as the lust to shoot people who disagree with you politically. Denizens of the Donald Trumpish right wing are really quite frustrated by the fact that we have laws preventing them from torturing or shooting US citizens. It just ain’t right to put a lid on using force, doncha know.

    They want to use force, the more deadly the better. (Makes you wonder about Trump’s business ethics.)

    The quote below is from a newsletter published by the Arkansas Republican Party of Benton County.

    http://www.nogy.net/bcgop/Apr_2013/index.html
    …Part of me feels that this betrayal deserves a quick implementation of my 2nd amendment rights to remove a threat domestic.

    We need to let those who will come in the future to represent us [know] that we are serious. The 2nd amendment means nothing unless those in power believe you would have no problem simply walking up and shooting them if they got too far out of line and stopped responding as representatives. It seems that we are unable to muster that belief in any of our representatives on a state or federal level, but we have to have something, something costly, something that they will fear that we will use if they step out of line. …

    Personally, I think a gun is quicker and more merciful, but hey, we can’t

    You can just feel the regret in that last line. Please god, please let me and my fellow Republicans hurt somebody…. for the good of everyone, of course.

    There’s also a comment in the newsletter about using Democrats as “bullet backstops.”

    This newsletter is indicative of how they write/talk when they think only like-minded people are reading/listening. Very instructive.

  32. 32
    Rey Fox

    He has a face for radio, a voice for blogs, and a mind for Twitter.

  33. 33
    Rey Fox

    Onion article: I’m pretty sure Trump is going to hold on for longer than that. He’s only 66, seems pretty healthy, and he’s rich.

  34. 34
    anuran

    Congressman calling for torture.
    Republican Party officials threatening to shoot people who don’t vote the way they want.
    Congressman calling for religious discrimination to be part of the law.
    900,000 domestic gun deaths in the last 12 years
    Five times as many deaths and infinitely more damage from one scofflaw fertilizer plant in Texas than from the Boston bombing.

    We have more to fear from the Greedy Old Plutocrats than the Scary Brown People

  35. 35
    Loqi

    I’m skeptical of the claim that Trump was born at all. How do we know he isn’t just a large amount of mold growing on the underside of a crusty toupee?

  36. 36
    noyourgod

    Loius (#1) – I started at 11:30 before even reading Trump’s malarkey…. If I had, I’d have had more than just one.

    Trump is a despicable piece of trash – yet adored by Randians (also despicable pieces of trash). Even as a big fan of The Princess Bride, I have to declare “inconceivable.”…

  37. 37
    Lynna, OM

    Trump wants to torture, shoot, or deport everyone he thinks of as un-American. This includes lots and lots of US citizens. Those he cannot torture, shoot or deport should be stripped of their money in ways only quasi-legal.

    In the meantime, the Tsarnaev brothers decided not to shoot the guy from whom they carjacked there Mercedes SUV because he was not an American.

    The victim told police he was driven to a Shell Gas Station on Memorial Drive in Watertown. Inside the car, the brothers “declared to [the victim] that they were the Boston Marathon bombers and would not kill him because he wasn’t American,” the report said. When the victim saw an opportunity to flee, he ran to a nearby gas station where he asked the owner to call 911, the report said.

  38. 38
    Lynna, OM

    from CNN:

    The surviving suspect in last week’s Boston Marathon bombings, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, “will not be treated as an enemy combatant,” but rather will be prosecuted “through our civilian system of justice,” White House spokesman Jay Carney told reporters Monday afternoon. “Under U.S. law, United States citizens cannot be tried in military commissions,” he said.

    Maybe Trump’s hair will go up in flames. It looks more than flammable — will have to ask Ogvorbis for a term that describes that kind of incendiary device.

  39. 39
    Lynna, OM

    Why did the current system allow two individuals to immigrate to the United States from the Chechen Republic in Russia, an area known as a hotbed of Islamic extremism, who then committed acts of terrorism? Were there any safeguards? Could this have been prevented? Does the immigration reform before us address this?

    That quote is from Senator Rand Paul. Any excuse to destroy another piece of Obama-backed legislation. This time, immigration reform.

    Examining the problems in our immigration system which may have been highlighted by the Boston bombings is fine (emphasize “may”), but I don’t trust Rand Paul to be saying what he actually means. I suspect this is just an obstructionist tactic.

  40. 40
    Lynna, OM

    Trump sounds remarkably like Tamerlan Tsarnaev, itching to force people to live his way or no way.

    People who knew him say Tamerlan would express outrage when he perceived a religious slight and was critical of Muslim immigrants’ efforts to assimilate in the U.S.

    In one incident last November, Tamerlan confronted a shopkeeper at a Middle Eastern grocery store in Cambridge, near a mosque where he sometimes prayed, after seeing a sign there advertising Thanksgiving turkeys.

    “Brother, why did you put up this sign?” the shopkeeper, Abdou Razak, recalled him asking angrily. “This is kuffar”—an Arabic reference to non-Muslims—”that’s not right!”

    The quotes above are from the Wall Street Journal.

  41. 41
    anuran

    And he was thrown out of a mosque three months ago. The imam had said something complimentary about Martin Luther King Jr, and Tamerlan was angry about it.

    http://news.yahoo.com/report-bombing-suspect-thrown-mosque-3-months-ago-184826493.html

  42. 42
    unclefrogy

    Loqi, would that be a slime mold?

    uncle frogy

  43. 43
    Loqi

    Unclefrogy, a slime mold would fit the bill, except I don’t think they get that big (new species, perhaps?).

    Really, I don’t *know* that Trump is actually a mold growing on the bottom of a crusty toupee, but until we see his long-form birth certificate, we must assume the most outlandish thing possible. /birther logic

  44. 44
    ChasCPeterson

    sometimes it’s a good way to reveal the idiocy of bubble-headed celebrities.

    c’mon, Trump’s low-hanging fruit.
    Now, have you seen some of the shit that Richard Dawkins tweets*.

    *I still cannot take that seriously as a verb. It’s unnecessary even for birds.

  45. 45
    David Marjanović

    The quote below is from a newsletter published by the Arkansas Republican Party of Benton County.

    Hmmmmm.

    You know who had no trouble believing “you would have no problem simply walking up and shooting them if they got too far out of line and stopped responding as representatives”?

    Saddam.

    He surrounded himself with several layers of private armies and bodyguards, never spent two nights in a row in the same palace, and was never toppled or so much as hurt till he lost that war.

  46. 46
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    I still cannot take that seriously as a verb.

    Last weekend we were talking about social networks in my french class, and the teacher wrote, in all seriousness, tweeter on the blackboard as french for to tweet.
    Too bad I didn’t think to ask about how the conjugation goes. I’ll try to remember it for next time.
    Je tweete, tu tweetes,… ;)

  47. 47
    David Marjanović

    Now, have you seen some of the shit that Richard Dawkins tweets*.

    I have. Religion isn’t the only thing that won’t survive the Internet.

    *I still cannot take that seriously as a verb. It’s unnecessary even for birds.

    Fun fact: German has only the verb (zwitschern) and no noun for a single act of it.

  48. 48
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Oy, David, maybe you know:
    Can I say nous tweetons?

    A short google search says I can. I find it kinda hilarious.

  49. 49
    David Marjanović

    Je tweete, tu tweetes,… ;)

    How else? :-) It helps, of course, that all the endings are silent except for -ez. (-ons is extinct in colloquial French; people say on instead of nous.)

  50. 50
    David Marjanović

    …Okay, I retract the parenthesis. I agree it’s kinda hilarious. :-)

  51. 51
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    David,

    Huh? People use on for first person plural?

  52. 52
    Worldtraveller

    Born for twitter? So, you’re saying Trump’s a natural born twit?

    I’ll buy that.

  53. 53
    madscientist

    This is why I think “March of Morons” has it backward – the morons are running the show. At least it looks like the gub’mint’s got real interrogators handling the case and not sadistic assholes like Trump who’d kill the guy and get no worthwhile answers.

  54. 54
    Lynna, OM

    http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2013/04/29/130429ta_talk_remnick

    Good article in The New Yorker on the Tsarnaev family and the history of the region in which various family members lived and worked.

  55. 55
    congenital cynic

    I always thought that Trump was a fuckwit, but this trio of tweets shows him to be an even more vile piece of shit than I had thought before. Just when you think they can’t get any lower, they surprise you.

  56. 56
    PatrickG

    @ Beatrice:

    Yeah, L’Académie française has really been falling down on the job. Language debasement everywhere!

    [This comment rated Trump-free and safe for children.]

  57. 57
    David Marjanović

    Huh? People use on for first person plural?

    You didn’t know? Even 30-year-old textbooks have at least on y va “let’s go”. Nous is pretty much only used in writing and for emphasis (“nous, on fait…”).

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