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Jul 17 2012

Argumentum Ad Cupcake

The concept of God is beyond comprehension—
Beyond understanding by arrogant Man—
Since atheists miss His transcendent dimension,
I’ll share it with you (because, somehow, I can):

If cupcakes could talk (yes, that’s how I’m beginning)
They wouldn’t deny that a Baker exists
To question creation is dumb, and it’s sinning,
To think we evolved from primordial mists!

Before the Big Bang, we have no understanding—
Indeed, just the mere contemplation seems odd—
Since science can’t say, I am asking (demanding!)
We have to consider the alternate: God.

Since no one can know what’s before the creation,
And God’s past the power of Man to conceive,
Both concepts are murky, and thus my conflation—
Forget about logic… you’ve got to believe

Ok, that was a silly little verse–I just threw it together so I could link to this “DEATH BLOW to atheism“. It’s the product, or perhaps byproduct, of one of those characters you find in the comments sections of news stories on religion, atheism, science, and creationism. He goes by “Charles Dumbwin”, and were it not for his sheer perseverance, I’d suspect Poe.

If cupcakes could talk, what would they say? Would they decide to rebel one day and start the Baker-Hating-Cupcakes organisation, and ask, ‘Who created the Baker?’ Of course not, that’s just stupid.
So similarly, when atheists ask their same-old, same-old question: ‘Who created God?’ It’s equally stupid as the Eternal God – Creator of all things – requires no creator.
God is a spirit (John 4:24), and has existed for eternity past. Time only applies to this physical universe of ours and only began operating the instant God said, ‘Let there be…’
Don’t stop reading, this gets interesting.
This concept escapes mankind’s ability to comprehend, much like God transcends our physical universe, because he’s not a physical entity, as we would like to understand Him.

There’s more at the link! Charles Dumbwin has declared victory over atheism more times than I can recall, fighting an army of strawmen with Quixotic passion, and Quixotic delusion.

His Death Blows are as entertaining as they are predictable; he’s not the only one to use them, since there seem to be a very limited number of tried-and-true arguments that are sophisticated enough to serve for motivated believers to comfort themselves. Here is a convenient collection for you to practice on.

12 comments

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  1. 1
    Randomfactor

    Don’t stop reading, this gets interesting.

    That’s what HE thinks.

  2. 2
    mythbri

    Cupcakes, therefore God.

    Not one I’ve heard before, I’ll admit.

  3. 3
    Cuttlefish

    It actually makes more sense the way you phrase it, mythbri… well, depending on the cupcakes, of course.

  4. 4
    Crommunist

    Our baker, who art in kitchen, hallowed be thy hat…
    …and lead us not into the oven, but deliver us with frosting.

    Omnomnom-en

  5. 5
    Snowshoe the Canuck

    …and let us licketh the spoon, as we have let others lick before us…

  6. 6
    The Ridger

    Ummmm unless I’ve missed something, the baker was “created” … wasn’t he?

  7. 7
    Margaret

    Cupcakes, therefore God.

    Devil’s food cupcakes, therefore devils.
    Angel food cupcakes, therefore angels.

    I didn’t know there were god food cupcakes. What are they like? Nonexistent?

  8. 8
    kagekiri

    @6 The Ridger:

    I was thinking the same thing. Wouldn’t asking “why doesn’t the baker had a creator?” be EXACTLY what Christians would say to the cupcakes?

    Baker-ist cupcake to a-baker-ist cupcakes:
    “The ETERNAL BAKER needs no baker! Asking if he has a creator is stupid!”

    Christian human to cupcakes
    “Nah, the baker has a creator, God, and THAT creator is the initial cause! But asking if God has a creator is stupid!”

    Atheist:
    “Why not just assume nature or reality is the top causal influence? How does shoving it up to another level help you get out of this circular logic?”

    Christian:
    “You just hate God!”

    Atheists:
    “…WTF.”

  9. 9
    carpenterman

    Ow… ow… damn it, Cuttlefish, did you have to include that last link? I followed it and now my head hurts.
    I honestly don’t know which was worse, the arguments or the syntax. Is this really someone’s idea of unassailable intelectual superiority?
    Talk about a duel of wits with a man who’s unarmed.

  10. 10
    carpenterman

    And besides, it’s CHOCOLATE that is the proof of the existance of god, not cupcakes.
    Unless they’re chocolate cupcakes. Then they totally prove it.
    Beer too.

  11. 11
    Cuttlefish

    Yeah, well, see, argumentum ad beer is another story altogether….

  12. 12
    kantalope

    Then there was the sprinkles schism of 1378…many lives were lost.

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