Fun With Magic Invisible Flying Monkeys! »« Well, If It Can’t Be Me

Ahh…. Sally. Sally Kern.

Sally Kern is at it again. She has produced a Proclamation for Morality (pdf–but seriously, click through and read it–it is a fantastic exercise in cherry-picking quotes from historical figures!), justifying her resolution to do… what, exactly?

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned elected officials of the people of Oklahoma, religious leaders and citizens of the State of Oklahoma, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma and of these United States, rests upon the Principles of Religion and Morality as put forth in the HOLY BIBLE; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, believers in the One True God and His only Son, call upon all to join with us in recognizing that “Blessed is the Nation whose God is the Lord,” and humbly implore all who love Truth and Virtue to live above reproach in the sight of God and man with a firm reliance on the leadership and protection of Almighty God; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment, and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great sin.

Seriously? That’s all?

Sally has lost the courage of her alleged convictions–she should remember that the only way to really get things done, even in the bible, even for her god to take care of things… was human sacrifice.

WHEREAS the thoughts of Sally Kern
Are always easy to discern—
In fact, if you will take a look
You’ll find them written in a book—
The Holy Bible is her source;
She cannot think alone, of course
and
WHEREAS Ms. Kern believes in God
She wants us all to smile and nod
And spend a day in earnest prayer
To set our country straight and square;
A day or so is all we need,
If we would follow Sally’s lead,
and
WHEREAS this nation first was built,
So Sally says, on Christian Guilt,
Which now the POTUS has forsaken—
Now it’s Satan’s path we’ve taken—
Abortion, drugs, and same-sex sex,
Which Sally Kern, of course, rejects,
and
WHEREAS she simply cannot quit,
But must produce her legal shit,
Proclaim it in the public square
To all the cameras gathered there
And thus display her piety
To sinful types like you and me

therefore be it
RESOLVED, that we, the undersigned,
Unsound in body, soul, or mind,
Do hereby claim alliance with
The bronze-age god, of shepherds’ myth
To save our state from total loss,
Let’s nail some kid up on a cross.

Comments

  1. says

    Unfortunately, I have the shame of living in Oklahoma with bigots like Kerns. Equally unfortunate is the fact that most of our politicians seem to be fascist idiots of her mold, though most are not quite as vociferous.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>