I’m in the Melbourne airport, about to depart on a 9:30am flight to Los Angeles, which will arrive at 7am today. I’d suggest that we keep going around and around and wind the clock back a few years, except that the only effect of time travel seems to be exhaustion and confusion, and I’ve had enough of that for a while. See you in a more familiar time zone tomorrow! I mean, today! I mean…I don’t know. I’m going to just close my eyes and see when I end up.
Apr 16 2012
Practicing time travel
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60 comments
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reasonbeing
16 April 2012 at 5:51 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Do you get in before you leave? That is always a bit disorientating…
Caine, Fleur du mal
16 April 2012 at 5:53 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Safe travel to you & Mary.
Brownian
16 April 2012 at 5:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
When you get to the past, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it!
Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls
16 April 2012 at 5:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Don’t worry PZ, with the Trophy Wife™ along, she’ll keep you straight. Good trip, and hear from you on the other side.
Caine, Fleur du mal
16 April 2012 at 6:00 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Brownian:
We better hope he doesn’t meet his grandma…
Catnip, Not a Polymath
16 April 2012 at 6:00 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Turns out you can arrive in LA (if that’s your transit) before you leave Melbourne.
Every time I fly through LA, I try to get a Melbourne newspaper to find out which sporting teams are going to win in the next 6 hours, so I can place some bets & make a fortune. Unfortunately, they don’t have any outlets for the paper version there. I’m waiting for the next trip, when I will finally be able to access the website from the future…..
Gregory in Seattle
16 April 2012 at 6:45 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Professor, you might useful The Time Traveler’s Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations by Dr. Dan Streetmentioner. Just keep in mind that all pages after the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Subjunctive Intentional are intentionally blank to save printing costs: the book is so incredibly dull that no one ever gets any farther than that.
Catnip, Not a Polymath
16 April 2012 at 6:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
And that the Future perfect has been dropped,
Because, having been there, it has been discovered that it is not.
Peter Cranny
16 April 2012 at 6:54 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Time is an illusion.
Lunch time doubly so.
Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Charlie Foxtrot
16 April 2012 at 6:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Great seeing you again, PZ! Hope Australia (well, the Melbourne bit of it) made the hours in the flying tube worthwhile :)
Davros
16 April 2012 at 7:10 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Australia is in the Future
Cassandra Caligaria (Cipher), OM
16 April 2012 at 7:30 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Wait, you’re going to be in LA? For a thing or just for travel?
Menyambal -- sambal master ordinaire
16 April 2012 at 7:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The only time I was on a trip like that, I was flying Japan Air Lines. I was so groggy that when they served supper just a few hours after breakfast, I ordered the octopus.
Whole baby dead octopus.
PZ might like that, though.
Catnip, Not a Polymath
16 April 2012 at 7:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Cassandra,
That was just my musings about trips I have done. LA is the most common entry point into the USA from Melbourne. I’ve no idea whether PZ is going that route or not.
echidna
16 April 2012 at 7:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I hope both of you have a good trip. Try to nap if you can.
echidna
16 April 2012 at 7:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
14 hours is about the most a plane can do without running into lack-of-fuel issues. The only direct flight from Melbourne to mainland US is Melb-LAX, although I have to say I prefer Melb-Syd-SF, so that I can avoid LAX, and I’m usually heading to SF anyway.
There really isn’t a lot of land between Australia and the US.
Catnip, Not a Polymath
16 April 2012 at 7:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I prefer the Mel-Syd-SAF route on the way there, and the SAF-LAX-MEL route on the way back, but that’s because I hate Sydney’s damn fool terminal system & after the 14 hour flight, I’m in no mood to face it.
chigau (違う)
16 April 2012 at 7:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I haven’t been to LAX in over 20 years.
Is it still fucking horrible?
J Bowen
16 April 2012 at 7:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Wouldn’t that flight make PZ and Mary both a few microseconds younger than the rest of us?
Awesome speech, PZ. As always, thanks.
Cassandra Caligaria (Cipher), OM
16 April 2012 at 8:00 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
He said in the post though :P
echidna
16 April 2012 at 8:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
No argument from me.
timberwoof
16 April 2012 at 8:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Wait, what? Surely changing his—Oh. I know what you mean. Never mind. ;)
Do you get in before you leave? That is always a bit disorientating…</blockquote?
Just be glad that trips across the time zone don't cause distemper.
Have a safe and uneventful trip, PZ
gragra
16 April 2012 at 8:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I went through it a year ago. It’s fucking abysmal. Missed my connecting flight after coming from Sydney and had to wait in line for 2 fucking hours before I could talk to anyone. They put me on a flight for that night and wouldn’t put me in a hotel until I nearly had a breakdown in front of them. I’ll never go through LAX again if I can help it.
phasic
16 April 2012 at 9:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Nah, it can get worse. Qantas does a Brisbane to Dallas-Fort Worth leg that is 16 hours non-stop in a 747. I did it last November and it was a whole bunch of not fun.
lactosefermenter
16 April 2012 at 9:37 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Australia to LA, huh? Hmm…
If you end up on an island where you have to press a button every 108 minutes, don’t ask questions just press the damn button.
echidna
16 April 2012 at 9:52 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I can imagine it was not fun. That’s fairly close to the range limit of a 747-400, which is what I assume the plane was.
I did a bit of google-fu, and found this in Wikipedia:
Catnip, Not a Polymath
16 April 2012 at 10:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
*facepalm*
{Slinks away in self disgust, stopping only for a quick paw wash.}
I really need to learn to read for comprehension, don’t I?
FossilFishy
16 April 2012 at 11:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The first time I flew through LAX I actually had a good experience. My itinerary was Melbourne to Singapore, Singapore to Tokyo, Tokyo to LA, LA to Seattle, Seattle to Edmonton. It was around 32 hours of travel time door to door. Why? Damned if I know other than that my travel agent swore it was the only way to get me back to Edmonton when I need to be there.
In Tokyo I realized I hadn’t packed deodorant or a clean shirt in my carry-on. I couldn’t find anything in the terminal shops that I could positively identify as deodorant and it was too busy to find someone with enough english to ask.
By LA I was pretty ripe. On checking in the clerk asked if I wanted window or aisle and I said I was too zombified to care but she should probably put me the smelly section. I board the plane and find I’m on the aisle of a three seat row that is otherwise empty. We take off and I when we hit cruising altitude I get up to pee and realize that I’m the only one on the whole aircraft who has a row to myself. That clerk took pity on me or I really was as pungent as I had assumed, either way it she did me a kindness. :)
Cassandra Caligaria (Cipher), OM
16 April 2012 at 11:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Teehee aww. *hugs to Catnip* Happens to all of us sometimes.
left0ver1under
17 April 2012 at 12:07 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
PZM’s joking idea reminds me of this XKCD comic:
http://xkcd.com/162/
I wouldn’t doubt there are people who actually think this way, who think by doing something dumb they’ll save time or money.
cactusren
17 April 2012 at 12:31 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The only good thing about long flights like that is that they make any subsequent not-so-ridiculous flights seem like a breeze. I once flew from Washington DC to Johannesburg, South Africa, with a stop to refuel in Dakar. Eighteen hours on one plane. A couple months later, I went to Beijing, and the 12 hour flight seemed downright reasonable.
Pteryxx
17 April 2012 at 12:41 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Actually, traveling in a moving frame of reference really does slow down time for you (via time dilation). Demonstrated by comparing an atomic clock on the ground with one flown in a plane. Therefore, flying DOES make your life longer than it would have been if you didn’t travel (as long as you survive.)
Catnip, Not a Polymath
17 April 2012 at 12:54 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Prrrrr prrrrr prrrrr
echidna
17 April 2012 at 2:25 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Yeah. Melbourne to anywhere-in-Europe is very, very long.
jand
17 April 2012 at 2:29 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Ultimate argument against rapture, armageddon, apocalypse etc:
“The world is not going to end today,
it’s already tomorrow in Australia”
theophontes 777
17 April 2012 at 3:24 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ cactusren
Compare: Hong Kong – Seoul – San Fran – Atlanta – Tampa. All concatenated together, without a break. GAWD, we were zombiefied… (And then back again!)
natalieeldridge
17 April 2012 at 3:50 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
PZ We LOVED having you in Melbourne for the GAC! I am spewing I missed the fringe event at Uni of Melb (couldn’t get a babysitter, boo hoo) but I sure hope that you consider coming back at the earliest invitation! It was a fabulous talk you gave, vibrant and encouraging – I particularly liked the bit where you related how you didn’t ‘like’ the moderate god-botherers… me neither! Have a great flight and best of luck, missing you already! Kind regards, Natalie Eldridge, Blackburn, Victoria, Australia.
Dick the Damned
17 April 2012 at 3:51 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Caine, #5,
More to the point, i hope he doesn’t meet my grandmas, if they were babies, & especially so if he was hungry. Well, i guess he didn’t – not in this universe, anyway.
Matt Penfold
17 April 2012 at 3:55 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I have done Gatwick-LA-Aukland-Brisbane, which was 42 hours door to door. I could not have told you what continent I was on by the time I arrived.
theophontes 777
17 April 2012 at 4:00 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ Matt
Australia is not an island ‽
Matt Penfold
17 April 2012 at 4:02 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I think it is considered both an island and a continent, but after that flight I was in no position to say.
duvelthehobbit666
17 April 2012 at 4:03 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
If you are going to time travel, you should really do it with a blue police box.
Catnip, Not a Polymath
17 April 2012 at 4:18 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Island and continent is correct. Isn’t attached to any other land mass. Hence it must be an island, and has its very own Patent Continental Plate ™ to travel the world on.
Catnip, Not a Polymath
17 April 2012 at 4:25 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Although further reading suggests that there are more than one definition to islands & continents, & the division between island and continent seems to be arbitrary, so my previous comment could be both wrong and right. I blame quantum duality.
Matt Penfold
17 April 2012 at 4:25 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Australia Gets Drunk, Wakes Up in North Atlantic
rnilsson
17 April 2012 at 6:09 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Umm, I’m probably confused here. Which way is the route again? Melbourne to LA, the shorter way should be due east and north, so the plane meets time on its way, so to say, rather than following the timezone chasing sunsets in the west.
IOW, unless I am more confused than everyone else, you will most likely touch down TOMORROW morning instead of before you took off. Missing a number of meals and otherwise productive hours whilst in a cramped position. Now I envy you a little bit less!
Happy flying, anyway.
Catnip, Not a Polymath
17 April 2012 at 6:59 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Rnilsson
Heading east, you do “go faster” through the timeline, until you cross the dateline mid pacific. At which time, you go back in time by 24hours.
gragra
17 April 2012 at 7:05 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
#39 Matt Penfold at 42 hours wins the day. Sheesh.
rnilsson
17 April 2012 at 7:38 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ Catnip,
Aha, so that darned singularity beat me again! Thanks for clearing me up on this point! Borders abound where least expected, as always.
Catnip, Not a Polymath
17 April 2012 at 8:11 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
No worries rnilsson. The date line can do weird stuff to your mind when you cross it, if combined with lack of sleep and sensory deprivation.
Skip White
17 April 2012 at 8:59 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ 25, lactosefermenter
I was wondering how long it’d take for a Lost reference to surface. Of course, one would also have to figure in all the other time travel as well.
Rey Fox
17 April 2012 at 12:37 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Until you factor in your increased exposure to cosmic rays on an airplane.
jeremystyron
17 April 2012 at 2:16 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
As I have just been working my way through Lost for the first time on Netflix, flying from Australia to Los Angeles would completely weird me out. ;)
Doug Little
17 April 2012 at 2:30 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Enjoy the inevitable jet lag that you are going to suffer PZ. I always get really bad jet lag coming back over from Oz.
Doug Little
17 April 2012 at 2:38 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The person who currently holds the record for time dilation is Sergei_Avdeyev. He has aged roughly 20 milliseconds less than an earthbound person due to his 747 odd days aboard the Mir space station.
pentatomid
17 April 2012 at 2:53 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Don’t worry,PZ, as long as you don’t change any fixed points in time, everything will be fine. (If you do, though, the entire universe will be in deep shit, what with the pterosaurs and Winston Churchill and all that.) Also, avoid your ancestors… And maybe those of your wife as well, just to be on the safe side.
ibyea
17 April 2012 at 4:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Yeah, but what is the point of time dilation if you yourself is not going to feel it. Only the observers outside your frame of reference notices the time dilation.
DLC
17 April 2012 at 4:37 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Safe travels, PZ. But, as you have been to the future, you knew I was going to say that. Or did you go into the future to use your Super Science to make me say that? ? ?
Ogvorbis: Insert Appropriate Appelation Here
17 April 2012 at 7:18 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
PZ, keep practicing. Eventually (unless you are a medical doctor, dentist, or lawyer) you will get it right.
garydargan
17 April 2012 at 9:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
This of course means that Americans are living in the past. No wonder there are so many creationists. As a matter of interest Muslims anticipated this time conundrum. One early question their scholars dealt with was: If you are in a town and you pray at the time the prayer is due then reach another town before the time comes for the same prayer do you have to pray again? All this before international jet travel. Did they anticipate this or were they making rulings for Sufis of high station who were endowed with supersonic flying carpets?