The Song Of The ‘Gelicals


Headline: Cain: I’ll challenge Perry for evangelical votes

‘Gelical votes come out to-night
‘Gelical votes from one and all:
The ‘Gelical polls closing tight—
‘Gelicals come to the Primary Ball.

‘Gelical votes are black and white,
‘Gelical votes are rather small
‘Gelical votes are not too bright,
And not very nice when they caterwaul.
‘Gelical votes have pious faces
‘Gelical votes have angry eyes;
They like to practise their airs and graces
And wait for the ‘Gelical Right to rise.

‘Gelical votes consider slowly
‘Gelical votes are not so big
‘Gelical votes are oh so holy
They think it’s a sin to gavotte or jig.
Until the ‘Gelical hope appears
They hear their sermons and take their notes
‘Gelicals watch and mind their fears
‘Gelicals pray between their votes

‘Gelical votes are white and black
‘Gelical votes think they’re moderate guys
‘Gelicals jump like they’re high on crack
‘Gelical votes have moonbat eyes
They’re quiet enough when they pose and smile
They’re quiet enough in a media search
Reserving their hatred, scorn, and bile
For sermons heard in the ‘Gelical church

‘Gelical votes are black and white,
‘Gelical votes (as I said) are small;
If by chance it’s a town hall meeting night
They will practise a caper or two in the hall.
If it happens the candidate’s not so bright
You would say they had nothing to do at all
They are resting, and moving the goals to the right
For the ‘Gelical hope, in the Primary Ball.

With sincere apologies to T. S. Eliot.

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