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Jun 04 2011

How To Get An IPad

Won’t you listen to my story
Cos it won’t take very long
It’s a tale about a Chinese boy,
Whose name was Little Zheng

Just a boy like any other
And he liked the latest stuff
But it costs a lot of money
And he didn’t have enough

So he thought about his problem
But he didn’t have a clue
Till he saw a notice posted
And he knew what he must do

If you’re feeling some frustration with your current situation
Here’s a little operation, if your conscience will allow
It’s a serious incision, but it’s done with great precision
It’s the rational decision if you want your money now

Little Zheng, he called the number
And they told him where to go
But he had to keep it secret—
It’s illegal, don’t you know

But he really needed money
Cos an iPad costs a lot
And a kidney was the only
Thing of value that he’s got

So he signed away his organ
And he vanquished any doubt
And they gassed him up, and laid him down
And cut the sucker out

If you’re feeling some frustration with your current situation
Here’s a little operation, if your conscience will allow
It’s a serious incision, but it’s done with great precision
It’s the rational decision if you want your money now

It’s a gory little story
But this isn’t where it ends
See, he got a lot of stitches
But he couldn’t show his friends

He devised a bit of fiction
But it wouldn’t get him far
And his mother got suspicious
So he had so show his scar

Now his story’s hit the big time
So I’ll make this guarantee
That this tale of Little Zheng’s is
Not the last one that we’ll see

If you’re feeling some frustration with your current situation
Here’s a little operation, if your conscience will allow
It’s a serious incision, but it’s done with great precision
It’s the rational decision if you want your money now

Yup, Xiao Zheng allegedly sold his kidney to buy an iPad and an iPod, the BBC reports. Video at the link. The cynic in me suspects that this story (mother’s shame and all) will result in a boom of kidneys available for rich people, and a new iPad market among teenagers.

4 comments

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  1. 1
    entropy

    I wonder if the reverse ever occurs – that someone would give up their i-Thingumie for a kidney.That kid doesn't know the value of a kidney, that's for sure. Me, I'm still learning the value of well-written, so-called "doggerel".Holy. Erk. Akk.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doggerel#UsageWow. Now that's doggerel.

  2. 2
    entropy

    Oi. I suppose I mean to indicate the first example at the link in particular.

  3. 3
    Melissa

    Fracking hell! I can't imagine what fun new gadget would make me want to sell an organ.

  4. 4
    sprinklingsofalice

    Oh, that's just awful. The stupid things we do when we are young…

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