Headline Muse, 12/14 »« (The War On) The War On The War On The War On Christmas

The Predictable Comment

What a pointless waste of money!
What a frightful waste of time!
This is lame, disgusting drivel
And it isn’t worth a dime!
What a waste of a reporter
When this clearly isn’t news!
Your priorities are foolish—
Give us something we can use!
This misguided bit of effort,
Lacking substance, style, or taste,
And my time it took to read it
Are an utter, total waste!
That’s ten minutes of my lifetime
That I’ll never, now, get back,
Spent deciphering the writing
Of a clueless, brainless hack!
All this focusing on nothing
When there’s suffering and pain—
What’s the point in what you’ve written?
How does anybody gain?
You should give your unearned paycheck
To a charity, this week,
So someone else can benefit
From something, when you speak.
Editorial discretion
Means the choice was yours to make
But your choices are deplorable
This time, for goodness’ sake!
You must have though it worthy—
I, of course, must disagree
And even brain-dead idiots
Would surely side with me!

My time is very valuable;
You’ve wasted it, you know.
Without a trace of irony
I write to tell you so.

(more, after the jump–)

NPR is having some fun with comments. They deserve it; their comments section get to be a bit of a war zone at times. They list “the 20 unhappiest people you meet in the comments sections of year-end lists”, and manage to hit most of them. Of course, the comments to the article provide a few more, both intentionally and unintentionally.

Of course, nobody included “the one who comments in verse”… because who would do that?

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