Monthly Archive: March 2011

Mar 31 2011


We mustn’t call it poetryLest poets take offenseWe dare not call it balladry–That simply makes no senseWe cannot call it lyric verseThat label, too, falls flat–I’ve heard some call it doggerel… Well, I can live with that. Ok, so I have a bit of an issue with Calvin Trillin. He is “The Nation‘s Deadline Poet”, …

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Mar 29 2011

I Am The Bishop (II)

I am the Bishop, the first in the lineWhen reviewing a case, the decision is mine;If I choose, I will forward the case to the board—Most often, I don’t do a thing (thank the Lord!) I am the Bishop; the Board of ReviewAre my people, who do what I tell them to doIn each of …

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Mar 29 2011

The Talk On A Cereal Box

Who are you? And who am I?Why are we here? Why ask why?What are the biggest, toughest questions?I want suggestions. What is time? And what is space?Do humans hold a special place?Is conscious thought on just this planet?And what began it? What is beauty? What is truth?Can wisdom coexist with youth?Does everybody wear a mask?Why …

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Mar 27 2011

That Sunday Gathering…

Predictably, we see reportsOf godly, fundamental sortsComplaining that we worship sportsInstead of god It happens once or twice a yearWhen tournaments or playoffs nearAnd empty pews are cause to fearThe other squad The Lord commands for all to seeTo “have no gods ahead of me”Which clearly makes idolatryA mortal sin Their future hanging by a …

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Mar 26 2011

W. S. Gilbert Meets Randall Monroe

There’s a marvel in the makeup of a moldThere is splendor in a cytoplasmic slimeAnd when scientists first noticedThis peculiar-looking protistThey agreed it was aesthetically sublime Such a cheerful little fellowIn a brilliant shade of yellowYes I think it is aesthetically sublime! There’s a multitude that live within a dropThey’re invisible until you use your …

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Mar 23 2011

The Battle Of The Bulb

Grab your pitchforks! Grab your torches!Cos it’s time to join the fight!Take up arms against Big Government;They want to take your rightTo illuminate your castleWith an incandescent light—All-American—designed by Thomas Edison! We should act as burning beaconsBlazing bravely through the nightNever hid beneath a bushelBut held proudly, shining bright!So the world can see our powerAnd …

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Mar 21 2011

Open Lab Is Now Available!

I don’t have the time to properly sing its praises at this time, but just take a look at the table of contents, and you’ll see that this is something worth having on your shelf. While you’re at Lulu anyway, remember the Digital Cuttlefish Omnibus is also available.

Mar 21 2011


We want to shrink the governmentJust like we’ve always saidWe want to make it small enoughTo fit inside your bed We’re cleaning up the IRS,We’re getting out the broomThe tax code now cut down to sizeTo fit inside a womb Context.

Mar 20 2011

To Phrase A Coin

The motto is “In God We Trust”;Display it everywhere, we must!In doing so, recall, it’s justA hollow little phrase.It’s on our money, even thoughIt lost religion long ago—Rote repetition made it soIt’s meaningless these days. If you’re like me, you find it oddThat those who claim to love their godWould fight to keep this cheap …

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Mar 19 2011


The New York Times is having a bit of fun; it notes that Monday is both World Poetry Day and the fifth anniversary of the very first Twitter tweet. To commemorate the day, they are asking for poetry within the 140-character Twitter constraint. So, if you are a tweeting type, you can play along (or …

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