I have been put in my place. This is a fantastic way to blaspheme. Behold, the Jesus Christ Ice Pop.
At a party this weekend celebrating New York Design Week, which begins today, the Chilean-born artist [Sebastian Errazuriz] plans to hand out 100 “Christian Popsicles” made of “frozen holy wine transformed into the blood of Christ” and featuring a crucifix instead the tongue depressor that typically hosts the frozen treats, he said.
An image of Jesus Christ positioned traditionally on the cross is visible once the ice pop is consumed. As for the frozen wine, Errazuriz said, he concealed it in a cooler and took it into a church, where it was “inadvertently blessed by the priest while turning wine into the blood of Christ during the Eucharist.”
Excellent! I bet they’d go well with crackers.
57 comments
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Ms. Daisy Cutter, Gynofascist in a Spiffy Hugo Boss Uniform
24 June 2012 at 11:59 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
How many licks does it take to get to the center of Their Savior?
dianne
24 June 2012 at 12:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
How does one “inadvertently” bless something or someone? Isn’t the whole point of a blessing the intent? It’s not like he accidentally poured blood into the wine or something, it’s all about magic transformation and it seems like that should be an effect of will. Or maybe the artists will was enough to cause it to change. So confusing when you don’t follow actual physical laws.
Beatrice
24 June 2012 at 12:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Oh dear, I love the comments there. People are arguing that the author is ignorant and doesn’t understand religion if he thinks the priest could have accidentally blessed and turned wine into Christ’s blood. He’s got to mean it, don’t you know?
There are more. Better put your irony meters in some safe container before reading more, you wouldn’t want to be hurt by all the explosions.
Cuttlefish
24 June 2012 at 12:07 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Not like you to be so late on the uptake!
http://freethoughtblogs.com/cuttlefish/2012/05/18/jesus-christ-on-a-popsicle-stick-no-really/
Glen Davidson
24 June 2012 at 12:10 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Lick your way to Jesus!
Glen Davidson
PZ Myers
24 June 2012 at 12:13 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It was the shame that I was beaten to it.
Sean Boyd
24 June 2012 at 12:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It’s like having communion on a stick.
And it’s chock full of symbolic goodness, too…getting to the center of the popsicle can represent Jeebus breaking the tomb open on the 3rd day. Hmmm…on second thought, maybe this isn’t such a great sacrilege to the Church after all.
Susannah
24 June 2012 at 12:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Well, that should finally top the cracker incident, so they’ll stop bringing it up.
No?
Or, alternatively, they’ll blame you for influencing the artist. More likely, I think.
Randomfactor
24 June 2012 at 12:31 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’m sure a simple chemical analysis will TOTALLY prove this guy’s wine wasn’t REALLY consecrated.
The Catlicks will have the last laugh yet.
Janine: History’s Greatest Monster
24 June 2012 at 12:35 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Looking for the Piss Christ Popsicle.
Zeno
24 June 2012 at 12:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Last year I posted “Christ on a Stick,” but the context was pogo rather than popsicle. Great innovations in religion tend to be slow to take hold.
revjimbob
24 June 2012 at 12:52 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
According to the doctrine of the Trilogy, it should be buy one, get two free.
ericpaulsen
24 June 2012 at 1:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Mmmmmmmmm! Blood pops!
sc_daf555bf3249c23d49bad8f71d730018
24 June 2012 at 1:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Imagine what he could do with blood sausage.
cag
24 June 2012 at 1:16 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The pops are $2.00 but if you lick “there” it will cost an extra $100.00.
sc_2f30f4ac0ee604ffcb1bca6ea0ebeea9
24 June 2012 at 1:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I was thinking Chr-iced Pop would be a better name…
Rey Fox
24 June 2012 at 1:30 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Bleah. It’s just more of the worst part of any popsicle: the stick. My teeth and tongue shudder every time they make contact with that wood.
Rey Fox
24 June 2012 at 1:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
They should be making popsicles with edible sticks.
feralboy12
24 June 2012 at 1:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
We’ll need a ruling from the hierarchy on this one, I think. I’d hate to have my Bit O Honey bar turn into Bit O Christ–shit, I’m a vegetarian.
duncanbooth
24 June 2012 at 2:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
How much do you want to bet? I’m sure a simple chemical analysis will TOTALLY prove this guy’s wine is IDENTICAL to the same wine after it’s been consecrated.
'Tis Himself
24 June 2012 at 2:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The freezing point of ethyl alcohol is -114°C (-173°F). Those be some chilly pops.
Ms. Daisy Cutter, Gynofascist in a Spiffy Hugo Boss Uniform
24 June 2012 at 2:23 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Beatrice, there’s also a hell of a lot of whining there about how the artist was “disrespectful” toward their imaginary friend. Boo hoo.
Janine:
I don’t know that there’d be a big market for that outside of certain fetish demographics.
duncanbooth
24 June 2012 at 2:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That would be some strange wine if it were pure alcohol. Spirits could be difficult to freeze but wine should freeze quite easily
Island Adolescent
24 June 2012 at 2:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Majority of comments in the link are basically “Do this to Islam you coward!” and “Wine to blood doesn’t work like that.”
It’s VERY sad.
'Tis Himself
24 June 2012 at 3:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
When I was young and dumb* I tried freezing some wine in a glass in a kitchen freezer. It didn’t work. The alcohol turned the wine into a slushy.
*Not like now when I’m old and dumb.
ChristineRose
24 June 2012 at 3:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Freezing wine sort of makes slush and if you let it stand the alcohol will come to the top and you can decant it for brandy. When I was a kid I was taught that if you froze it it was applejack and if you distilled it it was apple brandy.
The wine pops must have some sort of emulsifier or a very low alcohol content, or maybe they are just a very messy eat. Actually I doubt if anyone eats them at all. They seem to be some sort of art project.
It’s just as well that the priest has to have intent to bless the wine because the idea of an accidental imaginary blood pop is only a little less ick than an imaginary cup of blood anyhow.
Rumtopf
24 June 2012 at 3:18 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I just so happen to be eating a rocket lolly. Science pop!
Rob in Memphis
24 June 2012 at 3:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Reading some of the comments over there makes me think of one of Roger Smith’s lines from the American Dad! episode, “Rapture’s Delight”:
The whole episode is great, though, especially the puppet show explaining the Rapture.
And there are lots of posts saying that consecration doesn’t work the way the artist thinks it does, and at least one saying that if that’s what the artist did he’s guilty of stealing the blood of Christ. So either it doesn’t work that way or you bet your ass it works that way? *headdesk*
RFW
24 June 2012 at 3:53 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’ll betcha the proverbial jelly-filled donut that if these Christo-pops were being peddled to the faithful by one or another of the grifters we all know and love so well, the faithful would be buying them by the carload.
Once the current furor has died down, stay tuned for Pat Robertson and his ilk to take this idea up as another cool way to separate their followers from their hard-earned dollars.
dean
24 June 2012 at 4:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
This one is also rather clever.
http://reducethepanic.com/files/2011/12/Jesus-Christ-Crucifixion-Funny-YMCA-Blasphemy.jpg
Rev. BigDumbChimp
24 June 2012 at 4:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Ahhh yes Fatwa Envy on display in the comments.
Tony... therefore God
24 June 2012 at 4:51 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@16:
That was side splittingly awful.
madscientist
24 June 2012 at 4:52 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Yuck … the thought of licking a zombie’s crotch.
ritapita
24 June 2012 at 5:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Ooooh! Wine & crackers. I’ll bring the cheese. Paaaarty!
Brownian
24 June 2012 at 5:30 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
An exerpt from the erotic best seller, Fifty Shades of Rey.
ritapita
24 June 2012 at 5:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Another thought, though somewhat unrelated. I’ve always wanted to form a christian safe-sex class for hard core believers called “Condoms for Christ”. Perhaps put biblical verses on the condoms and so on. Darn thing is, my atheism prevents me from going through with the idea.
Brownian
24 June 2012 at 5:38 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Why should your atheism stop you?
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.—Ezekiel 23:20
laurentweppe
24 June 2012 at 5:42 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That’s more than a blasphemy: that’s an absolute casus belli: by increasing the amount of wood, you diminish the volume of frozen unhealthy sugary grape juice available.
Bring the Nukes! Someone is trying to diminish our pop doses!
aspidoscelis
24 June 2012 at 5:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Hm. I wonder if Sebastian Errazuriz is a member of the same family for which the genus Errazurizia (Fabaceae) is named? Seems likely…
Skepgineer
24 June 2012 at 6:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Just what catholic priests need! Another way of getting minors intoxicated!
nonny
24 June 2012 at 6:31 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Freesus Christ?
Rey Fox- I bet you could make popsicle stick out of cimmamon or liquorice wood, which would be chewable and add flavour.
anuran
24 June 2012 at 6:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
This guy could Blaspheme for the Olympics
Brian Murtagh
24 June 2012 at 6:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The only bit that disappoints is that the traditionally posed Jesus drawing doesn’t have a woody.
A. R
24 June 2012 at 7:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Perhaps the popsicle stick could be made out of stiffened consecrated cracker?
Brownian
24 June 2012 at 7:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“which would be chewable and add flavour”
“stiffened consecrated cracker”
I don’t know what the big deal is. This book is just weird.
Loqi
24 June 2012 at 9:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
All the Catholics saying the priest can’t accidentally bless the wine is way off base. Every Warcraft player knows that consecration is AoE.
stoferb
24 June 2012 at 11:24 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Talk about a “personal relationship with Jesus” getting a whole new meaning. Not for catholics though, they regularly eat him.
F
25 June 2012 at 12:31 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
If it’s not consecrated: Imitation Christ. If it is: Sacrilicious.
Rip Steakface
25 June 2012 at 2:32 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Stiffening is the last word you want to use in relation to Catholic priests.
Sophia Dodds
25 June 2012 at 5:17 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@15 cag:
Don’t you mean it’s $2.00, but if you lick ‘there’ they’ll give you a $20,000 payout and help you move house? :P
Rev. BigDumbChimp
25 June 2012 at 6:49 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Would have been much cooler if he made it with frozen pureed fetuses.
johnscanlon
25 June 2012 at 7:14 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
dianne #2, it has been authoritatively established on this blog that intent isn’t magical, so, ipso facto, the incantation by the ordained bloke in the dress must transubstantiate all bread and wine within its zone of influence whether he’s aware of its presence or not.
petzl20
25 June 2012 at 7:24 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
What’s funny about it is, from the catholics point of view, they’ll totally buy into the idea that they were “bamboozled” into blessing this illicit wine and they’ll want it back or disposed of properly or something. ie, a theft of services has occurred. well, that plus desecration of the Blood of Christ. be interesting to see how far they might go with this, being that they do get so animated when someone manages to smuggle an unconsumed Host out of communion.
johnscanlon
25 June 2012 at 7:32 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Just realised I should have written ‘hocus pocus’ instead of ‘incantation’. Shall I come in again?
petzl20
25 June 2012 at 7:33 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
If you’ll note the relevant cleric spell, liquid within 10 feet are affected. Thus, the artist could easily have secreted a wine carton on or near the altar and had it transformed without the priest’s knowledge. Errazuriz’s story is quite plausible.
—————————————-
Spell: Purify Food and Drink
Purify Food and Drink Transmutation
Level: Clr 0, Drd 0
Components: V, S
Casting time: 1 standard action
Range: 10 ft.
Target: 1 cu. ft./level of contaminated food and water
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates (object)
Spell Resistance: Yes (object)
Source: http://www.dandwiki.com
julietdefarge
25 June 2012 at 7:58 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@Beatrice- You’re right. This wine would not be blessed when the priest elevated the chalice. It might get “inadvertently blessed” if the priest was casting holy water about with a sprinkler.
I hope you will back me up as I explain, once more, that the host is not a cracker. This designation is an insult to all crackers, which have ingredients other than flour and water, and are all intended to have some sort of taste, even it’s just a bit of browning. Only under conditions of very low humidity will a host actually crack. And, crackers cost more. Look how cheap hosts are: http://www.aquinasandmore.com/catholic-gifts/whole-wheat-1-1-8-in.-hosts/sku/11002
shadow
27 June 2012 at 4:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@29:
Sheep are there to be fleeced.