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Feb 23 2014

The Biblical Justification For Arizona’s Proposed Law

Jesus hated homos, which he says in [find this verse]
Yes, he also hated hypocrites, but really, gays are worse
So as Arizonans ask themselves just “What would Jesus do?”
He’d engage in homophobia, like [look this verse up, too]
See, Jesus always made it clear [um, look this up as well]
Baking cakes or taking photographs could send you straight to hell
The Arizona bigots simply want the bible heeded…
They follow all the bible’s rules [citation clearly needed]

5 comments

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  1. 1
    dobby

    How does baking a cake affirm a marriage?

    Do they make opposite-sex couples fill out a questionnaire to make sure they are all biblical?

    Do they refuse to take photos if shrimp is served at the reception?

  2. 2
    BMcHell

    For those who enjoy irony…

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the bible have something to say about divorce and remarriage as well? Something about not committing adultery, nothing tearing asunder what has been joined under god and all that?

    Arizona has a history of passing laws based on bible passages. Back in 1998, they adopted a “covenant marriage” law, giving couples access to premarital training and providing a way to limit the conditions under which they would later be granted a divorced. These options have been available for more than 15 years now, yet not even 1% of marrying couples opt for it.

    Even better, Arizona is pretty consistently in the top ten list of states with the highest divorce rates in the country, averaged yearly between men and women.

  3. 3
    Leo Buzalsky

    @BMcHell

    Ah, but don’t forget that the Catholic church opposed such things for years, particularly back when they were essentially thee Christian religion. Henry VIII separated the Church of England from the Catholic church back in the 1500′s so that he could get a divorce. It would seem that, basically, people found such rules too difficult to follow, so they got brushed aside.

    Getting straight to the point, it’s actually not ironic at all because I suspect a lot of non-religious people recognize that religious “rules” are and have been more a product of the culture than anything the bible has to say.

  4. 4
    justsomeguy

    @1: It’s a common misconception that commercial activity is about commerce. What may appear to the average godless heathen as a simple exchange of money for a good or service is actually not at all the case. As our christian betters understand, one does not open a business in order to provide for themselves or turn a profit; rather, business is only about communicating approval or disapproval of the lifestyles of others. There’s simply no other reason to bother.

  5. 5
    busterggi

    I wonder how many Arizona weddings end badly when the bride fails the virginity test and has to be stoned to death?

    Its biblical law.

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